


My best friend

by Wildphoenix_ofthe80s



Series: What if this Storm Ends? [10]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale's True Form (Good Omens), BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), Body Image, Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Crowley's True Form (Good Omens), Eating Disorder hinted at, F/F, F/M, Fainting, Genderfluid Crowley, Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), Genderswitching Aziraphale, Just after Eden, Labour, M/M, Male presenting pregnancy, Mild threat to a child, Morning Sickness, Nonbinary presenting pregnancy, Not so deadly puzzles, Old titles, Painful Pregnancy, Post birth bleeding, Pregnancy, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), The research took months and I still don't think most of it is right, Troublesome pregnancy, True Forms, Tying up every loose end I can find like Steven Moffat, Unexpected role swaps, Whatever happened to baby Gabe, female presenting pregnancy, globetrotting, hard birth, mild PTSD, poor body image, what would you do for your partner, womb rave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:29:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 78,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27787534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wildphoenix_ofthe80s/pseuds/Wildphoenix_ofthe80s
Summary: After the storm and the rainbow, what then? Well, Aziraphale has a number on his mind, and Crowley has a mystery on his hands. (Settle in folks, this is a long one!)
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Harriet Dowling/Original Female Character(s)
Series: What if this Storm Ends? [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1531430
Comments: 172
Kudos: 28





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to note here that I've got all my ley line map info from one source as every source we found was conflicting and I thought it better to stick with one version (In this case the UVG grid compiled by B Hagens, as it allowed me to drag and drop it into google earth and plot fic effectively - use your tools, kids, they help!) - I did however include one small nod to a place that's meant to be a ley line hub which isn't on that map, a place very close to my heart that I once visited as a child and wondered why the hell we had driven 3 hours just to climb a bloody big hill and look at a ruined tower!  
> Because Ley lines are so subjective and such a divisive topic I decided to err on things I've picked up from a video game I love - Okami. In Okami it was stated that belief in a god gives them their power. If we need ley lines to be powerful, maybe it's belief in them which gives them their power too?  
> So please don't come at me. I've done my best given how many headaches doing my research gave me. I hope at least you will enjoy my little fantastical world story on the side of yet another story about the husbands making babies (I do try and keep it interesting for you all ;p )

Crawley looked at the pile of fruit he was making in a large, rubbery leaf. It didn't seem much, to be honest, but he had seen how things decayed on the other side of the wall, maybe a few days was all they would get out of this anyway.   
It wasn't guilt, he told himself as he tore a strip of fabric from his robe and used it to tie the tips of the leaf into a makeshift carrier. Why would it ever be guilt? He was a demon. He was meant to do beastly things like steal the fruits of Eden, and give them to it's expelled former inhabitants. Stealing things, tempting Adam and Eve with things they would never have again, that was demonic work.   
Nothing to do with feeling sorry for their plight, he told himself. Nothing to do with realising how close their situations were, being thrown out of their loving homeland and the Lord's favour, into the nightmare hellscape beyond, for practically nothing.   
He gathered the package up, looping the end of it over a strong branch that had fallen in the first storm. Then he spread his wings and was off, scouring the landscape for any sign of the two small beings, testing the parcel's strength out inadvertently as he flew.   
It didn't take long to see the little flame in the darkness, a small fire lit by the sword, burning a beacon in the landscape.   
He landed, not too close. He considered. They wouldn't want to see him, but he needed them to see the parcel. So he crept as close as possible, snaking it up, taking the stick tightly in his strong jaws to get as close as possible. He placed it gently down and observed. Adam was seated, alert, while Eve slept.   
Crowley hissed loudly. The man's head rose, alerted. His hand reached for the sword. Tellingly, Eve's head moved too. Their rest would never be peaceful out here.   
He hissed again.   
This time Adam stood, the sword held off to the side of him, more of a light than a weapon right now. Clever creatures, humans, Crawley thought. Observe and then attack. He was careful to slither further away before hissing again, louder this time.   
Telling Eve to stay in the light of the fire, Adam finally edged forward. A few hisses in the appropriate direction guided him right to the parcel. The man was wary, but Crawley remained silent now. Some moments passed before Adam took the parcel back to the fireside.   
Crawley didn't intend to stay and watch. He returned to humanoid form quickly, shaking out his long waves of hair and stretching his wings.   
"Excuse me, but what are you doing here?" Came a voice, startling him. He growled, "Angel, why are you creeping about here?"  
"I could ask the same thing." Aziraphale replied insistently, "If you've got more damage on your mind I must warn you they are under my protection and-"  
"Did them a lot of good last time, didn't it." Crawley snorted. Aziraphale's anger fizzled out a little, replaced with shame, "I was only in charge of guarding the Eastern range of the garden. As to where and when you slithered up from Hell-"  
"Oh give it a rest, will you Angel?" Crawley was bored of this, "Already done what I came here for anyway."  
The angel's expression became panicked, "What have you done now?!"  
"Well, you weren't in the garden when I last looked-"  
Aziraphale looked away.  
"I'm guessing you don't fall for dereliction of duty though."   
"No..." The angel replied softly.  
"So where were you?" Crawley asked.   
"Accepting my punishment." The angel replied.  
"How did you get away with it anyway?"  
Aziraphale muttered to himself. Crawley grumbled, "Speak up, Angel."   
"I-I'm going to keep watch over them."  
The demon snorted.  
"W-well what about you?!" Aziraphale managed, "You-I saw you left something here for them. Are you a demon or aren't you?"  
"Oh I'm a demon alright." Crawley chuckled, "Stole fruit from your unguarded Garden and brought it here for them. A little temptation. And a little theft. To add to my commendable crimes."  
"I see." Aziraphale nodded, "Then I have some catching up to do."  
"Watching over them isn't enough?"   
"No." Aziraphale replied, "They'll need help, when the child comes. Shelter. Food. Water."  
Crawley gazed at the Angel's face, picked out by starlight and his inner grace. He really was a strange excuse for an Angel. The demon reached into his robes, "Here."  
Aziraphale frowned at the offered apple, "Are you trying to be funny, demon?"  
"Oh fine then." Crawley handed him an orange instead, "I'll have the apple."   
He sat, facing the glow of the distant fire. Against everything he had been taught, Aziraphale sat beside him, waiting to hear the quiet crunch of the apple before he began to peal the orange.   
"You're-not quite how I imagined a demon to be."  
"You're not how I remember Angels."   
Another bite. Aziraphale placed the first segment of orange in his mouth, enjoying the sweet flavour for a moment before sighing, "I shall have to get better then. To thwart you. If you're planning on staying, too."   
"Might. Might not." Crawley chuckled, "I'll be ready for you."   
More crunching.   
"I'll be on my guard." Aziraphale told him.   
"I'll see you around, then." Crawley replied, "Goodnight, Angel."  
"Goodnight, Crawley."   
The demon had gone. Aziraphale finished his orange thoughtfully. 


	2. Chapter 2

6 thousand years later, give or take a few years, the sort-of-but-not-quite demon Crowley was half asleep in his cup of coffee. Sat opposite him at the table, his husband Aziraphale put down his orange juice, and picked at his toast. Another round of '23 green bottles' from the red headed 3 year old at the end of the table started, and the angel moaned and abandoned his meal.   
"Angel..." Crowley complained.   
"Can't. Not this morning." Aziraphale replied. His eyes rolled to the little boy who stood on his chair, whirling around with increasing speed, "Oh Frederick, would you please stop, you'll fall."  
"Whee!" The boy exclaimed, throwing himself back onto the chair with a burst of tiny fireworks. The chair rocked backwards at a worrying angle. Crowley clicked to stop it falling.   
"Freddie..." He moaned.  
"Frederick dear." Aziraphale said finally, "Are you done with your breakfast?"  
"You not, Daddy. Babi's need t’eat too."  
"Yes dear, but they'll get what they need whether I can keep my breakfast down or not." Aziraphale explained patiently, "Maybe you should watch some television?"  
"Rastamouse!"  
Crowley groaned, "No Freddie, not bloody Rastamouse."  
"Fan taia?" His tongue butchered the word adorably.   
"Not again." Crowley told him, "Bloody ponies and dinosaurs. As for that ending-"  
"Dear, something you haven't watched this week?" Aziraphale tried, swallowing back his nausea.  
"Moana!"  
Crowley gave in, "Fine." He waved his hand. Aziraphale didn't feel up to berating the laziness.  
"Sorry dear." he managed, as Freddie ran for the living room with a squeal.  
"You couldn't help being nauseous. Warned you off the cheesecake though, you know you've been bad with it this week."  
"I had a craving." The angel complained.  
"Got to stop spoiling that one already." The demon chuckled.  
"Never." Aziraphale smiled.  
They sat together in companionable silence for some time until the door was knocked. Aziraphale made to stand, but Crowley clicked it open.  
"I'm sorry dear. Once of these days I will remember there's less of a dampener on my powers." The angel said, holding his stomach firmly as his standing up increased his nausea, "Oh dear." He sat down again. Crowley reached across the table and squeezed his hand.   
"Ah, there you are." Anathema bustled in, "Not eating, Aziraphale?"   
"Nausea." Crowley replied. He paused, "Not worrying nausea, Device, don't look like that."  
Anathema stepped aside to reveal the two girls, "Somehow I'm going to worry anyway, Crowley. Whatever the cards say."   
"Morning!" Jennet called brightly, "Oh, Uncle Zira, you haven't eaten!"  
A strange expression crossed the Angel's face, and he held her shoulders a moment, "Hold that thought, dear." He left the room, heading for the downstairs toilet they'd had installed at the same time as the extra bedrooms.   
"Oh no." Jennet managed, "Is he okay? Is the baby okay?"  
Crowley smiled reassuringly, "We're sure Angel and baby are fine. Just sometimes Uncle Zira gives in to cravings that don't agree with him."   
"Well, so long as it's not petrol or wallpaper I'm sure he'll be fine." Anathema chuckled, "Marie, did you bring the maps from the basket? Jennet, would you clear away those things from the table please?"  
"Oi, what is-" Crowley grabbed for his coffee before it could he cleared away.   
"Jenne!" came a squeal.   
"Freddie!" The girl giggled, moving to scoop him up in her arms, "Oh you're getting heavy!"  
Crowley snorted, "Like you'd know the difference, little one."  
"Well." She said softly, "I can tell him that. Even if it's not much to me." she hefted the boy, throwing him gently a couple of inches in the air and catching him. Freddie laughed happily.   
"Okay, you're off the hook." Anathema smiled, "Go and look after him while I speak with your Uncles."   
Aziraphale had returned, looking a little worse for wear, "Oh, thank you for moving that, I didn't feel like looking at it." He smiled.   
"No problem." Anathema replied, "Here, what do you make of this?" 

*

Half an hour later, two celestials were as puzzled as the two humans in their kitchen.   
"I don't understand what's happening." Anathema said again, "And that worries me."  
"Afraid you're losing your touch, Device?" Crowley asked.   
"Dear..." Aziraphale scolded, "This is... unprecedented. I've never heard of quite this much movement in ley lines."  
"It's been slow, so slow I didn't notice it - a few of my Occultist friends hadn't either - Until Marie pulled out the maps from 20 years ago to practise with in the fields. And they were everywhere. We're trying to compile a new map but even with our contacts it's going to take a long time."  
"Dear, don't you have some people who might be able to help out?" Aziraphale asked.  
"Ngk. I don't see - well - I might - but what's the point? They don't -do- anything." Crowley replied.   
Marie opened her mouth to speak, but Anathema put her hand over it, "Crowley, regardless of your beliefs-"  
"Honed for thousands of years on this planet, may I remind you-"  
"-Some say that Ley lines are wild magnetic threads, woven throughout the planet by the Lord to bind the very power cosmic into the earth."  
The demon rolled his eyes, "Ah, and some say the planets flat or that vaccines don't work. So I shouldn't listen to some."  
"Uncle Crowley." Marie said before her mother could stop her, "What if they're changing so they actually do something, by your standards?"  
"Like what?" The demon asked, though he made sure to keep his tone neutral for the teenager.   
"Well." The girl pulled another map across the table, "There are some hubs where the lines meet. And this one-" She pointed out on the map of the South downs, "This hub is Tadfield and surrounding area. Focussed here." She opened her hands as if expecting a laser pointer to strike the house.   
Aziraphale glanced to Crowley, "We are the centre of the hub, Dear."  
"Nuh, why would-" Crowley grazed his fingers over the map, frowning.   
"So, do you have anybody who would help?" Anathema asked.   
"Loads, oodles." The demon replied, "But I'd have to go with you. And with Angel-"  
"I'll be fine." Aziraphale said firmly, "I'm only pregnant. I'll stay here with Freddie."   
"Angel-"  
"And." Marie butted in, "Mama says she's to seek out the dark forces with that which is closest to demon without being one."   
Crowley eyed Anathema. The woman had done her best to avoid all mention of the further prophecies to her daughters, but this was obviously one of them. Had she slipped up, second time by his count considering Marie was aware of the prophecy that foretold Freddie's birth, or had she told Marie that's what the cards said?  
Then Aziraphale giggled, raising a hand to his mouth to stop, "Oh Dear, it does sound like you're the best one for the job."  
Crowley looked his husband in the eye, but despite the giggles his eyes were worried.   
"Angel, can we talk about this?"   
"We are, Dear."  
"I mean... without an audience?"  
"Oh. Yes. Well, can we get back to you, my dear?" Aziraphale asked brightly, hands tucked behind his back. Anathema nodded, "Of course. I'll ring tomorrow. But Crowley - honestly - it's very worrying to those of us who aren't immortal."   
"Really scary." Marie echoed, "I didn't know what to do when I couldn't find the lines."   
Crowley's mouth twitched, and he nodded, "We'll talk tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

Aziraphale had retreated to his study after the morning's visit, and Crowley eventually joined him when Freddie had his nap on the sofa after lunch. 

"You want me to go jet-setting with book girl? When you're pregnant and nauseous and- and - ngk - Angel I don't want to leave you."

"It could be extremely important, Dear." Aziraphale said, taking notes from his battered old computer, somehow forced many years ago into running Wi-Fi and impenetrable antivirus, hacking and tracking protection.

"So are you." The demon grumbled, "And the baby."

"And if our children turn out to be mortal, and this is something dangerous, Crowley..." the Angel replied firmly, leaving the rest of the sentence to the demon's imagination. Crowley's pupils widened, and he hissed, "Not the kidssss, Aziraphale. Don't. Don't ussse them asssss an-"

"I'm right though, aren't I?" The angel said, turning to face his husband. Crowley's shoulders sagged a little, "You're right." 

Aziraphale's face lit up brightly in a manner he hoped was comforting, "Come and look at what I've got so far."

Crowley had never ceased to be amazed at how Aziraphale's clever mind focussed and learned new things when it was important. His fingers pattered easily over the keyboard without errors, and he even knew some of the shortcuts - things Crowley had never been interested enough to memorise, and forgotten what few he knew when smart devices came out.

"What's that one?" The demon asked, eyes scanning the multiple articles and opinion pieces from the Occult forum the angel was flicking through.

"Looking at any relationship to the Nazca lines." Aziraphale replied automatically.

"Read that already then."

Aziraphale turned to look at Crowley, raising an eyebrow. The demon snorted, "Yeah, so you've been at this all morning, of course you've read the lot - was there any connection?"

"Tentative at best." Aziraphale replied as he returned his attention to the computer, "You knew enough of them."

"Mm. And even I couldn't make sense of everything. Think it was fanart, mostly. A few knew what they were doing. Same the world over. Somebody's worshipping horses and somebody else just loves drawing dicks."

"Mm." Aziraphale replied, "Quite." He picked up his notepad and turned the pages, "Basically, dear, we have a bizarre shifting of ley lines, to the point even the most sensitive of humans, let alone generations of occultists, are struggling. It's like everything they ever knew is shifting, the whole world changing. And it's been happening for years, but so slowly they've adapted - or not had cause to check them. Marvellous things, human brains."

"Always thought so myself." Crowley murmured. Then he paused, his cheeks hollowing a little as he sucked his teeth while pondering.

“Angel?”

“Mm?”

“Why did Anathema have to come to us with this?”

“Well, because she felt we could do something about it? If we’re supposed to be protecting them.” He removed his glasses to polish them with his handkerchief.

“Not what I meant. Angel. Why didn’t we know – why didn’t we sense it?”

“Oh!” The angel nearly dropped his glasses, “Oh. Oh, dear.”

"Do you think it has anything to do with what's happened up-down-ngk, whatever direction it's in now? Are they deliberately making us unable to sense it?"

"I should think as we fly there, it would be upstairs." Aziraphale nodded, "I – I don’t know, Crowley. And I'm not sure, if we could pinpoint it's origin we might have some clue... Worrying too, why is it speeding up?"

"More hybrids?" Crowley suggested.

"Acceptance?" Aziraphale tentatively murmured, "But that can't be. The Lord said there would be more wars..."

"Angel..?" Crowley managed, looking confused and unnerved.

"Mm?"

"What if she didn't mean between our sides?"

"You mean..?"

"Humans and the new side, yeah."

"I don't like that idea." Aziraphale managed, "I don't like that idea at all, Crowley."

"I should go with Anathema." The demon sighed, "If there's anything out there that can tell us anything. How long we've got even - we have to find out, right? And put that knowledge in the hands of a family that's protecting humanity."

Aziraphale nodded.

"And nobody upstairs is likely to tell us or explain themselves, right?"

"No." The angel murmured.

Crowley ran hands over his face, "But I don't want to leave you, Angel. It's still so early and..." He tailed off. Aziraphale reached gently for his hand, holding it to his middle, "We have our plan in place. Anything starts to happen, call - in this case - Newt and the girls to be sure Freddie is looked after, and I have an eye on myself. I know what to do if it all goes south, and I'll let you know so you can head home. But as you said to me, dear... we have numbers on our side. I'm sure it'll be fine."

"I-I'll call every day, Angel." The demon managed, meeting his husband's eye.

"Thank you dear, make sure sometimes it's before Freddie's bedtime."

*

The flights were booked, contacts made aware, and bags packed over the next couple of weeks.

"Didn't think I'd be taking off again so soon." Crowley remarked as the two families met up at Heathrow.

"Did you protect the car, Dear?" Aziraphale called.

"Did I - Aziraphale who do you think your husband is?"

"Mama, I still think I should go too." Marie complained.

"You just want to miss school." Jennet giggled.

"Do not, it's important! And exciting!" Her sister retorted.

"Now girls." Aziraphale smiled, "Don't send your mother off on frowns and arguments."

"Daddy can we get ice cream?" Freddie asked.

"I'm sure we have some at home dear..."

"Please? Special ice cream?"

Aziraphale blinked, "That all depends. Newton may not want to stop on the way home."

"It's fine." The man waved his hand, "Might cheer the girls up."

Anathema was quiet. It was a cool weekend in mid February, but the airport was warm, and she was beginning to regret wearing her fluffy coat and headscarf. The demon sidled up to her, "Worried?"

"I already told you I was."

"Chill. We're top notch investigators."

"With families."

The demon blinked. Then he heard Freddie yell, "Dada! Dada hugs please!"

He left Anathema to her thoughts and moved to take the boy from the angel. Aziraphale smiled, but couldn't hide his own worry.

"You'll be okay?" Crowley asked.

"I will unless you drag being away out until October." the angel replied. He looked tired, and Crowley reminded himself this was normal sickness, this time. It had been coming and going for weeks and his husband was generally as bright eyed as usual.

"Take care Angel." He managed, sweeping him into the hug.

"I'm gunna look after Daddy." Freddie told him, "I'll protect! An Babi's!"

"You're a good little monster, you are." Crowley told him, nuzzling him affectionately, "You take good care of your Daddy."

"Crowley." Aziraphale was blushing. He was also aware of Jennet's anxious glance towards them, "Dear. I think - maybe - somebody else would like a hug."

"Mm?" Crowley's eyes caught their daughter-not daughter's and he remembered golden eyes full of tears briefly before opening his arm, "C'mon little angel."

She gladly joined the group. Aziraphale wrapped his arm around her too, meeting his husband's eyes.

Jennet's appearance had remained as she had been before the war. Aziraphale had told her once that it was for the best for her family, and that only she had control over it. She was happy being the Angel daughter of two humans, sister to another, and this was her response to it. Still she had found herself with questions though. Sometimes if she squinted in the bathroom mirror she could see those gold freckles beside her eye, and sometimes a strand of her silky, dark hair would gleam bright red in the sun.

She was in her mid human teenage years, and that was adding to her confusion and questioning.

Crowley had frozen in shock when Aziraphale suggested on one visit that maybe curiosity was inherited. 

All too soon they were bidding farewell to Anathema and Crowley. The demon kept looking back until the last, while Anathema just turned before they lost sight and waved brightly, "I'll be back before you know it!"

"I hope." Crowley grumbled.

"He'll be fine, Crowley. You said yourself it's only morning sickness this time. Newt or one of the girls will check in with him every day. The girls will stay a couple of nights a week to help with Freddie."

"S'pose." Crowley managed, "S'been 6 weeks since we conceived a celestial baby in space though, and this is the worst he's been - long term I mean -"

"Maybe it's multiples." Anathema teased.

"Don't." Crowley grumbled, "He's had one set already."

"It can run in human families." She chuckled, as they sat in the gate waiting area, "And given 'the Ineffable plan'-"

"One more thing to worry about." The demon huffed, "Give over Device."

"Yeah, alright." Anathema sighed, "Do you want a coffee? I feel like Coffee is a must right now."

"Fine." he nodded. The woman abandoned her coat and headscarf next to him before she made her way to the shop.


	4. Chapter 4

Crowley hadn't been sure at first, all those years ago, about involving Anathema with the arrival of the twins. Though she had helped, he was still suspicious and protective of Aziraphale, newly released from their statuses as stationed angel and demon of Earth. But as time went on and she visited Aziraphale more, he noted it was as much business as genuine interest and friendship. After teaching the angel his breathing, sometimes they would chill out with books or tea or theorising. So of course gradually Crowley was dragged into it, and gradually he began to enjoy her company too. Watching US TV, playing cards, laughing at fake mediums even - by the time the twins were born he was fairly happy to let her handle it. After all, Aziraphale was his greatest love. He needed him more than the squalling ginger babies they had produced (At least until he met the twins. The moment he held their little miracles, his mind had been blown with how in the world he could love them as much as the angel who had built them.)

After several more of the occultists' vital interruptions over the years, he realised he'd grown accustomed to her face without actually seeing it. Now, sitting on a plastic chair and watching the woman return, he took the time to study her. When had her hair started to go grey?

"What are you staring at?" She asked as she handed him his drink, utterly confused by the frown he wore.

"Oh it's a-" he waggled his fingers over his head, "Blimey, you had me going there. I didn't realise we were doing disguises!"

Anathema frowned at him, throwing her headscarf around her shoulders as she sat, "It's a shawl. Newt knitted it for me. Took him 6 attempts, he kept getting his tie caught up in it."

"No-No I mean the- the-..." The demon fell silent, a strange and horrible thought hitting him properly for the first time.

Time. Time passes, but Celestials ignore it. But - Anathema already had her successor, and crinkles around her intelligent brown eyes, and grey streaks in her dark hair.

He recognised seeing this emotion in Aziraphale. Aziraphale had noticed the humans around them aging - but it had hit him when he began to pine about having another baby, when the twins went to school. Crowley had noticed his husbands’ despair, but never quite grasped why that milestone hit him so hard. While Crowley had been so happy just to be around his children, to have fun and watch them grow up, Aziraphale had been learning to take photographs, and taking them whenever he could - hoarding memories as he hoarded books because he had realised this might not all be forever.

And they would someday lose their friends, and maybe even their children.

"Are you alright, Crowley? If it's about the multiples comment-"

"No-Nah-Fine-I'm fine." Crowley waved his arm and sipped his coffee, "Bloody hell you'd think they could scrape together something a bit better than this wouldn't you? Was in Yemen when they worked out you could brew coffee seeds, and that was better than this!”

“Are you claiming you tempted people into creating Coffee?” Anathema asked dryly.

“You bought it.” He snorted, and changed the subject before he could be argued with, _"Av_ iation industry catering's a mess. Need to sort it out. Before Angel travels again." He clicked his fingers.

"Oh." Anathema said as she took a sip of hers, smelling the little hit of ozone and cinnamon that marked one of Crowley's miracles, "That's lovely. Thank you."

"Yeah, well, only the best for a good friend." The demon replied, gazing pointedly at the boarding screens, "What are we going to do for half an hour then?"

"I plan to enjoy this until boarding. Then I'm going to sleep, and I suggest you join me." Anathema replied, "It's a long flight to Johannesburg."

"You sure?" Crowley snorted, "Last time I took a nap I didn't wake until Freddie kicked me in the ear."

"I'm far worse than Freddie." Anathema chuckled, "Drink up."

*

Even as his husband was settling in for the flight, Aziraphale was fretting. They were on their way to Horsham, to stop at a dessert shop Newt knew the girls liked visiting. The airfields of Heathrow and suburbs of London had long vanished behind them, and all around were fields. He frowned briefly. One field they were cruising past was full of sheep. They were standing, the adults turning in slow circles, 360 degrees, first one way and then the other in confusion, while the first lambs stood perfectly and uncertainly still.

He frowned. What was that he'd once heard about sheep following ley lines?

The next time he looked, they had returned to their regular movements. Except for three Ewes, who were walking slowly south.

 _Tadfield is south_. the Angel frowned harder.

*

11 hours flight, a miraculously quick turnover at O.R. Tambo international airport and a 4 hour shuttle ride later, they arrived in Mbabane. A look at Anathema made Crowley wonder if she was going to suggest staying the night there; no shuttle bus seat was a match for a comfy sofa at home, after all. But the woman was determined to stick to the schedule, and after a rough ride in the hire car she had booked ("No way am I letting you pick, speed demon.") they finally rolled up to a lodge near Lobamba.

Crowley miracled the luggage to where it needed to be, and they made their way inside.

"Meeting Ern tomorrow afternoon..." Crowley glanced at the clock, "Today afternoon... Later. Hub should be 7 miles South of here." He mumbled.

"Crowley, why do so many demons have such human names?" Anathema managed, curling up in a big, soft chair.

"Well, Ern's not really a demon, more a man who once decided he just wasn't going to listen to death."

"Not going to..?" The woman gazed at him blearily.

"Well, Death came for him, that is to say, but he wouldn't leave. Horrible affair with tearing a soul from its body and all - these days they have things in place to stop refusals. Not to say there aren't still workarounds but-"

Crowley gazed over his own flapping hands and realised that Anathema was already asleep. He miraculously made her phone send a message home - 'Arrived safe. Talk later. Sleep first.' then decided she would probably feel better for a nights sleep in her bed.

The woman sorted out, Crowley checked his own bed - his cases were casually piled at the end - made sure everywhere was locked for the night, and settled down to bed himself.

Comfortable at last, he took his phone out. Aziraphale always slept more when he was pregnant, and that phone was never on his person, so he didn't feel guilty about leaving him an answer machine message to wake up to in a bit.

Two rings though, and a sleep-fuzzy voice answered, "Crowley?"

"Angel? Angel why are you awake?" All thoughts of leaving his husband a nice surprise messaged dashed, he instead got to work making sure the local baker had decided to make whatever cakes his husband had a craving for today. After all, it was 2 or 3am over there and Aziraphale would probably walk Freddie into the village to distract him from missing his dad.

"Waiting for you?" The reply was still hazy, the angel obviously having fallen asleep with his phone.

"That doesn't happen very often." Crowley chuckled, "I just wanted to let you know we got here safe."

"Oh good." The angel replied. If he hadn't been calling the mobile, Crowley swore he could see the angel lying on his back in bed, twirling and twisting the phone cord around his fingers.

"Yes, well. I'll be asleep soon-"

"It's so silly." Aziraphale continued suddenly, "Times past we could spend hundreds of years apart and not really notice... these days you're gone an afternoon and..."

Crowley swallowed, "Yeah I know, never... never expected that."

"Wished it maybe."

"Wished..?"

"Oh, not being apart dear, goodness no. More... Wished we could be close enough I did feel it when we were apart."

"Angel..." The demon sighed, "Hey. Which hand is the phone in?"

"Left..?"

"Okay. Roll onto your left side. Put your right arm across that tummy of yours. No - don't argue - you done it?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Okay. Hold your left hip gently. Squeeze it just a little."

"Mm..."

"I'm curled up behind you." The demon murmured, pupils dilating slowly as his concentration ebbed from them and into his arm, "That's my arm and I'm holding you close, Angel."

Aziraphale let out a little whimper, "You're so warm, Crowley."

The demon moved his head gently. A ghost of a nuzzle traced his husband's shoulder.

Aziraphale let out a little mewl, "T-Thank you for calling, dear. I feel so much better for hearing you." he paused, "Crowley, isn't it 4am there?!"

"Dunno. Haven't looked." Distantly Crowley thought he could feel the warmth of his husband in his arms, and he was concentrating on that alone.

"Crowley. You must sleep, dear. It's been a long day. Thank you - for - for calling and for... looking after me."

"Angel..."

"No dear, you must take care of yourself and your clever mind, or how will you solve this?"

The demon hissed.

"Goodnight dear. Will you call Freddie tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'll call Freddie." _And you, you daft fool_ , he added silently, "...Goodnight, Angel."

"Goodnight dearest."

Crowley gave his husband one last squeeze before he dropped the connection, and fell immediately into a deep and exhausted sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm warning everybody now, this fic is a long one.

Around Noon, Crowley and Anathema stepped from the hire car and gazed across the fields.

"Bit of a walk." The snake sighed.

"Glad I dressed appropriately." Anathema replied, "Come on, we've got an hour. I suppose 'Ern' will wait if we're a little late?

"Yeah." The demon replied, "He's pretty chill. Facing off with Death and winning will do that, I suppose."

The weather was at least not the height of the South African summer, being about 20 degrees C and dry. So it was a pleasant enough walk, though Crowley had made sure he brought a spare cantina, so they had enough water should Anathema need it. Last thing he needed was his in-the-know occultist to keel over on site.

A mild heat haze distorted the horizon, and he smiled at the memory it brought back.

"What's up with you?" Anathema asked.

"A distant memory of riding a pearlescent coloured unicorn, bareback across the African plains." he chuckled, "Mystical creatures were Unicorns. Made specifically by her upstairs, so said the rumours. Each one a little hint that man was not as forsaken as they believed. If you could catch and convince one to be ridden it was meant to be an honour. Of course that all ended soon enough. A few nautical miles that way-" He waved his hand idly, "The floods saw to all but one of them." He stopped briefly, experiencing a wave of sadness at remembering that fact, "Saw to a lot of lives, in fact. Kids, even. And they call ME bad."

Anathema studied his face, "Bullshit. Unicorns?"

"Hey don't blame me, blame Shem." The demon snarled, "He never rode a Unicorn, obviously. Beasts were too smart to let him up."

Anathema snorted. Then she stopped dead.

"S'true!" Crowley insisted, and walked smack into the back of her, "Oi!"

"One of the lines is here." The occultist said, "But I don't feel..." She looked around, at a loss, "It feels wrong. If this is a hub, the lines should be close, close enough to feel them all. But I only feel one." She knelt, swinging her backpack off to rummage in it for her divining rods.

Crowley tried to suppress an eyeroll.

"It's directed East to West." She concluded a few minutes later, "The one I would expect to find here, converging by the hills over there, would be West to East running."

Crowley nodded, "So wherever the hub is, it's not here. It's probably that way." He waved to the West.

"So do you need me or don't you, m'boy?" boomed a voice. Crowley jumped, "Ern you dick."

Anathema wasn't sure what she expected from a soul torn from their body (and somehow leaning on a tree as if they were as much flesh, blood and alive as she was), but Ern wasn't it. He was a tall, African man with a shaved head and a dark but grey-peppered beard. He was wearing a slate grey suit, but no tie, his collar buttons open and his smart shoes not daring to gather dust.

"Crowley, you are going to be late as usual." He stood, smiled widely and clapped the demon on the shoulder. Then he offered Anathema his hand, "You must be Ms. Device. A pleasure."

"Thank you." The woman took the offered hand and shook it, "Mr..?"

"Just Ern, please." he beckoned Crowley, "You're interested in the ley lines? I have 'asked around', as you put it. You'll find the convergence North of Ermelo."

"Thasss 2 hours away!" Crowley managed, "How long has it been there?"

"As far as I can tell from sources." Ern replied, "25 years it's been shifting."

"25 years..." Anathema repeated, "What on earth has been happening that nobody noticed until now?"

"Divine intervention?" Crowley suggested weakly.

"You may be right." Ern replied, "Many have said this year is 25 years since the local readers foresaw a terrible happening."

"Adam." Anathema realised, "25 years - nearly 26 though - ago, Adam refused to end the world."

"But." Crowley managed, "25 years..." He squatted a moment in the dirt, rubbing his hands through his hair.

"Crowley? What?" Anathema asked.

"Speak up Snake boy, for goodness' sake." Ern said, "Couldn't you have sent your husband instead? I can always have a conversation with him."

"Ern. Not funny." Crowley snarled, "The twins. The twins are 25 this year."

"Hrm, always did think you'd spawn problems." Ern chuckled.

"Oh will you shut UP!" Crowley snarled.

"Crowley, the lord blessed your union. The twins are muses, they couldn't be mixed up in anything potentially dangerous." Anathema soothed, taking the demon by the shoulders. His pupils had blown wide in a panic, and she sighed, "Crowley. Crowley. I'm sure it will be fine."

"...And we have another one coming!" the demon finally managed to force out, "I know - I know - you're right, you're right, of course you are, but- but-"

"Crowley." Anathema tried again, "Your children are muses. They inspire, they don't harm."

"But will they inspire harm in others?" The demon asked.

"Are you finished?" Ern asked.

Crowley nodded numbly.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"Ngk-"

"The antichrist's actions, the lord blessing you both - it's all part of something far bigger than any of us. As this will be."

"Coincidence, not causality." Anathema added with a nod, "Come on Crowley, I understand - but we have a job to do here. If you're that worried, call your kids."

"Fine. S'go." Crowley dropped his head and started to continue their walk.

"Is there a reason you're going to investigate an empty field?" Ern asked incredulously.

"We came all this way." Anathema replied, "We're going to check every lead."

"In which case I will accompany you." He nodded, "I don't fancy being called back out to guide you to the convergence, so I will stay."

*

There was nothing remaining but the single ley line cutting through where the hub once was, but Anathema was sure to check everything she could before they set off for the car. On the walk she had found out that Ern was largely a solitary man these days - like the celestials she knew, immortality had taken it's toll on him, and he preferred not to get to close to his fellows.

"What made you do it?" She asked, as they reached the car, "Did you think before you answered Death back? Do you ever regret?"

"Regret is an inappropriate word." Ern replied as they both climbed in, Crowley resigned to the back for once, "To regret, I would have to remember what being human was like. And it's been a long time. A very long time."

"I suppose." Anathema nodded.

"One day you will forget how being a demon felt, Crowley." Ern told him as they pulled into the road, "And your husband what being an Angel felt like - With any luck your sides will follow suit."

"Will that be a good thing?" The demon asked gloomily. Truth be told he was itching to call Aziraphale, but it would be lunchtime at home and the angel would be cooking with Freddie. The boy loved to experiment with food - Crowley just hoped today's attempt didn't turn his husband's stomach too much.

"What was it like before the fall?" Anathema asked, "If that's not too impertinent a question."

"Some of it was always the same." The demon replied, "Same old stuck ups, Gabriel, Sandy, Michael. Same old me asking questions. I suppose same old Aziraphale being worried and concerned and helpful. Before the bastard awoke in him."

"Might it be different, even just for the children's sake?" Ern asked.

"For putting a teenager in charge, maybe." Crowley replied, "And for ousting Gabriel. And breaking up his little clique."

"The shake up you didn't deserve, but the one your people needed." Anathema said quietly.

Crowley was quiet after that. Ern took it upon himself to talk with Anathema, never giving too much away about himself. The witch gazed out of the window, at fields of crops and lush grasses, quite unlike what she had expected, and listened to the man's chatter.

It was 2 hours to Ermelo, and ten more minutes North before they pulled off the road and onto a rough dirt track. They crossed over a small hillock and curved around to a small settlement.

"Never get the Google van down here." Crowley chuckled.

"The drone will have that covered." Anathema replied.

Beyond the small, boxy houses with dusty drives were more fields. Distantly they could hear the airstrip at Wesselton, and the main road beyond. Eventually Ern pulled up at the side of a field, "Here we go."

"Bloody hell." Crowley said, "What's been going on here?"

"Archaeological excavation." Ern replied, "It's alright, it's gone 5 now. They've gone off back to camp. We'll be fine."

The mild prickling at the back of Anathema's neck sprang into a full blown shiver as she stepped out, "Oh. This is the spot."


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey! Hey Aziraphale!" Came a call.

The Angel tightened his grip on Freddie, held close to his front, before he turned at the call. He beamed at the man who was following.

"Adam my dear! And Eva, and hello, Dog too!"

Adam had moved back to Tadfield after the wedding to Emily, wanting the upbringing he had been gifted for his daughter. He must be on the way home from school with her, Aziraphale realised as the girl caught up with them, squealing at Freddie. The boy swung his legs and giggled in return. He was tired from his walk into town, but never too tired to smile and pat his friend's hand.

"Can I offer you tea?" Adam was asking, "It's on the way after all."

"Of course my boy. A play-date for the children."

Adam laughed, "It's so funny when you say modern things, Aziraphale."

The Angel huffed, but it was all teasing. They headed up a little dirt track to a small cottage with beautiful strong stems of Jasmine around the door (Crowley's moving in present).

Freddie deposited on the sofa and Eva sent to get changed, Dog pattering at her heels, Aziraphale made himself comfortable. Although not far enough along to show, he nonetheless felt nervous and a little paranoid in his clothes, and had abandoned his waistcoat today because he felt constricted.

By the time Adam had returned with the mugs, Freddie had got down from the sofa and was pestering to get up on Aziraphale's lap. The angel lifted him up, letting him wrap his arms around his neck, "Frederick dear, Eva will be back in a moment and you can play."

"Mm." Freddie replied. As the tea arrived, Adam offered him a biscuit. The boy looked questioningly to his dad, and at his nod got back down to take one, "Thankoo Mr. Young."

Then Eva and Dog returned, and they went to play in the girl's room.

"I know why, but you seem very attached to that boy." Adam said, "I mean moreso than the others."

"Can you blame me dear?" Aziraphale replied, "After we lost Spark-"

"I know, I know." Adam replied, a calm exuding from him that he probably wasn't quite in control of even now, "But you do mother him a lot."

"I think... maybe that's why Crowley decided to ask about having more when he did." The angel replied, staring into his tea.

"Hm?" Adam asked, helping himself to a biscuit and offering the packet to the angel, who gratefully took one, "Time, Adam. I wonder if it will ever stop for the children. And as I felt sad as the twins got closer to school age, I feel sad to see Frederick doing the same. Perhaps Crowley sought to find me a distraction." He chuckled, "As if the Ley lines changing wasn't a big enough change."

"Anathema asked if I knew anything." Adam replied, "I don't I'm afraid. If I have anything to do with it, it's not conscious."

"Of course, my dear." The angel replied, "But it is concerning nonetheless. And with Crowley gone investigating for as long as it takes..."

"You know if you need an evening off, I'll gladly have Freddie. Eva loves him to bits."

"Most kind my dear. Although I fear it may be hard just to have the cottage to myself too."

"You could go to London, see a play, stay overnight?"

Aziraphale smiled, "It has been a long time. But it's strange - although we have our own spaces in the house, being completely without Crowley doesn't seem - well, nice. For so long we saw each other so rarely. And then we moved in together. Since then we've barely been apart, mostly when I was - struggling after Spark..." the Angel sipped his tea thoughtfully, "Now the house seems... empty. And while once upon a time my empty bookshop was my personal heaven..."

"You're accustomed to sharing a house." Adam nodded, "I get it."

"Accustomed to the impossibility of waking up together." Aziraphale sighed.

"Well." Adam snorted, "Not impossible, just unlikely. I'm sure you managed once or twice before you shared a house."

Aziraphale's face lit up, "Oh, did I ever tell you about Babylon?"

"The one with the gardens?"

"That one indeed! Though it was nearly our last trip after Crowley got drunk and swore at the plants..."

*

They hadn't stayed long. Freddie was tired, and Aziraphale was tiring. So when Emilie rang to say she was leaving work now and would Adam start the tea off, the Angel made his exit.

At home, the box of pastries he had bought at the shop was safe in the pantry - he had miracled it there when Freddie had asked to be carried. Still, he had to make an effort at a proper tea first. He left the toddler napping on the sofa as he chewed his lip and went through a recipe book, pondering what was good food for a growing boy.

He settled on steaming some chicken and vegetables in the end. A little bland for his tastes, but the vegetables were home grown, the chicken was local, and Freddie seemed to enjoy it like that. He could always season his own after dishing up his son's. In the meantime he could start off some bread dough and let it rise in the warm kitchen.

It was some time later that he heard his son chattering happily in the living room, and made to see who he was talking to, wiping his hands on his apron as he did.

He was surprised; Crowley's face was on the television.

"Oh my, are you possessing the electrics again?"

"No, daddy, is pic'ure share," Freddie explained, waving the phone that the Angel had only just realised was even in here.

Aziraphale nodded in reply, but had no real idea what that meant. He supposed it would be useful to know about for future though.

"Put the phone on the table Freddie." Crowley said, "Point the camera at you both."

Aziraphale sat down with his son, at least aware of where the camera was on the ancient phone, "Hello dear, it's not tonight yet."

"'Ullo Angel, loose a fight with a snowman?" Crowley beamed at his beloved. The angel looked down at himself and realised that despite the apron, he was covered in flour. He giggled, "Well, uhm actually I've started baking again!"

"'Alf of daddy isn't babies." Freddie said solemnly. Aziraphale frowned at the boy, but Crowley had continued speaking.

"Ringing now because - you know we're near Joberg right?"

"Yes?" The angel replied uncertainly, unable to see what that had to do with baking.

"We only found a bloody dinosaur!" Crowley grinned in an excited manner his husband noticed was identical to Freddie's smile, "And not just any dinosaur, oh no! It's one of Ligur's, got his mark on it and everything!"

"Oh, well that is, uhm, remarkable?"

"Too right it is. Hey, give Hastur a call will you? Tell the toad to take me off block and call me, bet he'd love to show it off to the kids."

"Are you sure that's wise dear? I mean, what if he has to explain what happened to Ligur?"

"Nah, water under the proverbial bridge. Go on then, what ya been cooking up?" Crowley waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Aziraphale blushed, "Just bread! And our tea!"

"I won't keep you from your food long then." The demon grinned, "Just wanted to be sure you were doing okay."

"We got cake!" Freddie squealed, "Cake for babies!"

"Babies?!" Crowley frowned.

"Frederick dearest." Aziraphale sighed, stroking the boy's ginger fringe out of his eyes, "Do you know how rare multiple babies are? It's not very likely."

The toddler blinked at him, giving him a withering look that Aziraphale only identified as one of his own a few moments afterwards, "Babies." He said firmly.

"Well." Crowley laughed nervously, "That told us. Babies, right Angel?" He winked behind his glasses; Aziraphale could see the twitch of his eyebrow.

"Yes, I suppose so, Dear." Was the reply, weak as it was.

The oven timer went off. Aziraphale sighed, "Time to go."

"Talk to you later. See you Freddie! Seriously Angel, call Hastur, toad won't want to miss this!"

"Alright dear." 

*

Anathema was taking measurements and site history with Ern when a trio of figures approached.

"Hastur my demon!" Ern greeted him with a smack to the shoulder that was reciprocated, "Nearly didn't recognise you, your hair looks natural!"

"That's because it is." The blonde haired teenager behind him said, "It makes the toad itchy."

"Where is Crowley?" Hastur asked, "He'd better be sure about this."

"That way." Anathema nodded. As the demon stalked by, Ern chuckled, "Have you ever met demon spawn before?"

"Yes, Lucien." The witch replied, "I know there was a third child but I never met him."

"That's the one." Ern replied, "Samehra, a bigger influence on Hastur duke of hell than he ever would admit. And Ligris, because the holy and infernal pairings were not quite as random as they appeared."

"How do you know that?" Anathema blinked, studying the little girl who tagged along behind her brother. She had the same blonde hair as he did, but her eyes, rather than her brother's soft brown, were wholly black. Samehra took Ligris' hand as they edged closer to the digging hole their father had just stepped into.

"Word travels fast on the ground." Ern replied as they followed the little group, "And, well. The pairings were too perfect, really. Hence Ligris." he chuckled, "It's not bloody Ineffable. It's the lord almighty having shipping wars with Lucifer!"

"Well?" Crowley was saying when they got there. Hastur knelt to the fossil, noting the once angelic marks on the hip bone, marks that had twisted into something else the moment Ligur had fallen.

"Rare one." He concluded.

"Dracovenator, yeah." Crowley replied, "Not many of those ones around."

"Why are we lying to them?" Hastur said suddenly.

"Who, Dad?" Samehra had joined them in the hole, Ligris clinging to his back.

"It was what he asked." The demon replied, his mouth twisting crossly, "The final straw."

"Guess that was my fault too, huh?" Crowley managed, "She'd had enough of questions?"

"More than enough." Hastur growled, "I won't forgive you."

"I don't expect it." Crowley replied, "I told you last time. Thought you should see it though."

"I'm taking it."

"Be my guest."

Hastur finally looked back to the children, "Here, come and look at your Uncle's work."

"Wow!" little Ligris was impressed, "BIG!"

Samehra reached gently for the mark. He still hesitated, almost expecting to be scolded for touching, but when nothing came he touched it, fingers tracing it. He knew little of Ligur, only that he and his father had been close, and that Crowley was behind his death. His fingertips pressed a little harder, and part of his mind reached, touched a little angelic something remaining in the bones that were crafted more than 6000 years prior.

A little flash, a dark skinned Angel with glorious bushy black hair. He was covered in colours - everything he crafted was full of colours - these bones had so many colours in that they appeared white to human eyes.

He took a little breath as he removed his fingers, a little spark of knowledge bright in his eyes. He turned to Crowley, "Why did you kill him?"

"Sssself defence." The snake demon replied.

"SameE!" Ligris shouted, "Rude!"

He gave her the withering look of the despairing older sibling, but relented, "Yeah, sorry Lili."

"It was nearly me." Hastur added. Then he stood. One click and the skeleton was gone. The demon duke turned to Crowley, "I'm blocking you again now."

"Good." Crowley replied. As the demon scrambled from the hole though, the little girl said loudly, "Bye Mr. demon snek!"

Crowley snorted, "You should meet my son. You're as bubbly as he is."

"So long flash." Samehra added as he lifted his sister to climb out.

"See you spawn." Crowley replied. His hackles didn't drop until the three had vanished back into the misty night air.

"Gettin' cold." He complained as he climbed out the hole himself, "Think the rains coming too."

"Agreed." Ern said, "Will you be needing me again?"

Crowley looked to Anathema.

"I think I've got all the info that would be useful." The witch replied, "I'm not sure what it's telling me though. Maybe if I ask the cards tonight I might get some insight."

"The name I gave you." Ern told her, "She may help too. Local bone thrower. If any more information is to be found she will have it."

"Thank you." Anathema replied, "You've been a great help."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its late this week, the fuckening is occuring.

"So your brother started a gang-"

Freddie squeaked.

"No, no dear! Not that sort of gang. He performed musical theatre on Tadfield green. The most illegal thing they did was perform on a public green without a licence!"

"Oh." The boy nodded, not quite understanding. Then the phone beeped. He scrabbled for it, "Is Dada!"

"Is it?" Aziraphale asked, amused by the boy's joy, "What does he say?"

"Says... says..." The boy stuck his tongue out, concentrating, "Says Di-no... ssss. sssa. ur."

"Dinosaur." Aziraphale prompted.

"Diiinsaar."

"Close enough."

"No!"

"Honestly, Frederick." The angel sighed. Freddie was a good boy, but even the goodest of boys had toddler tantrums sometimes.

"No!"

"Oh, you can say it now..." The angel chuckled, "Say it with me. Di-"

"Di."

"No."

"No!"

"Sauuur."

"Sauu...uuurr."

"Di-no-saur."

"Di-diNO-saur."

"See?" Aziraphale beamed, "Well done!"

"Saur." Freddie repeated, "Di-NO-saur."

"What else did he say?"

"Peekture!"

"Oh, really? May I see?"

"Yes!" Freddie laughed as he handed the phone over.

"Oh!" Aziraphale beamed at the picture. It was a selfie of Crowley in his glasses, giving the camera a thumbs up with the skeletal remains in the background.

"Oh, so that's Ligur's Dinosaur." Aziraphale murmured.

"Ligur who?"

"Ligur. He was a fellow your father used to work with a long time ago."

"Ligur own 'NOsaur?"

Aziraphale chuckled, "Not exactly dear. Ligur made that particular pile of bones."

"Selfie?"

"Not right now dear."

"No, Is selfie!"

"Oh! Yes, your father took a selfie."

"No!" Freddie rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, "Ligur selfie!"

"Oh? Oh!" Aziraphale finally understood, "Oh no Freddie. Ligur was more like a chamelion."

"Camel... lion?"

"Oh dear." The angel sighed, "You ask such questions, Frederick Orsino Fell-Crowley!"

"Kestions." Freddie beamed at him. Yes, Crowley had already taught him *that* word....

"Ask your father when you next see him, dear."

"We make bread NOsaurs?!"

Aziraphale sighed, "Yes, maybe son."

*

Their 4 night visit to Africa turned into a fortnight, as they travelled and catalogued and Anathema filled notebooks with notes that were duly clicked back to the cottage for Aziraphale and Marie to read. Crowley called every night. After two weeks though, he needed to see his family again. 

It took Aziraphale a couple of goes to get the phone screen shared with the television. Freddie sat in his lap and tried to show him, though Aziraphale eventually left him to it. The boy was delighted when his dad's voice became his dad's image on the screen. Crowley could have dived through, no problem, but that would have taken a lot of energy he needed for other things. So he just kept low level energy ticking over to keep the signal strong and the phone charged, which Anathema was surprised extended to her when they were out in the middle of nowhere.

"Where's your dad?" Crowley asked.

"Making ho' chocolate! Gunna watch wonderland wi the babies!"

"Still babies?" Crowley snorted.

"Babies." Freddie insisted.

"Freddie son, I don't think that-"

"I've already told him that, dear." Aziraphale's voice floated from the background somewhere, "I find it best to keep humouring him, he gets quite upset if you explain why it's probably not twins."

Freddie was lifted up, phone visual all over the place until the boy and phone were in Aziraphale's lap and hot chocolate had been handed over. Freddie's attention was captivated for at least a few minutes. Aziraphale scrunched up his face briefly before willing the image back onto the phone.

"DADA!" Freddie screamed.

"If you want to watch a film Frederick, I need your dad back on here." Aziraphale told him firmly. Crowley bit his lip, wondering exactly how many last nerves his angel had when it came to their children. The angel found the remote momentarily, pressing play so he could talk to his husband while Freddie was engaged with the film.

"He's been a good boy." The Angel told him, "Helped with washing up and everything."

"Dead set on upstaging Lex is he?"

"No dear, he's just a good boy." despite his irritation, Aziraphale beamed at the ginger head of hair which was all either of them could see of the boy since he'd pulled the tartan blanket up to his neck.

" 'Ma good boy Dada." Freddie repeated.

"Have to see if we can find you something for a present won't we?" Crowley grinned indulgently.

"Not another kazoo." Aziraphale replied.

"Nah, plenty of fun noisy things out here." Crowley chuckled.

"Not an elephant either!" Aziraphale protested.

'"Nah." Crowley left the car, performing a slow spin around the landscape, "Look familiar angel?"

"It's sandy." Aziraphale blinked, "And getting dark."

"Cradle of man, Angel."

"Oh!" the angel managed, "Though how you'd expect me to know one sandy hillside from another, dear..."

"You're right." Crowley bent down and picked up a rock, "This wasn't here when we were, anyway."

"Really." Aziraphale sighed.

"Moving on tomorrow Angel." Crowley said suddenly, "Hadn't expected to spend so long here."

"No, it's been... interesting."

"Dull." Crowley replied, "Thought the bone thrower would have been more interesting than she was. It's just bits of stuff, Angel! Bits of stuff she threw and 'read' and book girl was..." He paused.

"Dear?"

"They're getting older, aren't they?" The demon managed, softly. He slumped into the grass and pulled the phone back in close to see his husband better, "I didn't notice."

"Oh my dear, I'm so sorry." Aziraphale managed, "Freddie, stay and watch the film a minute, I need to speak to your father in private."

"K Da." The boy murmured, engrossed.

"I didn't realise you hadn't - I mean-" Aziraphale replied as he stepped into the kitchen and sat at the table, "I'm sorry love."

"Ssss'not your fault Angel." Crowley managed, "But I have - I've noticed - I - ngk... I don't like this. This. Feeling."

Aziraphale wished more than anything in that moment that he had the spare energy to send his husband a hand on his shoulder, a comforting squeeze, "I know. I understand. It's... it's terrible."

Crowley made a noise in his throat, midway between 'erk' and a growl. He covered his eyes a minute, rubbing them with his thumb.

"Dear, maybe you should sleep this off." Aziraphale managed, "I can't - I can't do anything from here." He fretted.

"You're right. Sorry. Shouldn't. You don't need this and Freddie all day." The demon managed.

"No dear I didn't mean-"

"No. S'alright. You're right. Need to rest. Enjoy the film, yeah?"

Aziraphale was sure he noticed a dark line through the dust on his husband's face. A tear.

"Crowley, listen to me." He managed to put enough authority in his voice to get the demon to not turn the phone off. He breathed, "It wasn't meant like that. I will listen, whatever you have to say, dear. I love you. I hate being so far away from you. But I can't do anything from here. I'm drained. But please. If there's anything you need me to listen to. Please tell me."

"Alright." Crowley managed, "Something Ern said. What all those bloody humans said, about a terrible event. Meant to happen this year."

"Mm?"

"I just -the twins, Aziraphale. Anathema thought of Adam and Armageddon, when Ern told us about how something happened 25 years ago that started all this. But all I could think of was the girls."

"We shook heaven and hell, Lucifer and God herself." his husband nodded, "What - what are you - how are the twins connected though?"

"I don't know, Angel." Crowley managed, "But I - Our kids - I want to know they're safe and they're not going to be affected by all this."

I'll go back through the notes when Freddie’s in bed, dear." The angel nodded, "Where are you bound tomorrow?"

"Makokou airport." The demon replied, "In Gabon. That's the second big hub in Africa. Then off the coast north of Cairo."

Aziraphale nodded. He was trying to get Crowley to recite known things - things he was doing to help - to reduce his fixation on the problem, "Then?"

"Mini-hub in Belarus. 2 big ones in Russia. Then a mini-hub just north of Mongolia. One in China. Not looking forward to the second Russian one. Need my big coat for that."

"Mmhm."

"Far too close to the ring of fire for me too, after Vesuvius."

"I'm sure the Volcanoes will hold off just for you, Dear."

"And the one in China's in the bloody mountains! Hope that ones moved far enough away we can actually get to it."

"I hope so dear. Can't be good for Anathema either."

"No..." The demon worried at his lip, "Then Sulawesi. Flinders Ranges in Australia. We can't get easy access to the ones in the oceans so we're settling for checking on the Chilean one, off the West coast of Santiago. North of Lima. North Brazil. Arizona. Gulf of Alaska. Bloody Quebec of all places."

"But then you're home. Just Kinloch in Scotland after that." Aziraphale smiled.

"Angel we've got such a list to get through first."

"But any one of those places may need skipping if it's too hard to get there." Aziraphale replied, "I think the Russian North East may be beyond you both, at this time of year. Alaska too - Don't despair, my love."

"I miss you, Angel."

"I miss you too, dear. But you'll be back before you know it."

"I'll be lucky to get back before you pop the buttons off your waistcoat."

"You will be back, dear." the angel smiled.

"I will." the demon sighed.

"I'll take you to say goodnight to Freddie. Then you must rest, dear. Keep mind and body healthy."

"Wish I had your hand in my hair while you said that." Crowley sighed, "Go on then, Angel. Bring me back to Freddie, that I might wish my prince goodnight!"


	8. Chapter 8

Nothing went to plan. The hubs were shifting at different rates, some requiring multiple contacts of both Demon and Occultist to be drawn on as Anathema and Crowley tracked them down. Aziraphale worried each night over the data he was receiving, and over a particular suspicion he persuaded Newt to drive him and the children to Glastonbury. Armed with the maps, he and Marie climbed the Tor, checked and rechecked, and found nothing.

"Where's it gone?" Marie worried.

"I do wonder, my dear girl." The angel replied, "If we already know where it is. A powerful hub, all the lines reaching through it..."

"Tadfield." She managed, "It's gone to us." 

The girl was still churning thoughts in her head when her father bought them all ice cream in the town before they had to head home.

"So there's nothing at all?" Jennet asked as she booped ice cream onto Freddie's nose.

"A line running close, on it's way South East." The other girl replied, "That's it. It's gone to Tadfield, I'm sure, I need to tell mama."

"We will dear, we'll make a full report as she's been for us." Aziraphale told her.

"Daddy!" Freddie squeaked, "Let try!"

"Dear, you don't like mint choc chip."

"Try!"

"Oh, alright." The angel sighed.

"Bleh." was the response.

"You should listen to your Daddy." Jennet told him, "He's doing hard work and you're being silly."

"M'not silly!"

"No, you're not dear." Aziraphale sighed, "Just too much for a single celestial being to handle sometimes."

Freddie thought this over, "What do when babies?"

"I hope your father will be home by then!"

*

Aziraphale had been right about the far North. There was no chance of getting close to the Russian arctic circle site, or to the Mongolian mountains for that matter. Anathema shrugged it off on the plane ride to Australia, "We can triangulate data later. The more data points the better, but I have every intention of staying alive to see my daughters grow up safe."

"You know the Tsunami risks of Sulawesi?" Crowley snorted.

"I know the risk of earthquake, yes."

"The ring of fire ducks right down past the island. And there's Colo volcano in the middle of the gulf! 30 miles South East of where we were scouting for the damn hub only to find it's gone and shifted North!"

"There must be a reason." Anathema pondered, ignoring the demon's complaints, "Apart from Glastonbury and Lobamba every one of them has shifted due North or South. Where are they all going to end up?"

"Poles?" Crowley suggested.

"No, at least not all of them - not when the Nile Delta one was moving South, it was in the Northern hemisphere." She paused.

"Equator?"

"Poles and Equator." Anathema pursed her lips, "Could be on to something. But a change this epic. Crowley I think this is far beyond me."

They fell silent for a while. At length Crowley sprawled across 2 seats in the plane, while Anathema sat across the aisle with a case of papers and still clicking at the demons smartphone. The ticking of her elegant nails against the phone was almost, but not quite, entirely irritating.

"You're very good with that, considering your husbands... Abilities?"

"Hhmm?" She paused, still focussed on her earlier and unsettling thoughts, "Oh, that. I've trained him a little over the years. It only kicks in now if he thinks he's fixing something."

Crowley sat up enough to grin at her ,"Oh, well done, yeah. I tried teaching Aziraphale about cars once..." he sniffed dismissively, "I think we had very different perspectives."

"Talking of perspectives." the witch interrupted before he could become maudlin, "Should Australia really look like that?" she pointed to the window, and Crowley clambered up to lean over her.

"Looks fine to me."

"It looks like overcooked porridge."

"Nah, probably a trick of the light."

"And the penguins?"

"They have penguins in Australia, I saw David Attenborough with one."

"You know what I think?" The witch managed, chewing her lip.

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me."

"I think we're way off course."

"Let me guess, autopilot uses the earth's magnetic pull? ' Crowley sighed.

"I am with your husband on the vehicles front, love the travel, no idea how it all works. Of course if it were magic I could probably have a guess."

"Nevermind." Crowley started for the cockpit, where a click left nobody bothered about the intrusion or the Demon leaning over the pilot's shoulder.

"Well?" Anathema asked.

"I was expecting maybe a big red button saying 'Do not press under any circumstances.'" he admitted.

"Where actually are we?" Anathema asked.

"Looks like Antarctica." The Co-pilot answered without missing a beat, "But that puts us so far off course, how are we this far out? And have we got fuel to get back?"

"Don't worry about the fuel." Crowley told him, "Let me worry about that. Haven't you got satellites you can, I don't know, ping off to find out where you are?"

*

Aziraphale groaned, and pushed out his middle in an attempt to stretch his round ligaments. His back was twinging already, and he was barely 11 weeks yet! Another groan and he crumpled onto the sofa, defeated and just trying to get comfortable.

Freddie was with him just a moment later, "Daddy!"

"Yes dear...?" The angel managed, staring at the ceiling.

"Babis okay?" The boy asked. Aziraphale turned his head to find genuine concern on the toddler's face.

"I-I think so, Dear." he reassured the boy, "They're at least growing well enough that I'm uncomfortable."

Freddie nodded, and scrambled onto the sofa beside him, then up atop the Angel's tummy. He wiggled, "Soft, Daddy."

"I am that, Dear. Your father told me he rather likes me this way."

"I like soft." Freddie replied, beaming. Then he wriggled further, swinging his legs to scramble up to his chest. Aziraphale tensed, expecting pain, but instead the warm pressure of the boy's bare feet in his hip bones seemed to relieve it somewhat.

"Oh, stay there Freddie." He managed. The boy snuggled down. Then he put a hand to the angel's middle, low down, "Behave, Babis."

Aziraphale couldn't help but chuckle, "Oh Frederick. They're only growing, we want them to grow strong and healthy."

"An' not hurt Daddy." The boy told him. Aziraphale wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulders, "You're a good boy, Freddie. Such a comfort for your old dad."

*

"Yeah, I get why your Dad brought it home." Lucien was saying, "But did he have to display it in the town square?"

Samehra shrugged, "He said something about Ligur deserving to be remembered."

"I guess a symbol of what was wrong with the old regime."

"DinoSAAAAAAAUR." Ligris giggled, licking the skeleton's femur. She jammed her finger into a crevice there, and removed it to reveal a tiny frog.

"Anyway, it's good you got it now. Big changes going down on Earth, I have to tell everybody about it when we're sure everything's in place." Lucien continued, "I want to see Aziraphale and Crowley before it all goes down - And Jennet of course. Last time for a while, and I don't think she'll leave her human family now."

"That serious? That we won't see them for a while?"

"Mmmm. Michael and Bee are working flat out on it. Come on, I want to show you these plans."

"Pants!" Ligris squealed, and ran ahead of them. Three hellhounds scattered around the errant child as she ran in the direction of Lucien's home.

"Lead the way small one." Lucien laughed.

*

They had got the airplane back to Australia, with Crowley's help. As to why several experienced crewmembers had completely zoned out when their plane was miles off course? The travellers could only wonder. Focus on the wrong instruments? the shifts being so gradual it was only a matter of time before somebody went way off course? The growing worry that this was as Anathema had hinted, a matter from the beyond? Whatever was right, it was with trepidation that they stepped aboard the flight from Sydney to Santiago some days later.

Thankfully this crew and flight equipment seemed to have adjusted to the changes, and they arrived both safely and very gratefully.

"Always surprised me how many mountains you can fit into a country." Crowley chattered as they had a drink in their hotel room, "They seemed smaller back in the day, too."

"The earth forces them up, it's pressure from the trench where the plates meet." Anathema told him with a nod.

"Ehh... if you like. But, you've never met the Lic-Lickan-Licka- ancient tribes of Chile, have you?"

"No, can't say I have." Anathema humoured him. She was nicely drunk, warm and fuzzy and almost ready for sleep, and while this might have been a frightening position to be in for her otherwise, she felt safe in the presence of this ridiculous excuse for a demon.

"Yeah, well, they have legends." Crowley told her. Then he paused, "What are you staring for?"

"I'm tired." She smiled, lying back in her bed, "Keep talking. I like your stories."

"A-I-Ngk."

"You're a good friend, Crowley."

"Don't say-"

"Good?" The occultist snorted, "Maybe God made you fall because she knew you would care too much to let this world die, and she knew Aziraphale would need help to make him see sense..."

"Don't bring the almighty into this, book girl." Crowley replied, his mood flattening, "She doesn't deserve our good humour."

"She gave you back your daughter." came the murmur, "Did she have to?"

Crowley sighed, "You're drunk."

"M'not. You had more than me." But Anathema was half dozing already, and a few moments later, Crowley moved to her side, pulling the blankets over her, "Night book girl." He moved to the window, peering out onto the street. He had been surprised how like so many cities across the globe this corner of town was. He could have been staying in Birmingham if he hadn't known better (and wasn't easily able to read the signs) 

He took out his phone, typed "Miss you all." and went to his bed. He glanced at the bottle of wine, an inch or so in the bottom, and swigged it before pulling the covers over himself with a sigh.

*

Aziraphale looked at his phone as the message came through. He cradled it to his chest as if it might transfer that love to Crowley. He tried to picture the time - they were 5 hours behind GMT - and sighed, "What are you doing up at 1am dear?"

He might as well answer why he was lying in bed awake at 6am. Though that had more to do with backache, and the little boy who had joined him at 3am after a nightmare and refused to take his cold little feet off his middle.

Something was gnawing at Aziraphale.

Something other than the reports he kept getting, or the fact he couldn't quite make sense of what was going on.

Something beyond humans, Crowley had repeated to him. Something beyond human hands. What then? Celestial? God or Lucifer themselves?

Freddie shifted in his sleep, curling his toes and pinching the angel's skin.

Aziraphale reached down, disengaged his son's toes from his belly button, and pressed gently but firmly down on his own soft tummy.

As he suspected, there was already resistance there. He glanced to Freddie with a raised eyebrow but the boy remained asleep, sucking his thumb and cuddling tightly onto a stuffed snake plushie. Aziraphale had long since given up trying to prevent the thumb sucking; it caused too much crying for him to cope with. From both of them.

The angel texted, "We miss you too, dear." Then wrapped an arm around his son's shoulder, cuddling him close.


	9. Chapter 9

The closest point to the Santiago seabound hub was 140 miles North-West of Santiago, and after breakfast they packed up their belongings, camping gear, food and water that Crowley had acquired that morning into a hire car. Over three hours later they came to a stop at an exposed, rock and shale beach. The sea was rough, and they sat and ate, watching it, before they began work.

"If we're going to camp, I don't think we should be doing it here." Anathema told him.

"Nah." Crowley shook his head, "Might try and find somewhere tonight. Depends how far we get."

"Comfort?" The woman guessed.

"Don't want to be too near the shore or the mountains in an earthquake and volcano zone." The demon snorted.

"Thought you'd be right at home with hellfire." She teased.

"Demons and water don't mix." Crowley replied, "What if somebody blessed the Bloody Pacific!?"

"What, all of it?" Anathema chuckled.

"That's a lot of holy water." Crowley pressed.

"Would a blessing be that powerful?"

"I'm not going to find out."

"But Aziraphale-"

"Do you want to explain to my husband if we gave it a try and I wasn't Immune?"

"Point taken." Anathema replied, "How do you feel about submarines?"

"I'm not hiring one of them." Crowley replied, "Besides, sounds like a job for your husband."

"Goodness no." Anathema laughed, "Newt in a submarine? It would probably end up in space!"

Chill time over, they got to work. Again, little was there - and they continued to follow highway 5 North for 2 hours. At Tongoy, Crowley asked if Anathema wanted to carry on for the day.

"There's still daylight left..."

"Yeah? Okay." The demon sighed, "But I'm stopping in La Serena. I meant it when I said I don't feel safe this close to the ring of fire." 

*

"Well hello my dear boy, this is a wonderful surprise." Aziraphale beamed and hugged Alexas in the doorway before offering to make tea.

"Nah Dad, you sit, I'll make the tea."

Aziraphale wiggled his shoulders, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm that transparent?" Alexas chuckled, "Okay, okay. I want to search your library for books on the harmonica." he admitted, "It's for a role, my character sings, plays harmonica and drives this cool car."

"I didn't know your father was in a musical." Aziraphale beamed at his own joke. Alexas chuckled, "Anyway, there’s some notes on the harmonica I just can't hit and there's only a couple of weeks to opening, everybody just seems to ignore it but I can hear it's off!"

"I suppose it's your skills dear." Aziraphale replied, "You're inspirational, I suppose that's stronger than their senses because you're spending so much time with the team?"

"The troupe, Dad." Alexas laughed.

"Lexi?" Came an excited squeak from the living room.

"Hey Fred!" Alexas grinned, "How are you, young man?"

"Miss Dada." The boy told him.

"Yeah, I can understand that. Are you being good for Daddy though?" The young man asked as he knelt to the boy's level.

"Mm!"

"Really?" Alexas grinned.

"He's trying his best." Aziraphale smiled, "He's much better behaved than you were."

"Showing me up, eh?" Alexas laughed, sweeping the toddler up for a hug as they continued to the kitchen, "Hey you'll love this show I'm working on."

"He would." Aziraphale chuckled. 

"There's car chases and everything!" Alexas enthused to an enthralled Freddie.

"I say, sounds a little dangerous on stage." The angel told him.

"It's the magic of the theatre dad, we can't drive real cars around." He put Freddie in his toddler chair, "Tea, Fred?"

"Biscuits?" Freddie beamed hopefully.

" 'Course you can have biscuits." was the reply.

"Yay!"

Alexas continued to tell his brother about the songs he'd been learning, while making the tea. Aziraphale tried to work out how you had car chases without cars. His most practical idea was to wear a miniature car as a hat and chase each other. He chuckled as his older son passed a mug over.

"Share the joke, Dad!"

"It's nothing." Aziraphale replied with a grin, "You know where the biscuit barrel is, dear."

*

Alexas stayed overnight, and that meant Aziraphale got the night off from entertaining Freddie. Alexas took him out to the chip shop for tea, then the playground, and now they were practising the harmonica in the boy's room.

It was nice to relax and have some quiet, the angel smiled. He had the television on low, half watching a program on Shakespeare that failed to get anything right about the man himself, and half reading one of his older books that he had to keep well away from toddler fingers. 

He glanced up to realise his program had finished, and the news had started. The first item was something he hadn't expected to see though. His jaw dropped, and he put his book down, fumbling for his phone.

Crowley didn't take long to answer, "Angel? You okay?"

Aziraphale was fuming, "Crowley, what have I told you about upsetting ancient relics? Don't think I didn't see your hand."

"What? What the heaven you on about angel?" Crowley asked incredulously. Aziraphale paused for a moment before continuing.

"The Nazca lines. Don't think folk haven't noticed there's a few more than there used to be!"

"I haven't touched the bloody Nazca lines, Angel we're not even there yet-"

"Then why is there a unicorn now amongst them?"

"Unicorns were in Africa, why would I draw one in South America?"

"Because you're in South America?"

"Angel the lines aren't on the tour, and even if they were why would I add to them?" The demon sounded frustrated, and the angel inwardly cursed himself, "You honestly have nothing to do with this?"

"No."

"Right. Well. Sorry, then."

"Angel are you sure you're alright?"

"Oh dear..." The angel rested a hand on his middle, unsure how to broach his concerns, "I think maybe I need more sleep. I apologise dear."

"You need somebody to have Freddie or something?"

"Oh, Lex is here, he's looking after him upstairs. I should take them some hot chocolate really and head to bed myself."

"Lex, eh? They'll be up half the night singing."

"I'll use Jennet's room if they're too much." The angel nodded, "I miss you dear."

"Yeah. Same." The demon's clipped reply suggested he was infact in company, "I'll let you get to bed Angel, goodnight."

"Goodnight dear."

"What was that about?" Anathema asked. They had travelled over 9 hours today, and they were both exhausted. Crowley had eventually found somewhere to stay in Antofagasta, and they were in the middle of their first proper meal all day.

"Angel's panicking I've been playing around with the Nazca lines." Crowley snorted, "He's tired, sounds stressed."

"Not long now." Anathema comforted, "One more continent, that's all."

"Yeah." The demon replied, playing with his phone, "One more. Just one more."

*

Two exhausting days of driving, and a border crossing later, they rolled into Nazca.

"You realise we won't see that much from the ground, right?" Anathema asked.

"It was on the way." Crowley growled, "And angel's worried about it, might as well see what's happening."

They had to set up the tent when they arrived. Everywhere was booked up, not just hotels, but back rooms and ironically perhaps, even the stables. Crowds of journalists, naturalists, scientists and youtubers addressed cameras or phones with concerns and speculations. The only reason they got a space for the tent was that Anathema seemed to be the buxom bartender who owned the land’s type.

This meant that a small demonic miracle was required to get them a ride on a little plane with some scientists who were on their way out to the location of the 'unicorn'. It was massive, 200metres long and rising from a dried up river bed. Crowley eyed it suspiciously.

"The surveillance suggests there was a vague shape here previously, but nothing else." One scientist was explaining, "The lines are, as we saw yesterday, drawn into the surface, so they appear new, but they test old, as old as the other lines."

"Could it be related to..?" Anathema whispered.

"It would have to be bending more than Earth's power lines to do it." Crowley managed, "But time and space was bent as much when Armageddon approached. I can't rule anything out."

"We should find out what we can and move on as quickly as possible." Anathema replied, "If only I could find some hint as to what's going on."

"I don't think anybody's going to find out anything here." Crowley told her, "And it's another 7 hour drive to Lima. I say we carry on."

"Why a unicorn anyway?" One of the scientists was saying.

"To mess with me..." Crowley murmured, tailing off, "Wait a minute."

"What?"

"Let me think this over." He told her, "I'll tell you when we're back in the car."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter for the season. Its been a rubbish year and I know a lot of folks won't be having the season they were hoping for.  
> If you're having a hard time today, or tomorrow or in the coming days, come talk to me. I'll do whatever I can, though most of the time I'm just good at listening.  
> If you're working today, i hope you have a good day. And I hope you all have a day thats peaceful, calm and full of things and people you love, in a safe and well way.  
> Love you all 💖

Aziraphale woke in the late afternoon. The house was quiet, and he panicked briefly, "Frederick?" Curse his exhaustion when carrying the children! He struggled from the sofa, wishing Crowley were back for the umpteenth time. He checked the kitchen, the library, checked the doors were still locked, and then made his way upstairs. Freddie was asleep on his Dad's bed, snuggled up.

Aziraphale decided he was going to make them both sandwiches and let the boy watch his Neflix or whatever it was, when he woke. For now he settled in next to him, with a flask of tea and a slice of cake, and huddled down to read, an arm around his boy. He was sucking his thumb again. Aziraphale chose to ignore that.

Such was his tiredness that the angel didn't notice himself falling asleep again. Nor his phone ringing. As least until Freddie squealed, "Dada!"

"Hey son, your dad around?" Crowley beamed at Freddie's grin which almost filled the screen. They were back in the hire car, heading up 1S to Lima.

"Oh, Crowley dear." Aziraphale reached for Freddie to put the phone in his hand, stared at it a moment, and with a click he got the visual on the TV, the phone balanced on the shelf below so Crowley had a better view of them both.

"Dada!" Squealed Freddie again, "Dada we listened to Kin Kinson today!"

"You did?" Crowley blinked, "That's heavy stuff son, how did you get your dad to agree to that?"

"He didn't give me the chance." Aziraphale chuckled, "Freddie knows what he wants to listen to."

"He's gunna be on Pink Floyd before you know it." Crowley grinned proudly.

"And then Pokemon tunes." Anathema added.

"Dance games!" Freddie cried, gazing at Aziraphale, "Da, is dance games?"

"I wouldn't know. Your brother may but I'm sure you would like them." The angel told him.

"Anyway Angel." Crowley said, "Freddie give us a minute."

"Kay Dada!" The boy distracted himself bouncing on the bed.

"What's the matter dear?" Aziraphale worried.

"Been to see the Unicorn Angel." The demon replied.

"Oh..."

" 'Cos it wasn't me, and it definitely wasn't there a few days ago."

"We think it ties into the Ley Lines." Anathema added, "But we're concerned. As we were told in Africa, things are happening this year because they were meant to happen this year. But why should it all wait this long - 25 years - if it's related to the Apocalypse that wasn't?"

"What's 25 years though, Dear?" Aziraphale asked, "There were Millennia between the flood and the Apocalypse. That’s nothing to Celestials."

"Yes, I've noticed." Anathema nodded, "So we had a thought. 25 years was nothing to Celestials, but this can only be a power above mankind's actions. So, what made Celestials take notice of human years?"

"The children." Aziraphale's mouth felt dry, "Frederick, please stop bouncing a moment."

The boy bounced into his dad's lap, and the angel hugged him tight, "Please, Dear."

"It all just keeps coming back to the kids. Not just ours - though ours were some ssort of catalyssst for all this -" Crowley hissed, "Until we had the twins we didn't count yearssss."

"Then we should be speaking to - to above?" Aziraphale managed.

"I think so. But Angel -" Crowley managed.

"Yes dear?"

"Don't you dare try and do it yourself in your condition. We'll do this together, when I get home."

"Dear I-"

"You're stressed, you have low energy and you can't go full Beast of Tadfield, nobody knows what it would do to the kid. I mean it Aziraphale, wait for me to get home."

The angel huffed.

"Freddie?"

"Dada?"

"Make Daddy promise not to contact above until I get home."

Freddie turned his gold eyes on the angel, "Daddy?"

Aziraphale bit his lip, "Frederick..." He glanced back up, "Crowley this is important!"

"And still moving slowly. We'll finish up as quickly as possible - should be 2 days to the Peru hub and we're getting better at predicting which way they're going before we get there."

"Crowley..."

"Angel, you try calling herself again and you'll just get the answer machine, do you want to be discorporated? Remember last time?"

"I remember." He dropped his head, "Crowley the children-"

"Will be safe until I get back at least." the demon replied, "Six places left Angel - 2 of which might not even be accessible - then we're home."

Aziraphale nodded, "I won't try anything."

"Promise?"

"Pomis, Daddy?" Freddie joined in. Aziraphale stroked the toddler's soft red hair, "I promise."

"Call you properly later Angel." Crowley managed, "Later, yeah?"

"Layer Dada!" Freddie squealed, bouncing away from the Angel. Anathema frowned, but Crowley's eyes were on the road.

"Talk to you later, Dear."

"Bye Dada!"

"Bye Sunshine, Angel." Crowley thumbed the phone off, but still looked tense. Anathema paused before she said, "You must have ruffled his feathers."

"No shit."

"I mean, he hadn't even got that waistcoat done up."

"Oh Angel..." Crowley sighed.

"You are going to have a good chat with him later, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Ngk. Don't pry."

"I wasn't going to. I was just wondering if maybe our daughter could be of some help?"

*

It didn't take much setting up. Crowley was wary of letting Jennet anywhere near the Celestial plane without an escort, but the girl herself was fully in favour, "I can just speak to Luci and Sam!" She smiled, "I'll come back as soon as I can."

"Stay as long as you need to, but don't miss school." Anathema told her, "You know your father isn't a convincing liar, and Marie will be jealous."

"But Marie got to do all the work so far Mama." Jennet replied, "I want to help!"

Finally, all parties agreed that this was the best thing to do, and the girl was set up to travel on Friday night, possibly staying overnight if she was tired.

Spouses and children spoken to, they both fell into an uneasy sleep, and woke in the morning with an impending sense of urgency. Despite Crowley having spoken to Aziraphale again and tried to soothe his worries, he was still concerned for his husband. He looked tired all the time, and though the magic 3 month line was finally behind them, Crowley was still fretting that all wasn't well.

They made it to the mountain road where the next hub was supposed to be in a couple of hours, but as predicted, it was travelling North towards the Equator.

"The thing is though." Anathema said, "It's too slow. It's accelerating but it's too slow to be lining up this year. Maybe we have more time than we thought to work this out."

"I should tell Angel that bit." Crowley sighed.

"Just drop him a message. He needs to rest." Anathema told him, "And we need to get back to Lima. Same place as last night?"

"Mmm." Crowley nodded, "And tickets just became available to Manaus, state of Amazonas, tomorrow I believe.”

"You must be an excellent date." Anathema snorted, "I can see why Aziraphale is so spoilt."

"He was perfectly capable of corrupting himself." Crowley snorted in reply, "So I indulged him a few times."

"An unlikely five times at least." Laughed the woman. Crowley threw a rolled up ball of foil at her from their lunch wrapping.

*

Friday night came. Marie and Newt had stayed a little after Jennet had been prepared and sent off into the vast above, partially to distract Freddie and wear him out a little, and partially because Newt had been a little in shock, not really having seen his daughter's wings since she threw a tantrum at parent and toddler playgroup and brought them out to cover herself up in a corner while she cried. Thankfully the group leader hadn't seen them come out, and Marie had been there to calm her sister down before either adult had been able to intervene.

As a teenager, the girl's wings were already fully formed, and glowed with all the angelic light she was made from. Even her sister hadn't seen them in a while, and patted them gently as the girl hugged her, "I'll be back soon!"

Seeing them now, properly, not in the heat of war, Aziraphale felt a little glimmer of pride that they had all the sleek shine of Crowley's wings. She obviously had been preening them, even if it was only in private.

She hugged him last, "I'll be fine Uncle Zira." then she giggled, patting his middle, "You have enough to do looking after this one, as well as Freddie!"

Then she was gone, a flash of white, her true form briefly visible to Aziraphale as she pushed her way through the layers that separated the celestial plane from the human one.

Eventually the angel was alone with his son again, having put wards on the garden marking it out and ensuring that this would be a safe place for the girl to land when she returned.

He was considering putting Freddie to bed when there was a knock at the door.

"What in the-" He struggled up and checked the peep hole. With a frown he opened the door immediately, "Harriet my Dear, what is the matter that you're here at this time of night?"

"Sorry for the intrusion, really." Harriet managed, "I know it's late, do you think I might have a word?"

"Of course, please come in, would you like a drink?"

"Oh no I couldn't, it's just a quick word. I've been trying to work up the nerve to ask for a while and just found myself here tonight."

Aziraphale frowned at her, and waved her ahead of him into the living room.

"Haiiet!" Freddie squeaked, bouncing on the sofa.

"Hello young man. How tall you're getting!" The woman beamed, "Oh Azira, he does look like Anthony!"

"He does. He's quite the comfort at present. Except at bedtime. Or when told No." The angel replied.

"Do you... know when he'll be back?"

"A few weeks if all goes well." The angel replied, head bowed a little.

"Oh there's no need to look like that, is there?"

"Well. I am conscious of the fact I'm no longer able to keep this a secret." The angel indicated his waistcoat, unbuttoned again, "I didn't envisage him missing this."

"I'm sorry Azira." The woman offered her arms, and after a moments thought the angel allowed himself to be hugged tightly, "I didn't even think about that. You both take such pride in your - work - I suppose this is work?"

Aziraphale managed a chuckle, "Of a sort."

"Me hug!" Freddie yelled suddenly, launching himself from the sofa. It was only in the nick of time that Aziraphale wriggled loose of Harriet's grip and caught him, "Frederick, really! You could have been hurt!"

"No?" Freddie grinned, and wriggled free to run to his toybox.

"He's Alexas mark 2 for sure."

"Another astounding observation." Aziraphale held his back as he straightened, "What was it you wanted to talk about, Dear? I must put him to bed soon."

"Oh! I..." She took his arm to help him to a chair and sit beside him, "It's a little embarrassing. I... I have been out on the 'scene' again you see..."

"Oh?" Aziraphale didn't see, but he nodded and hoped it looked like he understood. Harriet was a wonderful human and he held her friendship dear, but she was far more Crowley's type of friend.

"The dating scene." She explained, reading his expression correctly.

"Oh!"

"And I... I wanted you both to meet the person I've been seeing. Warlock has met... her."

“Oh how marvellous, we'd be delighted, of course. Although best to wait until Crowley returns. I shall bake for us, I have a book all about romantic cakes…” he tailed off, catching Harriet's expression. “Ah, you're worried about..?” he glanced down at his middle.

“No!” Harriet replied quickly, “Not that at all, its because... I'm afraid it would be very obvious that I have a type."

"Type?"

"Red heads in black leather." She managed.

"Oh!" The penny dropped, "I'm sure Crowley will see the funny side of it."

"Are you sure? I didn't want it to be weird. I'm so happy with Kellie, and I want all the friends I've made here to meet her. But starting with you two."

"I am so pleased for you." Aziraphale beamed, "And I am overjoyed to have been asked."

"Thank you." Harriet matched his smile, tears in her eyes, "I hoped you both would be, you've been so good to me. I'll message in a couple of weeks, hopefully Anthony will be back then and we can arrange something."

“Oh!” Aziraphale thought suddenly as the woman made to stand, “Is Miss Kellie a secret? Or should I tell Crowley?”

“You can keep secrets from him?” Harriet seemed sceptical.

“Daddy’s no’ telling dad ‘bout wstcoat.” Freddie interjected.

“I think it must be bedtime, Frederick dear.” Aziraphale said quickly.


	11. Chapter 11

Jennet landed with as much ceremony as she could. She hadn't expected the Dinosaur in the town square, after all!

A little scuffed but on her feet at least, she tucked her wings away and stretched, moving purposefully towards the little house with the clock above the door. As she passed a bar she heard an Angel ponder, "But why aren't the children virtues?"

"Because they're a mix, like genetics?" Replied their drinking partner.

"I thought we made genetics up to keep the atheists busy?" snorted a Demon who must have existed pre-fall, "You may as well ask why they're not sins!!"

"Oh don't start." Snorted a second demon, "You'll start Jeff on his rant that sons are a spelling error!"

The girl continued hurriedly. Life on earth had taught her not to be the topic of conversation of the type of human who sat outside bars getting inebriated, and she wasn't taking a risk with celestial bars and beings. She really didn't fancy drawing that flaming sword again. So she moved with a little more energy, made her stride purposeful, made herself appear expected somewhere.

When did she stop thinking of the Heavens as the 'good' place, she wondered? Was it when she was summoned, a child, against her will to fight a war? Was it when she speared Samehra, lest she be hurt herself? Was it when she remembered, finally, who she was?

Or was it when she became old enough to recognise mixing the 'good' and 'bad' places would inevitably make another place like earth - good and bad intentioned? Her mother had warned her and her sister of the evils of the world to a woman, after all...

It was getting dark, something that Angels had never dealt with before the mixing - and she was glad when soft street lights came on automatically. Not a dark corner existed, and was that Uriel's marker in the sky, her eyes on this world tonight? Lucien had explained last time she was here about having to set rules and limitations to help the mixing, and to enforce them a small number of high-ranking angels and demons had been recruited to watch over this place and be sure fair behaviour was observed.

“Yeah, you remember… that thing on the battlefield.”

Jennet paused near a window.

“Freaking destroyer from beyond! Scared me half to discorporation!”

“Yeah? I thought it was gunna wipe the slate clean. But it wasn’t from beyond.”

“No?”

“No… It was that thing from earth, the one what thwarted Armageddon?”

Jennet froze, eyes wide.

“Heard that was an Angel once.”

“Pfft. Hey, shut the window if you’re gunna talk about that thing, will ya? The boss doesn’t seem keen on the thought of it.”

When the window shut the young angel paused just a few moments longer before continuing. She wished it felt safer, but growing up on Earth gave her a whole other perspective on that idea, despite understanding the need to coax both sides to a neutral set of behaviours, not harmful to the other members of the plane.

She felt Lucien's presence before she saw him. As he got older his handle on the powers he was given got stronger, though he was level headed enough to remain as human at least as he had been on Earth.

Jennet wondered if this would ever change. Maybe he should come and visit some time soon.

The door opened. The lad beamed, "Jennet! You didn't call!"

"Your reception is rubbish." She told him, "I have to ask some things. About Earth. And it's dark out, can I stay tonight?"

"Sure! We can have a sleepover!" The lad beamed, "I had to come and see you soon anyway."

*

Crowley was struggling in his sleep. He dreamed of distantly hearing Freddie crying, of travelling in a panic to find Aziraphale passed out in bed, pale and limp and oblivious to their son pulling at him. He made to grab his husband, but his body was stone cold. Crowley awoke, unable to turn his eyes back to their son at this revelation.

Anathema was peering into his bedroom in the tent, frowning. The light she held was blinding as it crossed his face, and seeing his response she moved it, "You alright?"

"Yeah, I uh, I gotta make a call." He managed, and flew up and from the tent.

"Remember there's dangerous things out there!" Yelled Paulo, an Eric-like disposable demon Crowley had made the connection with to take them into the remains of the rainforest to their next destination. He seemed nice apart from the occasional eating bugs or snarling at rodents, but Anathema knew well enough not to tell him that.

Crowley stopped as he dialled.

"It's 5am there." He sighed. He returned to the canopy of the tent, shutting himself in the fly-proof entrance, and sat down on the floor a moment, head in hands.

This would take some doing, he sighed, before concentrating hard.

Europe.

UK.

South East.

South Downs.

Tadfield.

A little cottage marked out to friendly beings in the know - that must be for Jennet, he realised.

He cast around. He intended to appear on a screen somewhere, rather than exert the effort to travel, but Aziraphale's phone was nowhere near him, as usual. The TV was off, the living room was dark, the whole downstairs was.

Then his mind alighted on the possibility from his dream. And searching around for lives in the house, a possibility of how he could see his husband.

"Oh no."

Much as it irked him, it got him access to Freddie's room, where he was relieved to find Aziraphale and Freddie in the rocking chair. The angel was humming as Freddie concentrated hard, trying to read that big old Winnie the pooh book that had long ago lost its dust cover. The boy's eyes were red - he must have had a nightmare too or something. Weird.

Crowley watched, heart melting. Aziraphale was fine. He murmured to Freddie when he struggled with a word, kissed his forehead, passed him a warm drink to finish. And when the toddler finally stretched, too far gone to concentrate on his dream anymore, the angel returned the book to the shelf and lowered the light, standing in the moonlight in the pretty little bay window and swaying, singing until Freddie was asleep.

Tucked in and kissed goodnight, Aziraphale picked up a blanket from the window seat, and huddled happily in the rocking chair, as if keeping watch over the boy.

Crowley shifted closer. That was when Aziraphale's eyes finally saw the movement in the dark corner, "Good grief, how did you get out of my hat?!"

Crowley heard Harry's squeak as he was lifted, his delicate paws rubbed gently, Aziraphale returned him to their room. Before he could find out exactly what other universe was in Aziraphale's magicians hat though, he managed, "Angel!"

Aziraphale nearly dropped Harry.

"Angel, Angel be careful!" Crowley squeaked.

"Crowley!" The Angel held the rabbit at arm's length, "No shocks Crowley, please, I'm pregnant remember?!"

Crowley felt Harry's nose twitch and shook himself. The angel brought him to his chest gently, sitting back on his bed, "What do I owe this possession of my Oryctolagus to?"

"Rabbit, Angel, he's a bloody rabbit, and I'm worried about you of course, you daft angel."

"I am perfectly alright Crowley, If I've given you any reason for concern I-"

Crowley found himself snuggling up to his husband, the distant sensations prickling at his skin across the globe, "Had a nightmare, Angel."

"Oh, you're as bad as young Frederick." The angel replied warmly, "What was yours about?"

"You were just... in bed and cold and Freddie was alone here. You were gone."

"You've had that one before, Crowley dear."

"I know, I just-"

"It's not a vision, my dear boy. They never have been." Aziraphale ran his hand gently but firmly over Harry's head and ears. Crowley's body shivered distantly at the feel of much missed fingers in his hair.

"I mean really, when was the last time you dreamt something that came true?" The angel finished.

"Angel." Crowley nuzzled at him, "Haven't got long here."

"I'm not kissing you."

"No fair! You de-flea'd him and everything!"

"Doesn't mean I'm happy kissing him, Dear." Aziraphale lifted him gently, looking him in the eye - the left eye, this vision was so weird, Crowley concluded. At least as a snake he had some vision above and in front of him.

"Brings a whole new meaning to pulling one out of a hat." the demon chuckled, the fright leaving him just seeing his husband safe and well and in his bathrobe-

"Couple of weeks Angel. Three at most. Keep out of trouble, okay?"

Aziraphale smiled wryly, "I could say the same my dear. Come home safe."

The demon was so surprised by the kiss his got on the muzzle that he let go of Harry, and 'awoke' blinking in the little tent light from inside.

"Damnit Angel." He texted.

*

"Come on, you have to tell me something." Jennet sulked as she sat on the wall the following morning.

"It's all super hush hush." Lucien told her, "Even I didn't know about it for the longest time. Took ages to get the paperwork done and to start moving stuff apparently."

"So you're just going to let us all worry about it?" The girl was annoyed, "How long for? Daddy is expecting again, he doesn't need the stress, and Dad is off trying to work it all out with my mama, they've been gone months! Months of mama's life we'll never get back, and now we find out it's all just the great bloody plan?"

"You sound like your Dad when you're angry." Lucien smiled thinly.

Jennet slid to her feet, "I'm tired. I came here to help my parents - all of them - and you don't want to help at all. So I might as well go home."

"Jennet." Lucien said suddenly, "If I could tell you anything I would, I swear. It's just all so - it's got to be in place and working. And has to be activated at the right time. Dependant on things that haven't happened yet, I'm told. This is all prep work."

"Pfft." Jennet replied, taking a step away.

"I can tell you though." Lucien said. Jennet stopped and turned to glance at him.

"It's not dangerous. Not at all." He said.

"Cool. Well thanks for taking all night to loose that nugget of information." She told him.

"It's something wonderful!"

"Don't you quote Arthur C. Clarke at me." Jennet told him.

"Aww." Lucien grinned, "I just always wanted to say that."

"And now you have." She replied flatly.

"Are you going to say bye at least?" He asked.

"Nope. I'm still annoyed with you." She sighed, "Next time, Lucien."

She was off into the sky in a second. Lucien sighed, "I hope next time won't be 25 more years."

*

The next exchange of information was quick, at least.

"Uncle Crowley, Mama. Lucien can't tell me anything. But he said it won't be dangerous."

"To who?" Anathema worried.

"He just said not Dangerous, Mama." She replied, "I think he meant to anybody."

There was a moment for the two to digest this information.

"Is it worth us carrying on?" Crowley asked.

"I say so." Anathema replied, "We have 4 stops left - potentially 3 dependant on the weather - and I think we should complete our data in case we can work anything out."

"What has happened with the Brazilian hub?" Aziraphale asked.

"It's in place." Anathema replied, "It was already Equatorial and it's stayed put."

"Fits the pattern anyway." Marie nodded, "Mama, you'll be home soon right?"

"Couple of weeks." The woman smiled, "I'll let you know when we touch down in Inverness and again before we get on the flight to Heathrow."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early post today because I have something else to share tomorrow, and also we've just been told we're going up in the UK tier system so I'm feeling rotten. What a way to enter 2021 😭

The next few weeks were to crawl by for all involved. A couple of weeks after Jennet’s trip upstairs, while his husband was in Quebec, Aziraphale had been out to London as Adam had suggested. He had dropped Freddie with Adam and Eva, taken the train into the city, bought a ticket to see Alexas's latest work, and arranged to stay with his oldest children tonight. He had lunch at his old bookshop, still doing well as a coffee shop, and rummaged happily through the second-hand books in the upstairs room. He touched the marble pillars with affection on his way out. Then he visited a couple of old haunts that were in new hands now.

He was getting settled in the theatre when the lights went down, and a sudden, unnatural silence prevailed.

"You made it Dad!" Alexas stood at the edge of the stage, gazing up at him in the box. The angel glanced around at the still, silent theatre, "Did you... do this?"

"I don't do it often." The boy grinned, "What do you think?"

"The sunglasses are very much your father."

Alexas' beaming smile met him. Then he paused, "No Freddie?"

"No dear. It will end too late and keeping him quiet is a problem."

"Aww. I'll have to get him a copy of the filmed version." The lad chuckled, "Anyway. Enjoy the Blues brothers Dad."

"I'm sure I will."

The instant the boy ducked behind the curtain, the crowd noise started back up. Aziraphale gazed around him, a little stunned by how easily Alexas seemed to tap into the power that exhausted his father. This was easily washed away by the production though, Alexas playing blues brother Elwood, tall and a little bit cheeky, completely in sync with the actor playing his 'brother' Jake, and finally, completely in tune with his harmonica.

The Angel hadn't been sure he would enjoy this one, even when he told his son he would, but despite expectations he did. At the point they began to sing one song though, A song that went, 'Everybody, needs somebody...' the angel froze for a moment. A memory flittered through of a meeting in the 80s, a careful meeting in a record shop. This song was playing, and Crowley had distinctly told him what he was buying was the LP.

Tears formed in his eyes, and he sat back a moment, a hormonal whirlwind in his head.

"A week. At most." He murmured, dabbing at his tears with a handkerchief, "Just a week."

He stayed put when the lights came up, and a little miracle ensured none of the staff came to clear him out. So it was Alexas who put his head around the box curtain and found his dad still struggling to contain his emotions nearly an hour after the show.

"Dad?" He slid into the miraculously empty seat beside him, "Dad, it wasn't that bad-"

"No, No dear, it wasn't, not at all-" The angel managed, looking away so as not to show off his reddened eyes, "I-I just miss your father so much, and I'm not quite myself right now, and I - I didn't want him to miss this - any of this - he should be here, that's all." He wrung at his hands, not having worn the waistcoat today and so lacking a major stress relief for himself, "I'm sorry if you got the- the wrong impression dear-"

"Hey Dad." Alexas stood in front of him, turning the angel's face to meet his own, "It's alright." He grinned, but instead of his excited smile it was shut-lipped, a sympathetic smile, "I know."

"I'm s-sorry dear."

"It's okay Dad. I promise." Alexas kept smiling, "Come on. I'll drive you back to the flat, Ari and Li said we could order take away from this Thai place we know, I promise you it'll be amazing, and you'll feel much better with family."

He reached out and Aziraphale took his hand, "Of course my dear. I know." He stood with effort.

"Gotta feed the next muse too." The lad grinned, more himself now they were about to step from the private corner, "We'll look after you, dad."

*

Crowley and Anathema tried not to look too exhausted and bedraggled as they got off the plane. Quebec and Inverness had after all been pretty cushy compared to sleeping in a tent in the rainforest. Crowley miracled their luggage into the cars so they didn't have to wait, and they had a speedy trip through customs.

It was raining outside the big windows.

"Bloody typical." Crowley snorted, "Wasn't even raining in the rainforest."

"Mama!" Came a chorus suddenly. The two teenage girls who dived Anathema were squealing and crying. Jennet at least gave him a grin too as Newt came to join the hug.

"I'll... see you back there then." Crowley said quietly, feeling a little bewildered and wishing distantly that he'd got that reception-

"Dada!" Came the excitable squeal. He glanced up to a set of seats that looked far more comfortable than they had any right being in an airport, and focussed on the red headed toddler pelting towards him squealing, "Dada! Dada!"

"Freddie!" He managed to choke out as he swept the boy up, "You're here!" His eyes had focussed beyond the boy though, onto the angel who was just managing to stand. His attention was immediately grabbed by his husband's waist. He drew a sharp hiss of breath as his mind carved out its suppositions and whittled away at his concept of time. He watched Aziraphale's smile begin to falter and said the first thing his lips moved around.

"Did you put that jumper on too hot a wash?"

Aziraphale blinked, looked down at himself and back to Crowley. It was all the time the demon needed to orient himself. He grinned his broadest, most dangerous grin as he strode forward and enveloped his husband and son in a hug, "Honestly Angel, I turn my back for two minutes..."

"I-I rather think it would be hard to put this here with your back turned, dear." The angel replied.

"Bit late to find out, but I'm happy to try." Crowley sniggered back.

"Dear!" The angel rolled his eyes to the red head clinging to Crowley's neck, "Not around Freddie."

The demon forgot himself, planting a kiss on his son's head and pulling the Angel closer to try and kiss him. With Freddie between them the furthest he could reach was his husband's nose. Aziraphale began to laugh, "Really dear, that's a novel way to say hello..."

"You wait until I get Freddie in his car seat."

"Actually dear, I thought you might be tired, so I booked us a hotel tonight. We can go home, together, slowly, tomorrow. If that's alright?"

"Anywhere Angel, so long as I'm with you."

*

Once they were all fed and Freddie was cuddled into contented sleep in their hotel room, Crowley joined Aziraphale on the bed. His hands immediately made to familiarise himself with his Angel's middle, so much so that Aziraphale asked, "Would you like to take my shirt off dear? It seems to be in your way."

"I've been gone so long, Angel..." He whined.

"I wouldn't call 35 video calls, 5 phone calls, 2 out of body transmissions and whatever you're doing down there being gone."

"You know what I mean."

Aziraphale's hands joined his and worked on the buttons of his shirt. He giggled, "I'm so glad you're home."

"Oh I like the sound of that." Crowley grinned, "Being glad I'm home."

"The en-suite sink is blocked..." Aziraphale teased, only to yelp as cold fingers found his warm waist.

"It can wait"

"The apple tree has..."

"It can wait."

"The buttons... the buttons... I..." Aziraphale trailed off as Crowley's mouth found its mark, "Ooh, oh, it can wait."

"Mmhm." His husband chuckled as he kissed gently across the little bump, hands so delicately wrapped around the angel's sides that he could do nothing but keen gently at the contact.

*

In the early hours Crowley woke as Aziraphale shifted. Off to the facilities, of course.

When he returned though he rolled over, holding Crowley close. The demon let himself relax back into the hug. Aziraphale made another little keening sound, nuzzled at his neck. Then his breath caught and Crowley recognised the sniffle.

"'Ziraphale?"

"Oh, I-sorry-dear did I-?" He sniffled.

"Nah." Crowley rolled, holding him in return, "Hormones?"

"I missed you." the angel murmured, "Freddie is a good boy, but he is hard to occupy when we don't share music tastes."

"I'm sure you did amazingly." Crowley said, "He seems so happy."

Aziraphale paused, "And then this." He held his stomach, "I wasn't expecting-"

Crowley chuckled, "That's just the point, you are expecting, I didn't expect them to hold off just so I could watch that waistcoat pop open."

Aziraphale looked down a moment, "It's - it's strange Crowley. He is very insistent about it being a multiple birth, still." the angel nodded at Freddie, "And the power of emotions I'm getting Crowley... he might be right. I have been swayed by the smallest things..."

"So the almighty wants the muse quota filled too, eh?" Crowley quipped.

Aziraphale blushed, "Perhaps... if it is... we may just be more prone to them. Who knows, it's a new frontier for all of us."

"We have enough love for multiples." Crowley reached to hold his husband's cheeks gently, "It's you I'm worried about, can you cope with the labour yet again?"

"I'm sure I can, I'm tougher than I look." The angel brushed this question off.

"You look like a trifle." Crowley teased. Aziraphale pouted, "Even custard can have a thick skin, Dear."

"We'll deal with it when we find out." The demon murmured, "In the meantime..." He pulled the Angel closer into his arms, "No more tears over me, okay? I'm right here. I'm home."

Soft arms held him tightly, "You're home." The angel repeated, with happy tears this time.


	13. Chapter 13

Crowley had been home for maybe a week when it happened. He and Freddie had been having a little rave with the boom-box in the garden, while Aziraphale studied the triangulation reports Marie and Anathema had dropped off the evening previously. Although the urgency was no longer there, he was still committed to some understanding of the phenomena that was occurring. At length he opened the window, "I can hear you both in here!"

"Dance paryy Daddy!" Freddie shrieked, "Blue Brother! Come dance!"

"Much as I would love to dearest, I'm not very steady on my feet anymore."

He moved away, shutting the window with a sigh. Perhaps he could put up with the bebop. It was making his husband and son happy. And it probably was time that he accepted Crowley's taste in--

He felt the kick and immediately registered it, not a soft touch like the twins or a wriggly flutter like Freddie, no, that was a definite foot, like Lex. Guardian strength, then. He sank back into his chair in shock at a nudge to the right, softer this time. Was that the potential other child responding to the force of their sibling?

"Daddy-" Freddie stopped in the doorway, dismayed at his Dad's shocked expression, "Daddy okay?"

"Oh. Oh, my dear. Yes it's... it's nothing, honestly." Best not let him know he could feel them. The boy had no sooner found out he would eventually be able to feel them, than he was demanding to try and wake them every morning... And he would be so upset if he couldn't when his father could!

Aziraphale bent slightly, lifting the boy. He wrapped his long legs around his dad's chest, hugging him tightly, "Daddy dance?"

"No dear. I can't do it at the moment, I'm rather... heavy footed and clumsy."

"After babis?" Freddie asked anxiously.

"After babies." Aziraphale reassured, "How about you get your father to put out the shade so I can sit at the table and watch you two dance?"

*

"We should go on holiday." Crowley said a few nights later.

"I thought you said you'd been far enough for this decade." Aziraphale replied, stroking his middle as he drank his tea and Freddie read to him (Well, Freddie said he was reading to 'babis' but it was as good a time as any to check his reading skills)

"I wasn't going to suggest we take him abroad or anything." The demon replied as he poured Freddie some warm milk, "Was thinking Bournemouth again."

"Ah, that would be nice." Aziraphale smiled.

"Mm, maybe try and get something last minute so we're back for the twins birthdays." Crowley raised an eyebrow, "Not going to be able to say that much longer without clarifying, am I?"

Freddie giggled, patting his dad's bump, "Babis!"

Crowley turned back to the stove, humming to himself. Freddie leaned forward slightly, still patting the angel's tummy, when his eyes widened at a movement which was probably meant to be a nudge rather than a full on slap.

"Daddy?"

Aziraphale met the boy's eyes, "Shhh." He nodded to Crowley, not wanting him to think he'd missed that too. The toddler seemed to understand, but discarded his book regardless, putting both hands on the bump and giggling.

"Babis." He repeated, beaming at another nudge.

*

Crowley, true to his word, had found them a holiday within a couple of weeks. On the morning they were due to drive down, Freddie was bouncing on the bed, singing a song that was apparently, clever boy, called holiday. Aziraphale wished he would stop but didn't have the heart to ask him. He was trying to decide if he had any clothes that fitted him. He probably should have done this yesterday, not the morning they were going to travel over.

"Oh dear." He worried as he struggled to fasten yet another shirt, "I haven't even worn this yet. I only bought it last month."

He sighed and sat hard on the bed. Freddie shrieked with joy at the resulting bounce.

"Maybe Crowley can order me something for delivery to the cottage." He held his forehead, "Oh Frederick, do you think you could sing something more gentle?"

"Cassical?" The boy asked.

"That would be nice."

"Feelin' Bo-lero."

"No! Dear, that's got a very heavy beat to it and I don't think I can cope with the little marchers."

Freddie stopped bouncing, considering, "Ac-arium!"

"Aquariu-ahh." Aziraphale held his side at a sharp thump from within, "Go on dear..."

The boy hopped into his lap, Aziraphale leaning back on the bed for him to sit as close as possible to his bump and sing to whoever was inside.

The noise he had made as he lay down was far from ladylike, and Crowley dashed into the room expecting trouble a moment later. He paused with a smile, watching the two. Freddie's speech wasn't always clear yet, but he could hold a tune perfectly. Perhaps that was why his speech wasn't yet amazing - despite his ability with sounds, his toddler brain was only able to cope with one of these things perfectly, the other lagging behind. It did mean he did a very good impression of a 3 year old human child though. At least as long as people didn't ask him about music.

Freddie finished his song at length and rolled off, "Gettin'strument."

Crowley smiled when he found his angel pulling faces behind the boy.

"Penny for your thoughts Angel?"

"I can't see my toes already."

"Have you tried lifting your foot?" Crowley grinned. Aziraphale ignored him.

"The point is, this is a very large bump already. For dates."

"If your going to panic about twins again..."

"Not a panic more a... Feeling. Like that first time when I could sense them but nothing made sense. I have it again, just a little."

"Two sets of thoughts, we didn't know with Ari and Li."

"Quite." Aziraphale lifted his leg and wiggled his toes experimentally.

Crowley shrugged, "Y' know I'm just gunna watch you even more closely now, right?"

"Very close?" Aziraphale beckoned him.

"Yeah, really very close." Crowley hopped into the bed and kissed his husband, one hand patting the shirt that had already been miracled a couple of times. The button popped open as he did.

"Oh, this is ridiculous." Aziraphale rolled his eyes irritably. Crowley leaned on his elbow, "Just miracle it."

"Oh Crowley, but this is the third time..."

"You have other clothes angel..."

Aziraphale huffed, tiny hormonal rage in full swing, "Sorry to be a hassle." He stripped off the shirt. Crowley handed him the T shirt Adam had once bought him, the one printed to look like his waistcoat and bow tie.

"Come on. We'll be late to pick up the keys."

The angel huffed again, fluffed out his hair and pulled the t shirt over his head.

"Hey, you wanted another." Crowley chuckled, "Two is a bonus!"

A pillow hit him and he made a swift retreat, catching his son in the doorway, "C'mon Freddie or you'll be hit next!"

The squealing child ran after his dad, leaving Aziraphale to cool off. Half an hour and some frustrated tears later, the demon returned to the bedroom to find him - or rather, her - zipping up her case.

"Did you...?"

"Miracles. Yes. Sorry about that."

"No worry. C'mon now, I packed a picnic for the beach. And that top looks lovely when you're sporting a bust."

*

They had a lovely (Even if Crowley did say so himself) picnic at Mudeford beach on the way there. Freddie paddled while they relaxed on the shore.

At length Aziraphale groaned and shuffled about in the sand groove she’d made for herself. The babies, as she was hard pressed to think of this as a singleton anymore, seemed to be practicing a square dance just below her ribs. Freddie had left the water and was dancing to the music inside his head, arms waving at a pace somewhere between conducting Strauss and directing Hong Kong traffic.

Crowley sat up from his nap as if he tasted the angel's discomfort on the breeze, "Angel? Everything okay?"

"Oh, I can't..." she started, only to gasp at another misplaced limb, "One of them, Crowley, one of them seems to have guardian strength, and sometimes - Ah! - Sometimes they're so very, very sharp with their heels."

"Just dancing, Daddy." Freddie assured them sweetly. He took Crowley's closest wrist, placing it on Aziraphale's middle, and paused. He stuck his tongue out as he concentrated before, with deliberate care, placing Crowley's hand on the very spot a limb was about to make contact. Crowley was grinning so proudly he didn't notice their son pirouette away, going back to his dance, "Angel..."

"Don't say it." Aziraphale huffed, "I know. I'm glad you're happy."

"I... I'm so sorry you're not." The demon managed, a little twitch in his chest where he presumed his heart had just realised this was not really fun for his (currently) wife.

"I am, Crowley..." Aziraphale sighed, "But when they wriggle this much..."

"Oh Angel..." Crowley held her gently, stroking the bump, "Hey, chill out in there, will you?"

"But dance time?" Freddie said, landing back in the sand before them on his knees.

"Think your Dad's had enough dancing for one day." Crowley told him. The boy frowned, "Why?"

"Frederick, dear boy." Aziraphale managed, beckoning him to her other side, "You know how your brother is very strong?"

"Mmhm." Freddie had watched Alexas carrying shopping, for one thing, and the young man had no qualms about rough games like throwing his brother into the air and catching him. Aziraphale had eventually stopped him when he became worried that throwing his beloved rainbow baby as high as the tree tops could end badly whether or not his brother caught him.

"At least one of the babies is, too." The angel continued, "And when they 'dance', they hurt."

"Your dad bruises easy when he's being beaten up from the inside." Crowley added.

Freddie looked distressed. He put a hand on the bump, "Stop it babies. No more dance."

The rough activity settled a little. Aziraphale gasped, "Did you do that, Frederick?"

"My dance paryy." The boy said, "Sorry."

"Oh son." the angel hugged him, "You didn't know." She hefted the child up on top of her, nuzzling his face with her nose. Freddie giggled, shaking his head in response. Crowley lay on his side, a hand on his son’s back, stopping him from falling off as his whole body moved with the exaggerated motion.

“You know what your Dad needs?” He grinned to the boy.

“Cake?” the child asked hopefully, immediately focussed on his father. Aziraphale beamed.

“Weeell, I was thinking of a lullaby first.”

Freddie didn't look convinced that his dad wouldn't prefer cake at any time, but started singing to his siblings anyway. Despite his struggle with speech, his voice was golden, and where he couldn’t pronounce words he made suitable vocal notes so it didn’t sound too off. It took his parents a little while to realise that the song was actually 'what about everything', but the twins didn't seem to care about the words, just the tone. It took only a couple of minutes before the hard kicking had ceased, and only a little ghost of activity, a dreamy back and forth movement, could be felt. 

“Oh, my dear boy, that's just perfect. Well done.” Aziraphale beamed.

“Cake now?”

“Pfft.” Crowley snorted, leaning behind him to grab the plastic box of cake, already cut into slices for the trip, “We’ll never get there at this rate!”

“Would that be so bad though?” Aziraphale managed. He eyed the plate, and the toddler who was already eating his piece where he was, using his dad’s stomach as a cushion, “We may have a problem, Dear.”

Crowley chuckled, and got a fork out of the basket, “Try not to choke if I’m going to feed you down there under our son.”


	14. Chapter 14

Given Aziraphale’s condition, Crowley had booked a different holiday home this time, closer the shore. This had the immediate effect of shuffling them down the coast slightly towards Sandbanks, where everything was more expensive, but the beaches were less given to unexpected pebble patches. 

After they had unpacked the car, and without even time for a cup of tea, the two were dragged back across the road to this new beach. Crowley at least thought to bring the beach umbrella so Aziraphale could rest and read under it though. The sun was blisteringly hot, and though neither of them were susceptible, Crowley had slathered their wriggly, excited child in sun cream even as he ran screaming down the sand towards the water.

Aziraphale took a deep breath and relaxed onto the warm sand. At length she snapped a few pictures of Crowley as he paddled at the water’s edge with Freddie. The boy was his father's son, tall with hip joints only seemingly loosely connected to his pelvis (though thankfully Crowley’s walk had so far eluded him) and that was before they got as far as the long red hair and golden eyes. At least he was rounded out by a bit of muscle and a rounded face, with dimples in his cheeks. She knew some of this was natural pride in all of her children, and some was definitely an inflated sense of love and preciousness as a consequence of Freddie’s predecessor, but she didn’t mind. Now she was no longer the only source of Freddie’s care for the most part, she had gone straight back to loving and appreciating the little monster as much as was angelically possible. 

Freddie spun on the spot suddenly, stomping his feet in the surf with far better balance than the angel thought possible. He seemed to dance constantly, his legs and arms keeping him upright despite what bizarre moves he was managing.

Crowley was jigging about in dad fashion beside him, cackling with glee. They might have been shouting song lyrics at each other, but the waves and wind took the sound from the picture. Then Freddie turned his way, and he caught the faint squeal, “Daddy! Daddy come swim!”

Aziraphale blushed. She felt like she was falling out of the swimming costume, or maybe on the verge of splitting it every time a twin wriggled, in spite of its stretchiness and miracled state. She wasn't happy their holiday was going to consist of her likely sitting under the sunshade watching proceedings for the most part, but she hadn't expected to be quite this stretched out when they booked it.

“You two have a lot to answer for.” She murmured.

Crowley was leading the happy little boy up the beach, “C'mon Angel, breeze is sharp but the waters warm.”

“I'm fine, dear.” Aziraphale pretended to get back to her book. Crowley paused a moment, then saw her pull awkwardly at her costume, and clicked his fingers, “C'mon angel, for Freddie?”

Aziraphale was staring down at her costume, now a size bigger, more supportive up top and with a little shrug to tie under the bust and accentuate exactly why the angel needed a bigger costume. She raised an eyebrow, “Crowley, really.” and clicked herself, removing the words, 'babies on board' from the front. Then she put her book aside, “Very well...” She reached for her husband’s hand to be helped up, “But I'm not going in deep like this, I don't have the balance to step in any holes.”

“Relax, Angel! We'll both keep hold of Freddie, and you can walk beach side.” The demon grinned, brushing sand from the “...and proud of it!” Stamped on the behind of the swimming costume.

“What is that look for?” Aziraphale asked.

“No idea what you’re talking about.” Crowley replied, still grinning.

*

Aziraphale puffed her way up the beach later, heading towards one of the shower posts along the path while Freddie and Crowley carried on for a little while. The tide couldn't have gone that far out, but the beach seemed to be much wider on the way back.

The shower was full of children giggling, and the angel smiled warmly. Then a spaniel joined them and everyone in a 4 metre radius was instantly more wet and sandy than they had begun! Shrieks and laughter abounded from the children. Aziraphale merely sighed as the gaggle broke up, a sigh that turned into a groan as she found there was no way to get the water over her thighs thanks to the bump. She couldn't even press the button and watch her feet at the same time. Finally, in desperation, she squatted down and let the water sluice down the front of her costume so it could drain over her as she stood.

The tepid water was surprisingly refreshing, and she stayed there for a few minutes in the miraculous quiet, not a soul looking at her or disturbing the peace until she heard the familiar shout.

“Daddy!”

Aziraphale opened her eyes, turning her head towards the sound. Freddie had what was left of an ice cream in his hand, and Crowley was following him with an ice cream and an ice lolly. Aziraphale wrinkled her nose, “I don’t suppose either of you washed your hands…”

Crowley opened his lower three fingers on each hand to show the lack of sand, holding his precious cargo with thumb and first finger alone, “Baby wipes.”

“Oh!” The angel sighed, “I could have been using those instead of this contraption.”

“Or we could head home and you can have a bath.” The demon suggested sympathetically as he offered his partner the choice between the ices. Aziraphale stubbornly took the first lick before even taking it from him.

“Brat.” Crowley chuckled, “You’re more trouble than Freddie is.” His free hand clicked the umbrella and the rest of their things back to the holiday home. Aziraphale still pulled awkwardly at herself as they crossed the road to walk back though.

“Angel I’m sure that costume doesn’t need any more miracles.” Crowley worried after a moment.

“It’s not that, It’s SAND.” The angel huffed, “Oh! That’s it Crowley, we’re going to Poole tomorrow instead.”

“Poole? Oh Angel, what’s even there but a bus station and a really good chippie?”

The angel raised an eyebrow, “A whole harbour to tell stories with, and no sand.”

*

They slept late the next morning. Or rather, Aziraphale and Crowley did. When the angel finally woke and glanced at the clock, she panicked, and hopped out of bed before giving a groan, “Urg, Crowley?”

“Mm?”

“It’s nearly half ten!” She hobbled to the hallway stiffly to check on Freddie, to be rudely kicked several times.

“Oh, do give over, child.” She managed, “I’m after your brother.”

She pushed the door open a moment later, and relaxed. Freddie was standing on his bed, headphones in, dancing to something slow and deliberate looking with flashes of activity and occasionally singing along in tones.

Another kick had the angel groan loudly, and Freddie swirled on the spot mid gesture. He met his parent’s pained eyes, and tore his headphones off, worried, “Daddy?” he hopped down and ran to hug her, “Sorry Daddy I listen t’Dance mad.”

“Oh, that’s what that was.” The Angel managed weakly.

“Wash time!” The boy grinned, skipping past her and down the hall. Crowley’s head, crowned with a comedically rough looking mop of bed hair, appeared around their bedroom door and he peered after the boy before turning to his partner, “Angel?”

“I’m only half way there, Crowley.” The angel managed, “How am I going to cope all that time?”

“A few months, Angel.” Crowley shushed, sauntering up the corridor to wrap himself around her soothingly, “Admittedly a hard few months. But we’ll take it day by day and I’ll do what I can.”

Aziraphale nodded miserably.

“How about we have something light for breakfast and go to the restaurant in Poole instead of the take away? Think you need as much rest as you can get.”

*

They made it to Poole a little while later, and parked up on the supermarket car park next to the chip shop. They browsed the supermarket to kill time until the lunchtime opening; usually Aziraphale loathed soulless, warehouse-like excuses for shop chains, but the idea of having two more children coming, as well as his own struggles with wardrobe, meant they spent most of the time in the clothes section. Freddie helped by bringing them every baby outfit he could find, one at a time, making demands as to which he liked.

Aziraphale was frazzled by the time Crowley went to the tills, a small growl to the clothes that they’d better bloody behave, no scratchy seams, no poor sizing, and they’d better all feel soft and gentle on his Angel or children’s skin. Freddie stayed in the trolley seat, amusing the till girl with his non stop chatter and singing. Aziraphale met Crowley’s eye and managed a smile at this.

“He’s such a good boy.” Crowley said to the girl at her cooing, eyes still on his husband behind those dark glasses.

“I know.” Aziraphale said quietly.

Their bags put away, Crowley eyed his car as they made their way to the chippie, noting the carwashers at their stand staring in awe as though they’d never seen a Bentley before. Maybe they hadn’t – Teslas and Audis were the best you’d get on this supermarket car park he supposed, nothing with the age of his Bentley. He glanced ahead again. Aziraphale was holding Freddie’s hand tight to cross the road, and the boy was already getting antsy, “Chips Daddy!”

They were greeted brightly and seated near the tall glass window that looked out over an inland harbour basin. Freddie immediately got up and stared outside, singing to himself.

Crowley ordered his son’s food with theirs, aware he wouldn't get too much sense out of the boy mid song. The waiter chuckled at him, the picture of toddler innocence.

“I hope the others take after him.” Aziraphale remarked.

“Erf, don't need another Lex, no.” Crowley agreed, squeezing Aziraphale’s hand where it rested on her husband’s knee, “Or did you mean muse wise?”

“They do seem to respond to him.” The angel replied, free hand on her middle, “Starting and stopping. And he almost talks to them, nothing like I ever experienced with the others. Except for when-” she paused, thoughtful “Before Alexas was born, Alice was frightened of him. And he is very conductive to helping with writing in particular. Maybe Alice sensed something more than Ariel did. And she didn’t know what he was, had never had that connection in that way before, and it scared her.”

“Whereas Freddie’s otherwise alone, no other children in the house to compare with. As far as he’s concerned, this bond with his infant siblings is entirely normal.”

“And if he shares the musical ability, or the dance…” Aziraphale nodded, “He’s so happy to have siblings who share his appreciation.”

Freddie kept singing to himself for a while, watching seagulls outside the window and leaving sticky fingerprints on the glass. Aziraphale was sure to click them away when the food arrived, at which point Freddie squealed and hopped into his seat, “Than’oo mister, Daddy been talking ‘bout this all week.'

“Hah, enjoy your meal young man. You and your Mum and Dad.” The waiter left. Freddie frowned as he took a sip of his drink, “Mummy?”

“Me, dearest.” Aziraphale said.

“But you Daddy.”

“Humans, dear.” Aziraphale explained quietly, “Usually only grow their babies in people who have a particular body part-”

“Angel.” Crowley warned, not keen on having the talk with a 3 year old during the lunchtime rush in a popular restaurant, “Its complicated, Freddie. Just roll with it for now. Secret Daddy.”

Freddie giggled, “Daddy is secret undercover Mummy!” He whispered.

“Would you like me to cut up your fish, dear?” Aziraphale asked.

Freddie beamed, and swung his knife like a katana, “No Mummy, have skills!” His fork found the small chunk and rammed it into his mouth, “Mmmm... fresh as daisy!”

Crowley snorted, meeting his wife’s eye.

“Don’t say it.” Aziraphale warned him with a smirk.

“Wouldn’t dare.” The demon chuckled, flicking a tongue that today was just a little bit forked.


	15. Chapter 15

Crowley was amused as they ate quite how big an effect Freddie had on humans. While they had seen the children’s influences before, and Alexas in particular had effects that were big, bold and loud, Freddie seemed to have influence beyond his musical talents.

Right now, his big golden eyes were being used to con an extra scoop of ice cream out of the waiter, and almost every member of staff who passed their table had smiled at or spoken to the little boy.

Ice cream acquired, Freddie went back to concentrating on that, but still there were little chatters occasionally; anybody who laid eyes on him today seemed to fall in love with him.

To prevent him wandering about while they had tea and coffee to finish, Aziraphale got the boy up on her lap. Crowley pondered about stopping human time briefly, just to spend as long as he could in this moment where his ridiculous but wonderful Angel and their son were extra beautiful, both content, fed and happy.

Freddie caught his eye over Aziraphale’s arm as she put her teacup back on the saucer, and beamed, “Dada…” He clambered over the angel’s lap and Crowley put out his arms to heft him over, “There you go son.”

“Dada…” The boy paused.

“Mm?”

“Can be girl too?”

Crowley blinked at him, and murmured, “You can be whatever you want, Freddie. But no quick changes in front of humans.” He tapped his nose.

Freddie smiled, “No tells.”

Crowley glanced up at Aziraphale, but she was uninterested in the conversation. They had never been tied to gender, but since Ariel had begun exploring theirs, they had realised quite how important it might be for their children, raised in human schools around human children and human biases, to be aware that they would be supported no matter what, and that whoever they were, they were perfect.

The difference was that Aziraphale had never been particularly bothered about having a gender, having taken (mostly) male form out of habit and use in his work over the years more than anything else, and only really being female presenting this week to avoid the questions and judgement being obviously pregnant would otherwise likely cause.

Crowley had experimented wildly, playing with every new possibility as soon as it happened.

Maybe he ought to raise this issue with Aziraphale later, if Freddie was to question so young. But not right now. Aziraphale was obviously enjoying some quiet from the incessant rave going on in her tummy, and to raise it in a packed restaurant invited discourse.

*

Of course, an extra scoop of Ice cream gave Freddie the energy of a thousand suns, and he skipped, sang, talked to starlings and seagulls, and invited dogs to sniff his sticky fingers as they took a walk down the harbour front. Crowley took him up onto an observation platform where he could wave and be waved to when a lifeboat came in from the bay while Aziraphale had a small rest.

Looking down from above at the Angel’s discomfort, Crowley had an idea.

“Boat trip?” he asked as they came back down, indicating the boards up the harbour side advertising Brownsea isle trips.

“Will he sit still much longer?” Aziraphale worried, reaching out to grab Freddie’s wrist as he hopped over a tie-ring on the very edge, “Not so close, my dear.”

“We'll take top, bit blowy today so everybody's hanging out down below.” Crowley replied, “Plenty of space for him to be lead around on a toddler leash.”

“Crowley!!” Aziraphale paused. He had never liked the ‘leash’ as Crowley so delicately put it, but inspired by Alexas’s toddler behaviour they had bought one when he was expecting Jennet, and then bought another new one for Freddie rather than ask Anathema if she still had the one they’d given her. It had come in handy more than once given the boy’s tendency towards dreamlike behaviour when he caught a tune.

“Well, alright. But you're going to have to keep hold of him.” The angel said. She paused, “And wear this.”

“Coat?” Crowley frowned as he took the warm jacket, “Angel it’s warm enough-”

“You'll feel the cold once we clear Brownsea, Dear. Did you never go to sea?”

*

It had been colder than expected on the other side of the little island that made Poole such a safe spot to have a harbour, and Freddie had seemingly been a little bit scared once they were on that side.  
“Big.” He said, “All the water.”

“No different to Bournemouth, love.” Aziraphale told him gently, but let him hop up on her lap again anyway, and wrapped as much of her coat as she could around him. Crowley tsked, and clicked to make it just that little bit bigger, enough to go around Freddie and the bump, and Aziraphale didn’t complain this time. The twins had settled, and Freddie was once more her beloved, well behaved little toddler.

Crowley put an arm around his partner’s shoulder, and they enjoyed the ride together. By the time they came to get off the boat, Freddie was asleep. Aziraphale cuddled him closer, “Maybe we should go for a little car ride, dear.”

“While it’s just us?” Crowley chuckled, “I hear Lyme is nice.”

“A bit far though, surely?”

“Sherbourne’s closer. Nice cafes there. Hear good things about their black forest cake.”

“Maybe tomorrow, I think he’s had enough sugar.”

“Christchurch? You can look at the consecrated ground.”

“You’re not going to complain about my taking our children in?”

“More wondering whether my feet will react again.” Crowley replied, “Word has it hellfire and holy water are no longer big allergens up there.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Aziraphale murmured, “Not like last time.”

“Wouldn’t have done it for anybody else.” The demon winked, “And what’s a little discomfort to thwart a bunch of Nazis and save my Angel from discorporation?”

“Still, Crowley.” The angel’s pleading voice was back.

“Christchurch?” Crowley asked again.

*

“The priory sounds like we’re getting help with a problem.” Crowley said as he gazed up at the signage and shuffled his feet on the path.

“Does it? I’m rather afraid I don’t know that saying, dear.” Aziraphale replied, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Better than. Not a tingle. But - standing here with my family. Feelsss weird.”

“Weird?”

“Impossible. Or Improbable. One of those. Ngk.” Crowley waved his hand and carried on ahead, up the path. The real test was ahead.

When they reached the priory door, Crowley offered his arms to Aziraphale, “I’ll take Freddie, if you like.”

“I’d rather not, if you need to make a quick exit.”

“Suit yourself.” Crowley snorted, and pushed the door open with more bravado than he felt. It was like that night in the Blitz all over again, just not with the constant threat of death from the sky or to his Angel. From beyond, maybe, or the font, but not the sky. And less sharp suits. He strode forward more confidently than he felt, worrying briefly over each step as he took it. He reached the Nave quickly, and looked up, taking in surroundings he never thought he’d see.

“An impossible family stands in an impossible place for them to be, together.” Aziraphale whispered reverently as she stood level with her husband.

“It’s a bit plain.” The demon replied.

“That’s the reformation for you.” Aziraphale replied. Then a smug smile twitched at the corner of her mouth, “One of you-”

“Ours? Nah, that’s humans that is. Always squabbling over something.”

“Sounds very similiar to us.”

“Pff.”

Aziraphale’s hand squeezed his. Crowley couldn’t help himself. He squeezed back. Neither took their eyes from the end of the long building as they walked together, holding hands, Aziraphale supporting Freddie over her shoulder with one arm.

When they reached the end, Aziraphale nodded him to one of the pews. The demon sat gingerly, but nothing happened.

“Weird.” He said.

“Shh.” Aziraphale hushed him a little.

“Nobody else is…” He paused, then nodded. If his angel felt like showing a little respect, he could do that, just this once. He knew how damned complicated Aziraphale’s relationship with her faith was.

“C’mon, let me have hellspawn from you then.” He nodded. The angel gave the boy up reluctantly. She sat for a moment, taking in whatever was in the atmosphere, then lent forward slightly, clasping her hands together in front of her bowed head. Crowley couldn’t tell if it was prayer or contemplation, so focussed in on his son. His cheeks were flushed with sleep, eyes twitching under his eyelids in impossible dreams. What do muses even dream of? The demon pondered. He would have to ask the older children sometime.

It was quiet.

Maybe he’d done that; dissuading tourists or even staff from being here while they were.

It was disconcerting, his brain told him suddenly. To be in a church and not feel the holiness as a scorch that burned him and seared his flesh. It was quiet. He still felt he didn’t belong here, but now it was a feeling from his heart, not his head and feet.

It was more than disconcerting; it was downright anxiety inducing. To not feel the burn almost made him feel he would be attacked at any moment; struck down for daring to ever think he would be safe here on her soil. It was too much, and he squeezed Aziraphale’s shoulder as he stepped around her, “Take your time Angel. We’ll just be outside. No worry. Just antsy.”

*

“Human places of worship never mattered to you spiritually. You were an Angel; you felt her love everywhere you went.” Crowley murmured on the drive back to Bournemouth. The angel had been quiet since leaving the priory, and though Crowley sensed no irritation from her, he was aware of a certain lingering disquiet.

“It’s… been a long time.” The angel replied, “The last time was Alice and Ariel, when I went – I told you it was a minor blessing but it wasn’t, I just- wanted somewhere to be alone with my thoughts.”

“Understandable. Not every day a demon knocks up an angel who’s been driven to destruction by his own boss.”

“Perhaps it was still… old prejudices. I wanted to see if I was still… allowed.”

The demon tilted his head non-judgementally.

“Thank you for – for joining me.”

“Pfft. It’s our holiday, Angel. Spent too long apart.”

A hand patted his on the steering wheel, resting there a moment before moving so the demon could change gears.

“I mean it. It’s not a thing I will do – a lot – especially not now – but it’s always been a place I can be alone with my conscience, and for you to share that… it was… nice.”

The demon snorted, “Suppose I’ll get used to it. Wasn’t unpleasant. Just couldn’t shake the idea I was about to be struck down for daring to stand there.”

“Oh, Dear…”

“It’s… fine.” Crowley replied, “Just odd.”

They fell back into silence for the remainder of the trip.

“Freddie seems to have been asleep a long time.” Aziraphale noted when they got back to the house.

“Sugar crash?” Crowley suggested. He got out of the car and went to the back. As he unbuckled the child, he checked his forehead, “He’s warm still. Hope he’s not coming down with anything.”

The boy stretched and blinked blearily at him, but once in his dad’s arms seemed quite content to go back to sleep. The demon carried him through, sitting back on the sofa to cradle him. Aziraphale sat beside him, leaning on his shoulder, and at length the demon realised he was the only one of the three (five?) still awake.

He draped his arm around Aziraphale, hugging her close, and closed his eyes.

*

The demon woke when Freddie was lifted from his lap, “Oh, I’m sorry dear.”

“Not a problem.” he hissed, still half asleep.

“He is warm.” The angel worried, “I think we should stay in for tea.”

“Lot of energy expended today bending the world to his will.” Crowley snorted.

“Crowley! Our son-”

“Doesn’t even realise he can get anything by making big eyes at a human.”

“…I suppose.”

“Angel, I think he might be another gender questioning one.”

“Oh?”

“Just a forewarning. In case he decides to change it up one of the mornings.”

“I see. Thank you dear. He does rather take after you.” The angel hefted the boy a little, “Frederick dear, you feel very warm. Do you feel alright?”

The boy made some unintelligible sleepy noises.

“I suppose maybe your father would oblige-”

Crowley reached out a hand, a bottle of children’s paracetamol in it.

“Thank you dear.” Aziraphale smiled, “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Story…” The boy murmured.

“Of course you can have a story.” Aziraphale told him, “Let’s get you to bed first though.”

“I’ll see what we’ve got that’s easy for tea.” Crowley told him, “Night Freddie.”

“Ni’dad.”


	16. Chapter 16

Tea was subdued, and Aziraphale decided to go to bed sooner rather than later. Crowley heard her on the floor above, pausing briefly at Freddie’s door to check on him before she went to get ready for bed.

He also heard the little footsteps following her an hour later, and climbed the stairs to find the boy curled up next to the angel, head on the bump and knitting his fingers together lightly.

“Don’t wake him, son.” The demon said as he gently climbed onto the other side of the bed, “He’s working really hard for those two.”

“No dada.” The boy said, “I behave.”

“I know. You’re a good boy – a good kid in general.”

Freddie smiled at him. It was nice to see, considering how tired he seemed.

“C’mon. Tell them to be gentle, we’ll have some tunes on quietly.” The demon told him, getting his phone out, “Quiet little party.”

“Qiiet party.”

Curled up next to them both, Crowley was nearly asleep when he heard the giggle, “Daddy’s tummy dances. Thas good tune.”

He opened an eye. One little hand had found the bump and was following the tiniest movement, a lazy, slow imitation of the beat there. He flicked his eyes up. Aziraphale was still asleep, and smiling slightly, producing delicious waves of calm and joy as she did.

Freddie dozed off, which gave Crowley a chance to put his own hand there. His delicate senses found what may have been two little hands, a gentle swish-swish of back and forth motion to the music. He snorted, “Dancing, huh. Got ourselves a whole song and dance troupe maybe?”

*

The rest of the week away passed without incident, a little calmer now. Freddie still went paddling every day, though huge fluffy towels were a constant companion and Aziraphale was often found swaddling the boy close to her in one.

“Spoiling him.” Crowley chuckled, but didn’t complain further, “Here, hand him over, I’ll swaddle him to within an inch of his life!”  
“No, No dada! Too much!” Freddie laughed as he was cuddled and tickled and loved.

Then there was the, “No want go home.” protests, as they had a last morning paddle before heading back.

“We have to dear.” Aziraphale told him, having been tempted back down to the water while Crowley packed the car, checked the house and returned the keys, “We have to get back and think about the twins big birthday.”

Freddie stared at the bump, furrowing his brow, “Not fr’ages yet.”

“Alice and Ariel, dear!”

“Oh.” The boy nodded understanding, “Not fr’ages yet either.”

“Three weeks now.” He told him, “Three weeks to mark their 25 years.”

“Twen-ty-fi.”

“That’s right.”

“How many me’s?”

“Well…” The angel pondered, “You’re 3, so, let me see. 8. And a bit. Of you.”

“Eit.”

“It flies by, Frederick darling.” Aziraphale managed, suddenly feeling the weight of that small amount of years, how much it must feel for a human, “You’ll be 25 before I even know it. My precious child.”

“Arg! Dada!” Freddie squealed as he was hugged tight, “Not tenny-fi. Not ever if Dada is sad.”

“No, dear.” Aziraphale managed, “Not sad. I want you to grow up, a-at a normal rate – I want to know you and who you are, who you’re going to be. Never sad, just a little… nostalgic.”

“Eh?” The boy squeaked as his dad let go of his tight hug.

“Oh dear. You have to grow up, Dear. It’s up to us to make the most of it while you’re small. One day you won’t be – and that’s okay – I’m going to love you no matter how old you are. We both will.” She paused, “Please don’t use any energy to mess up how you grow.”

“Daddy?”

The angel was fighting tears.

“Daddy.”

“What is it, Frederick?”

“Love you.” He kissed Aziraphale’s forehead. The angel did cry then. This was how Crowley found them some moments later.

“Everything alright?” He worried.

“Daddy’s not sad.” Freddie told him, “Loves him.”

*

There was work waiting for the celestial beings when they got home. More data, more map plotting. Even knowing Lucien said what was coming wouldn’t be harmful, they couldn’t leave it alone. Who knew if Celestials would count ‘harmful’ the same way they did?

Aziraphale marked up the June map with as much attention to detail as the maps he had plotted before Jennet’s trip to the Heavens.

“They’re lining up with other forces, too.” He told Crowley after plotting all the points, “Some aligning with magnetic forces – there’s reports of birds off course – even had a text from Alexas reporting that Sir David Attenborough is confused!-”

“That boy does not know-”

“Why wouldn’t he, Crowley? We knew Shakespeare and Wilde, why should he not know Attenborough?”

“Because he’s over a hundred, what business does a not yet 20 year old stage actor and student have with him?”

“He has a way with people.” Aziraphale smiled, “You know that.”

“Ngk. Too gregarious for his own good.”

“Anyway, returning to this map.” Aziraphale replied, “Even the ones aligned with magnetic and equatorial forces seem to warp when they’re close to the edges of the tectonic plates – to the closest thing non occult humans have to Earth’s own energy. They generally seem to be arranging evenly across the whole planet, apart from the handful that aren’t.”

“Mm.”

“And there’s two large anomalies.”

“Here.”

“Yes, that’s the first one. Right here where we live.” The angel paused to push his glasses back up his nose, “The other is there. The cradle of man. The place where the hole in the wall of Eden came out.”

“Urg.” Crowley rubbed his eyes and temples, “What does all this even mean?!”

“And why aren’t humans in general aware of it?” The angel paused, “There was so little clamour over your plane detour…”

“It’s as though somebody pulled a blanket of ignorance over their eyes.” The demon managed, “It’s too big a change for them to ignore this much! Given every little thing they get upset about!” He paused.

“Angel?”

“Yes dear?”

“Where – where do you think God and Lucifer buggered off to after the war?”

“Crowley, what-”

“Damned if I know.” The demon replied, “Just throwing ideas out there. And why are we such a big part of it that we’ve got our very own spot on the map?!”

“The lord isn’t going to send us a memo.” Aziraphale replied, “But I feel we’re missing a large nugget of information which would be key to working it all out.”

“And if Lucien can’t tell us…”

“It’s sure to involve us.”

“So long as she’s not intent on using our daughter as a damn Herald in muse clothing.” Crowley growled.

“Oh no, Dear.” Aziraphale replied, “I had… words with -her. Before Freddie arrived.”

“You what?” The demon had sat, and gawked up at the Angel, “Is that why-?”

“My wings defrosted? Yes. I believe so. She asked who I would have protected. In case of future wars – there’s only one name I would have given her, knowing the others are safe, are… different.”

Crowley gazed at him, “You never said.”

“I didn’t have much choice.” The angel shrugged, “Her last words to me were a warning to take a deep breath. Next thing I knew I was standing in a puddle. It was hard to think of anything else.”

“Suppose even being considered a muse doesn’t stop her being a Herald of sorts though.” The demon managed, “The muse of tragedy… If heaven and hell are to wage war on humanity…” He fell silent.

“I would hope Jennet was off the cards now.” Aziraphale replied.

“Can we ever trust the almighty again though?” Crowley growled, “Damnit Angel, it’s one thing to fuck with us, but our daughter, after all she’s already been through!”

Aziraphale’s fingers were twitching. He hadn’t thought of that option, Crowley realised.

“I- I didn’t think – of course, everything has a- a price.” He managed, “I just wanted to protect her.”

His fists clenched. Crowley flew out of his chair, “No, Angel no, it’s alright, we don’t know, we don’t know anything, it’s just… It’s all just theories.”

“I just want her safe.” Aziraphale managed, sniffing back frustrated tears, “I want her safe, why is that so much to ask for? That our daughter not be equivalent to the… the damn Antichrist!”

“Angel. Angel.” Crowley soothed, “Angel… shhh. You can’t… mustn’t… get so upset. Please. Calm, please.”

His husband’s fists were both clenched tight; He could feel the tension in his strong shoulders even with his arms around his neck in a tight hug. He heard the rustle of feathers, smelt the familiar scent of feather dust and ozone, and squeezed him tighter, “Angel, please.”

He wasn’t expecting his husbands weight to go limp against him, dropping them both to the floor in a tangle of limbs.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapters a long one! I had to add some bits after I'd chaptered it up to post and it would have been a huge job to shuffle the chapters afterwards about appropriately :(

“Daddy?”

“Freddie. Get some water – your plastic cup will do.”

The boy took in the scene before him before pattering off at speed to get his cup. Crowley stroked Aziraphale’s back gently as they lay on the study floor, the angel’s wings spread wide in a dead faint.

“Babies?” Freddie asked as he returned. Since the morning on the beach his speech had taken a jump – Crowley wondered how much of that was the boy fighting to stay the way he thought his parents wanted him – if so he was far more sensitive than either of them had given him credit for.

“You find out for me.” The demon said as he took the water and dipped his fingers in it, smearing it on his husbands flushed cheeks and forehead. He jumped at a feeling against his hip – a welcome, fluttery feeling from the bump.

“Babies a’fine.” Freddie told him.

“Good.” Crowley replied, “Your dad just got very upset, that’s all. It was too much for him.” I hope, he added in his head.

Freddie patted one of his dad’s soft wings gently, picking at loose feathers, “I preens Dad.”

Aziraphale gasped back to waking at that point, “Crowley – Crowley I - ”

“Shh.” The demon told him, “That’s enough positing for one day.”

He rolled the Angel onto his back gently, giving him space to draw his wings back in first. Freddie scrabbled to sit with them, “Daddy, think of babies!”

“I-I’m sorry.” He managed.

“Freddie.” Crowley warned, “No more tears, Angel. I’ll send Anathema this data back. You rest.”

Freddie giggled. Aziraphale held his side, “Oh, I’m being told off.”

“Not surprised.” Crowley chuckled, “Can you get up yet?”

“I-I think so.”

“Okay. Sofa time. I’ll make some tea. Last thing we need is you damaging yourself.”

*

Once he was sure Aziraphale had only passed out from a sort of emotional feedback (drawing on too much power in rage would do that to any pregnant celestial), the demon sent the information over to Anathema and packed it away. His phone pinged as he did. A check found a reply from the Occultist.

_“ Is he alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t realise he would take this in quite that direction. I won’t tell Jen if that’s all the same to you. She doesn’t need to be worrying. Also – have you seen the news today? Somebody you might know maybe? ”_

He clicked about on the phone as he made the tea. There was an article from a paper in London that proclaimed, ‘Cryptid or glitch?’

A name stood out. When they were married, the Them had been playing with an app on their phones that had revealed a ghost of the twin’s wings. The app had gone through several iterations, eventually being christened FoziWaka for who knows what reason – but it seemed that it was again, picking up on something that humans would never otherwise be aware was there.

And this time it wasn’t a principality in flux.

He took the phone in with the tea tray, “Angel, you need to see this.”

Aziraphale stared at the phone, frowning, “Oh my.”

“Is it?”

“Gabriel? Yes, I rather feel it is.”

*

“They're treating my life story as fictional!” Crowley snapped as he strode into the kitchen, where Aziraphale was raiding the fridge. The angel snorted, “Be fair Crowley, they treat demons as fictional all the time.”

“Have you seen who they cast as you?”

“No dear. I’m too worried to read the book!”

Crowley fiddled with his phone, and held it up to the Angel’s face. Aziraphale turned his head, frowning at the screen.

“My word, they would have been better off the other way round.”

“What?!” Crowley’s jaw dropped, “I do not look like the Welshman at all!”

Aziraphale chuckled, “It's not as though it’s the first time we seem to have been portrayed.”

“Angel, even you said Neon Genesis Evangelion had cast Gabriel.”

“That was a joke, Dear.”

Crowley slouched against the worktop, “How long are you going to be making that sandwich?”

“I was trying to decide between the cheeses.”

“Just have both Angel, not like you need to worry about calories with those two enjoying it all.”

“I didn’t really like how they reacted to the sharp cheddar last time.” The Angel admitted. There was no response. He glanced up. Crowley was looking puzzled.

“Dear?”

“I’ve seen it before.” The demon replied.

“Seen what before?” Aziraphale took the non-offending cheese from the fridge and clicked a knife into being without thinking.

“The pattern. You were projecting earlier, how it’s all going to look when it’s finished.”

“The ley lines?”

“Well it wasn’t a map of your downstairs post twins, Angel.” The demon snorted, “I’ve seen it before. A lot.”

“There was no need for that comment.” Aziraphale huffed, “Where have you seen it?”

“Telly.”

This the Angel did frown at him for.

“Dear, if there’s nothing in books, what makes you think-?!”

“S’hard to describe some things in books, Angel. Not everybody has all the words.” He was playing with his phone again, “Damnit, why don’t humans file properly?!”

Aziraphale finished making his sandwich and dropped the knife in the sink, leaning to peer over his husband’s shoulder.

“I thought NGE, but that’s just misremembering the End of.” Crowley grumbled, “Then I thought Star Trek, closest I’ve got is a ‘Shield grid’”

Aziraphale frowned.

“I was thinking of some sort of beacon or shield they find around a planet.” The demon replied flatly, “Was sure I’d seen it. Or maybe on Captain Scarlet.”

He paused. He had expected Aziraphale to giggle at some of his watching habits, but the Angel was silent.

“Remember to breathe.” He nudged him.

“Oh! Oh yes. Sorry dear. I, er.” The Angel was pointing to a link to a Q&A site. His finger brushed the screen accidentally and it opened.

“Shield grid. This person reckons produced from the mechanism in the grid lines on the hull…” Crowley swallowed, “Are we… going to be shielded?”

“Would it be so bad?” Aziraphale asked, “Lucien said it was a good thing. Would being shielded from beyond actually help?”

“Shields in the Trek universe also prevent you from travelling through too. So we… we’d be stuck here. And they’d all be out there.” Crowley managed, “Cut off.”

Aziraphale took the phone, peering at the pictures, “Of course…”

“Hm?”

“Azimuthal Equidistant Projection.” The angel replied, pushing the phone back into Crowley’s hand and bustling for the study, sandwich forgotten. Crowley plated it up before bringing it through. The angel already had seven books off the shelves, and the door to the dimension the rest of his collection lived in was open.

“Penny for your thoughts?” The demon asked as he slid the sandwich onto the windowledge.

“The Ancient Egyptians used it as a method to appropriately space the stars on their maps.” The angel managed, “But – recent versions are used to plot the surface of the Earth, by accurate landmass across latitude and longitude rather than by which hemisphere drew the map.” He paused, “Just – the grid of those lines, reminds me of your shield grid, reminds me of…” He moved a book that was leaning upright, revealing a small globe which was covered in sticky dots.

“Large hubs are polar, and equatorial.” He managed, “Smaller ones run horizontally, exactly between each. It’s a grid, and if it’s to harness the Earth’s own power for good, a shield would be obvious.”

“Fuck.” Crowley spun the little globe, “Shielded from what?”

“From the next apocalypse?” The angel worried, “From whatever God and Lucifer left earth to do?”

“Crowley recognised by now what wrung hands meant, and wrapped an arm around the angel, turning him away, “We’re not meant to know yet.” He snapped the beyond room closed, and picked up the plate again, “And if we’re not meant to know, we won’t know.”

“Oh but Crowley-”

“We’ll deal with it. In good time.” The demon hissed, “Right now all we can do, isss monitor it.” He handed Aziraphale the plate. The angel blinked at it.

“You’ll make them hangry if you don’t eat.” He explained, “Now come on through and watch this. I want to see what a trainwreck these two playing us are.”

“I am sure they won’t be.”

“They haven’t even kissed by the 90s.”

“That was a mistake, I told you-”

“It was not.” Crowley teased, “You meant to do it, distracting me was an excuse.”

*

Weeks passed. The morning the twins turned 25, the celestial couple were trying to decorate the house for their oldest offspring’s return home that evening.

Freddie was underfoot. He loved the balloons, he loved the silver bunting, he loved bouncing on the sofa singing while Crowley tried to get everything level and Aziraphale stood with his back to the door to try and assuage his backache.

Eventually Crowley made to go into the hallway for something, and muttered, “Can you busy him for a few? The hundredth round of happy birthday is driving me up the wall.”

The Angel agreed. He had been fine otherwise since his passing out, and his husband was finally letting him out of his sight again, so he was pleased to even if it meant looking after the hyperactive toddler. The weather was warm this morning, so they went outside and he tested the boy’s vocabulary. He held the child’s hand tightly as they approached the Buddleia that grew around the drive, “And what do we say to the bees, Freddie?”

“Make nice honey, bees!” Freddie instructed, in far nicer a tone than his father would have used. Aziraphale chuckled, “Yes, but what else do we tell them?”

“Oh... mornin'bees!”

“There we go. And I'm sure they say good morning back.”

“No Daddy, they're busy with foxgloves.”

“Well, we can say good morning when we pass by.”

The boy toddled happily in the fresh air, “Mornin' Jasmine. Mornin' SnaDragns. Mornin' Buttercup.” He bent to the lawn to pick the flower. It was one of the only ones he was allowed to pick without permission. Aziraphale wiggled happily at his good, well behaved son as he sniffed the flower and offered it him, “Here Daddy. Flower for you.”

“For me? How kind.” The stem wasn't long enough to put in his buttonhole or behind his ear, so he placed it gently atop his fluffy curls and bade it to stay put.

“Bees!” Freddie squealed suddenly, approaching the foxgloves cautiously as his dad's had told him to, “Hello bees! I can't say hello like Daddy, he says I'm’bit demon an’ sometimes creatures don't like demons.”

A couple of the insects landed on Aziraphale’s cardigan, and he smiled at them, “Would you mind awfully, dears?”

He knelt to Freddie’s level carefully, “Now hold your hand out flat and don't move it.”

The boy did as he was told. Aziraphale coaxed one bee off his cardigan and onto his hand, offering it like a bridge to the boys’ own. The insect wobbled a little, patted the tips of his tiny fingers, and considered before stepping on. Just for a moment, but enough to delight the child.

“Never without us.” Aziraphale told him, “But I will do my best to introduce you.”

“Bye bee! Make honey!” Freddie called after them, “Daddy, why no bee hive?”

“Because I don’t want you or your siblings disturbing them.” The angel told him, “And having raised 3 children before you, I am well aware of how groups of youngsters sometimes behave. One dare and somebody goes knocking on the hive, the next thing you know somebody’s been stung!”

Freddie looked at him incredulously, “Lex?”

Aziraphale couldn’t help but chuckle, “Lex indeed. Come on, let’s say hello to the chickens and the ducks.”

“Birbs!” Freddie squealed, and ran off towards the coop.

*

“Dad!” came the pair of voices as Crowley opened the door.

“Evening you two. Happy birthday Ari – where’s your sister?”

“Er…” Ariel bit her lip.

“Li had a date or something. She’ll be over tomorrow.” Alexas explained with a snort. Crowley growled, never that keen on the idea of his children dating, but Aziraphale merely chuckled from the sofa, and called them in to feel their newest siblings.

“Dad you're just a machine.” Alexas laughed, before being distracted by Freddie, “Hey Merc, wanna go swing off the tree branches out back?”

“Yeah!” Freddie squealed, “Daddy, please?”

“You go ahead.” Aziraphale smiled, “But be gentle, Alexas.”

When they were gone Aziraphale smiled at Ariel, “Happy birthday my dear. It’s a shame your sister couldn't come.”

Ariel smiled, “Li had something else entirely planned for her birthday...”

Crowley grumbled again, “Remind her to be careful.”

“We all are.” Ariel told him, “We look after each other.”

“That is commendable.” Aziraphale said, “I always hoped despite the age gaps you would all look out for each other.”

Ariel beamed.

“Now, given it's so late, did you want cake now or tomorrow?”

“Cake sounds lovely!” Ariel replied, then paused, “But maybe for breakfast? I'm so tired from travelling and I think I’ve had too much cake already, I feel sick.”

“Oh course love. We set up Jennet's room for you.” He beamed, “Rest if you need to.”

“Thanks dad. Oh-” The red head patted the bump, “You too.”

“That was quick.” Crowley snorted, “Expected a bit more chat for all this effort.” He waved an arm at the decorations.

“Oh Dear, she’s tired, she’s been at work today. We can have a proper party tomorrow.” The Angel smiled, “Why don’t you go and spend some time with your sons?”

“Mm.” The demon mused, a little on edge from the thoughts he’d had this year, “Coming?”

“Mm, I suppose. Not for long though – I’m tired myself.”

*

It was midnight. Freddie had long gone to bed, as had Aziraphale, and Crowley was sitting in the kitchen listening not too happily to what his son thought of the alcohol choice for tomorrow.

“I’m sure the Gingernuts will love it, I just wonder why you always go so all out on this stuff?”

“Who’s son are you anyway?” Crowley asked, “Because you’re obviously not ours talking like that.”

Alexas laughed, “I just don’t like the stuff. It’s so bitter! Ari might appreciate it, Li definitely will, but I am not big on drinking.”

Crowley failed to string a set of syllables together into a word. Alexas laughed brightly, at least until there was an ear piercing scream from upstairs.

“Ari?!” The lad was all business suddenly, diving ahead of his dad to climb the stairs, almost running over Aziraphale and Freddie on the landing in his hurry. The angel flipped the light switch on as they followed the screaming, Crowley twitching unhappily at the back of the group and worried about the almost electrical bristling in his husband’s aura.

“Ariel?!” The Angel cried as he opened the door, “Ariel, what is-”

Ariel was sat hunched over in bed, head in hands, crying in pain. The angel stopped bristling immediately at the lack of exterior threat, moving to their side cautiously, “Ariel, my dear…”

“What is it?” Crowley wriggled to the front of the group, “What’s happening?!”

Aziraphale blinked, “Crowley, Her aura…” He saw the others seemingly for the first time, “Lex dear, take Freddie back to his room.”

The blonde nodded, usual mischief cowed in fear.

When they had gone, Aziraphale moved to sit on the bed, “Ariel, my dear, what is it? Please, what’s the matter?”

Crowley was on her other side, “Ari, we're here.” The pair held onto her gently, Aziraphale holding her head. They had stopped screaming at least, although the tears kept coming and little cries of pain and panic kept rising in the redhead’s throat.

“Careful Angel.” Crowley warned, seeing his husband’s forehead pressed to Ariels.

“I won't go far in.” Aziraphale replied, “I wouldn’t want to – without asking.”

Ariel nudged against him gently but firmly.

“Think someone heard you.” Crowley murmured.

Aziraphale closed his eyes.

It was quite dark inside. Ariel’s lizard-like true form was curled up in a faint, and Aziraphale reached for her gently.

“Dear?”

They shied away from the touch, an emotion that felt like burning caressing the angel’s fingertips. He wasn’t expecting the voice.

“Daddy? Does - does Li feel like this too?”

“I-I don't know love.” The angel stammered, pulling away a little, Crowley? Crowley, call Alice...” he tried to make his mouth move in the distance and hoped it was enough, “What's happening, Dear? Where hurts?”

“My self, daddy.”

Aziraphale paused, “Sense of, or..?”

“My… What. Who.” She murmured. Aziraphale fought back the burning sensation to touch the form’s shoulder, “You are a muse. You are my and Crowley’s beloved child. You are art and wonder and - and - You are Ariel Ophelia Fell-Crowley. You’re you.”

“I know.” They uncoiled, holding onto him, “But-but-”

Their outline seemed fuzzy, vibrating with celestial power. A penny dropped with the Angel, “Oh. Oh my dear, I think I – I understand. You're trying to knit yourself together. And only you can do that. You’re – you’re – to make a choice of who – what – you’re to be.”

“At 25, a choice will be made.” The intonation sounded almost hypnotised, and Ariel’s self bucked violently at a spasm of pain. Aziraphale held on, “Ariel, how – how can I help?”

At that point an external force pulled him away. Aziraphale stared into Crowley’s wide eyes with argument on his tongue, but found he lacked the strength, despite his assurance that he wouldn’t go too deep. He mouthed ‘thank you’ as the demon held him tight, letting him down gently to the blanket and placing Ariel’s hand in his.

“Let Ari do what they need to, Angel. Just be there for them.” He held their child’s other hand, squeezing gently.

“But – but what if-”

“It’s their choice. Not ours.”


	18. Chapter 18

Morning came slowly, traumatically, and Crowley finally awoke at a chuckle. He was cuddled up on the bed with Aziraphale, his arms around the bump, dribbling slightly. Their sons were in the doorway, Ariel sitting at the end of the bed on a video call with Alice. The red head’s aura was vibrant green, and though exhausted they were smiling.

“You're okay.” Crowley managed, “You're both okay.”

“Yeah.” Alice replied, “Ruined my date though!”

“What is… Oh!” Aziraphale cried at the sight of his children, “Oh my dears, you’re - ” he paused as his senses took in the change, “You’re…” He beamed brightly.

“Immortal.” Said Ariel.

“Eternal.” Said Alice.

“What was..?” Alexas piped up suddenly.

“Must be some sort of rite of passage...” Crowley reckoned, “You hit an age, you’ve lived enough to know if you’d choose to live as a Celestial or as a Mortal.”

“Did we pass?” Alice asked.

“We're still alive after last night.” Ariel replied.

“So - So we might all have to do it?” Alexas paled in fear for maybe the first time in his life, “It looked scary.”

“It was.” Ariel murmured.

“Maybe you should come home for your 25th, Lex dear.” Aziraphale said, “Each one of you, if it holds true. Be here and at least we can keep you safe.”

“I think maybe this is about us proving we can keep ourselves safe, Daddy.” Alice said, “Not that we don't appreciate it...”

Ariel reached to pat his hand and smiled, “You were comforting.”

“I believe your father means more of a safe outside atmosphere.” Crowley replied, “So we avoid whatever happened with you last night, Alice.”

“Well, we can discuss that later.” The woman said, “I have to wait for the locksmith since my date ran for his life and the police broke the door in. I'll be around as soon as the flats sealed.”

Crowley managed a half smile. Aziraphale turned sharply to him, “Crowley I know you were upset-”

“I could hardly have arranged that, Angel.” He replied without looking at his husband. Then he wiped the smile from his face, “They didn't damage anything else?”

“Nah. It's all good.” Alice waved her hand idly, “I already tidied up.”

“Good. Kept that flat perfect for years.” he grumbled.

“We'll be glad to see you later, my dear.' Aziraphale interjected, “We'll save you some cake!”

“Cake. Cake, for breakfast!” Ariel squeaked suddenly.

“Cake!” Freddie echoed.

*

With the twins coming out of their 25th birthday both alive and with one of the mysteries of their lives solved, Crowley’s attention turned back to the question of what 25 years actually meant from the various predictions he and Anathema had collected. This time, Aziraphale was the collected one.

“Dear.” He murmured, holding the demon close when he found him meticulously checking and rechecking notes at 3 in the morning, “What if 25 years is the start of something, but not something terrible?”

“I wish I could trust that it was the case, Angel.” He replied. He was stilled by the closeness and calmness of his husband’s aura though.

“Maybe it means the start of a new era, with the first hybrids accepting their power and responsibility?”

“You’ve been reading comics for Freddie again.” Crowley snorted.

“Some of them have good points.” The angel replied, “Come back to bed dear. I missed you, and Harriet’s visiting tomorrow. With her partner. Want to be at your best.”

“You alright Angel?” Crowley managed.

“We miss you.” Aziraphale kissed his cheek lightly before whirling lightly on his toes like Freddie might, and moving from the room as daintily as though his wings had helped him along. 

“We’re at that point already, are we?” The demon murmured, “I hope you’re not going to start personifying the children when Harriet’s here.”

The next day was warm, and Crowley was already sipping wine before the women arrived. Aziraphale had remained in his strange, floaty mood, and Harriet had noticed, the demon knew. At least Kellie didn’t know any better. She was, Crowley had to admit, already familiar. They turned up together on Kellie’s motorbike, a beautiful machine with some real age to it. Kellie herself wore a lot of leather, had amongst others things a snake biting an apple tattooed on her shoulder, and her black hair was styled with red streaks. She had good taste in sunglasses too, the demon had to admit.

“What are you thinking?” Harriet asked as she cornered him in the kitchen, staring at a bottle to work out how much was 1 unit, the amount Kellie had said she was happy to have when driving. She took the bottle off him as she spoke, pouring an amount into a glass and topping it up with mixer. Crowley wrinkled his nose, “I’m thinking I’m glad Angel’s not himself to see you do that with good wine.”

“Don’t change the subject.” She told him, “I’m serious. What do you think of her?”

“I think it’s not my business.” Crowley managed, “I’m happy for you. Are you happy?”

“Yes?”

“Then that’s all I need to be.”

“Nothing else, at all?”

Crowley swigged from his glass.

“Who’s not appreciating good wine now?” Harriet chuckled.

“It’s my wine.” Crowley snorted, “You have a type. That’s all I think. She makes you happy. I’m happy.”

“Really?” The woman beamed.

“Did you… really think I wouldn’t be?”

Harriet hugged him. Crowley flailed a little, “Harriet, Harriet, the wine.”

“That’s an excuse, you soft excuse for a creature from hell.”

“Ngk!”

Aziraphale giggled as he ducked around them, “Where’s the orange juice dear?”

“Azira-ngk-Harriet! Gerrof!”

“Hug Daddy!” Freddie squealed as he pattered after his dad.

“Hah, mind if I..?” before he could object, Kellie had attached herself to Harriet, “That my drink?”

“Azira-” Crowley stopped complaining. It seemed pointless when his husband had joined the cuddle, stopping him wriggling free from the arms attached deliberately or accidentally to him.

“Ngk.” He commented, “Gerrof, the lot of you.”

“Okay grumpy.” Harriet giggled, finally letting go, “No Anthony. I don’t need your acceptance. But I’m happy to have it.”

“Hold on tight to the back of that bike on the way back.” He told her, “Don’t fall off.”

“Pff. Alcohol softens a fall.” Kellie answered for her, a knowing glance at her partner.

“Auntie Harriet!” Freddie shouted suddenly, “Gotta show you my r’corder!”

“Oh, Freddie!” She chuckled, “Okay, you show me.”

“Daddy too!”

“Coming dear.” Aziraphale shuffled after him, a little of the grace leaving him like the sway of hormones. Kellie made to follow, but Crowley grabbed her arm lightly a minute, “You’re a good woman.”

“I hope so?” Kellie managed.

“Don’t ever be another Thaddeus to her.” Crowley handed her the drink Harriet had made, “You can be together, or break up, or wherever you’re going. But don’t ever hurt her like he did.”

“Sure.” She smiled, and tapped her glass to his own, “I’ll make you a promise.”

“Good.” He nodded, “In that case we will all get along famously. Angel will probably have invited you over Christmas day by the end of this.”

She laughed, “Oh my. I’ll look forward to the invite! You seem wonderful people to know!”

Crowley waited until she had gone to watch Freddie with his recorder before snorting, “If you knew…”

*

Aziraphale tired early in the afternoon, and Harriet took this as their cue to leave. Kellie was already extremely fond of Freddie, and the child loved having somebody new to show off to.

“Come again soo!” He shouted, followed by a shriek of joy at the motorbike engine revving.

“Come on you daft monster.” Crowley guided him back inside as the sound of the bike ebbed, “Your dad’s tired and you must be, too.”

“No Dad ‘m not!”

“You arguing?” Crowley asked lightly.

“Not tired.”

“But are you arguing?”

“No.” The boy tried, visibly working through the options he’d been given.

“You won’t object to a nap then.” Crowley chuckled, sweeping the boy up onto his shoulder, “C’mon sunshine.”

“Nooooo!” Squealed Freddie.

“I’ll let you watch bloody Moon and me later if you have your nap now.”

“Moonbaby…”

“Yeah. If you nap.”

“Deal!” The boy squeaked. Crowley kept him on his shoulder the whole way up the stairs regardless though.

*

Freddie settled, Crowley returned to the living room to tidy up. Aziraphale was lying on the sofa, propped up with cushions and seemingly dozing. He glanced up as Crowley collected glasses though, “Oh, Dear, I was going to.”

“You stay put.” The demon told him, “You look exhausted.”

Aziraphale chuckled, “I was awake at 3am getting my husband to come to bed.”

“Angel…”

“You care so much about solving this, Crowley.” The angel murmured, “But I need you sometimes, more so in the coming months.”

“Because you’re here, with our children.” The demon paraphrased himself, years before, “Yeah, I know.”

“Are you going to join me when you’ve put the glasses away?”

“I’ll make some tea first, but… sure.” Crowley replied, “Give me a minute.”

When he returned, two steaming mugs in hand, the Angel had straightened out a bit so Crowley could perch in front of his legs.

“You feeling calmer now?” the demon asked, “Even if you could have it you wouldn’t have needed Wine today.”

“Oh, it’s the gentle one. They’ve got such grace.” The angel beamed, “So much grace.” He put his mug on the side and leaned back theatrically, hands on his tummy, “Mm.” He wiggled, “It’s nice.”

Crowley sipped his coffee.

“It’s wonderful.” The angel continued, “But why on earth do you think she made me with an affinity for twins?”

“Foresaw the war, planned for repopulating?” Crowley mused.

“But why me? Lucien said there had been a few accidents up there while the sides work out how it's all going to work-”

Crowley snorted, “Heck of a way to have an accident, what, were they working on surveillance together and tripped?”

“No, I gather the younger ones have been allowed parties?”

Crowley froze, “Oh Satan, I can see it now. Inexperienced angels and demons, demons bring edibles, angels don't realise that shit is potent, before you know it it's like a frat party up there. And not one of those arses is going to sober up if they're having fun. At least demonic abortions will be quick.”

“Anthony Crowley!” Aziraphale snapped. He regained his composure and state of bliss in as much time as it took Crowley to realise his wine-fuelled mistake, “Anyway, every one apart from me appears to be expecting one child.”

“It's all that love.” Crowley replied, “You have enough love to make a couple at a time.”

“Surely that can't be the case Crowley, the youngsters are far less hammered into place than I was. They all love far more than the higher ups.”

“But not as much as you. When we make our children you positively glow with joy. You intend fully to make and take care of your children. You're not just fiddling about wondering what that switch in your brain does.”

“I suppose.”

“How does Lucien see it all? Have any of the archangels complained about the debauchery?”

“I think he's very amused.” Aziraphale smiled, “At least from what Jennet told me. Clever boy that he is though... He wants to call it new Eden up there.”

“Not terribly imaginative.”

“He is Gabriel's son, after all. I think we can turn a blind eye to lack of imagination.”

“Did you just throw shade, you bastard?” Crowley laughed. Aziraphale blushed, “Too far?”

“No!” Crowley chuckled, “Though the ass had one good idea at least.”

“Mm?”

“He flicked your switch on.”

Aziraphale blushed even harder, “I wasn't aware you were so overjoyed.”

“Sure it's not how I pictured retirement.” the demon smiled back at his husband, “But I did picture it indulging you.”


	19. Chapter 19

Things ticked along. The changing state of Earth continued. Nothing new of note emerged. Crowley paced while Aziraphale plotted maps. Anathema and her daughters continued to work at every avenue they could. But for Aziraphale, the most pressing issue in his life was that Freddie had found out that the bump was big enough that the Angel could sit him on it while he bustled around, and only have to hold him steady with one arm. So whenever Crowley wasn’t there to object, Freddie asked, and Aziraphale indulged him. Much as Crowley worried, and Aziraphale knew his corporeal back was going to ache for it, he couldn’t help but enjoy the only real way he had to hold the child who was fast growing out of being a toddler.

Crowley just gave him the long suffering stare of the person who would have to help him from the bath and massage his back later.

A fortnight into his 7th month, and a little nervous given how early Alice and Ariel had made their appearance, the angel was resting with a book in the window seat of his study. It wasn’t the most comfortable position he could be in, but it did allow Crowley to wrap himself around his husband, basking in the early afternoon sunshine as well as cuddling. So it had it’s practicalities.

He reached the end of his chapter with a contended sigh, and put the book to one side to listen to the birdsong and clumsy bumbling of bees outside. He made a note to thank Newt for the noise cancelling headphones Freddie was wearing, oblivious to that not being the reason for the quiet. He glanced at his son, mouthing the words to whatever he was listening to and practicing his air guitar. Without warning the lad leapt to his feet, the music reaching an impressive solo. So impressive that his siblings decided to join in, with movements rough enough to rouse their father.

“Ngk…” Crowley managed blearily as he settled his glasses back in position.

Then Freddie started to sing along, impressively throwing his voice for the full stereo effect. His siblings liked this more it seemed, making the Angel groan. Crowley saw the angel’s pained expression and, warm and sleepy, leapt into protective mode.

“Hey, if you’re having a rave in there I'll push up a glow sssstick!” He threatened with a hiss.

“You most certainly will not!” Aziraphale yelped, “Ah! Oh lord above!”

“Angel?!”

Freddie paused, blinking at his dad's obvious concern. Aziraphale was gripping his side in pain, Crowley was getting irate, and it seemed Aziraphale couldn't tell him what was up. Eventually the boy took his earphones off, “What's wrong?”

“Your siblings are getting violent with your dad.” Crowley growled, “Angel, Angel what is it? I know Conan is kicking but what is-”

“They're just dancing.” Freddie protested, “Don’t shout, they not naughty.”

“It's- it's all rather cramped to be dancing, Frederick dear.” Aziraphale managed between breaths.

Freddie looked at the bump thoughtfully. From where he was standing there was obviously an oddity in the shape to one side. He patted it, “You behave or no more music. Dad said.”

There was a pause and shift, before the uncomfortably white hot pressure in Aziraphale’s side relieved. He exhaled, “God almighty…”

“You don’t get to invoke her.” Crowley grumbled, before reaching to ruffle Freddie’s hair, “Think you need to cool that for a few weeks son, for your dad's sake.”  
“Didn’t mean it…” The boy managed, a little shaken by how pained his dad had been, “They hurt Daddy?”

“No, No, just for that moment. They moved now, it’s better.” Aziraphale managed.

“Did you wish for a backing band, eh sunshine?” Crowley joked. Freddie’s face creased up though, “I sorry! Didn’t ask, never hurt Daddy!” The boy burst into tears. Aziraphale leaned forward to pull him into his usual place, “Frederick, my dear, your father didn’t mean it, we know you wouldn’t, it’s alright.” The angel’s eyes were welling up at the boy’s tears, “Freddie, dear child.”

“Sorry son.” Crowley nuzzled his cheek gently with his nose, “I didn’t mean to say you were to blame!”

“I be good.” The boy whimpered, “Won’t play till babies here.”

“Oh love.” Aziraphale sighed, “You just have to play less allegro fortissimo.”

“Oh.” Freddie said softly.

“You can’t help it. And you’re going to be such a good big brother.” Crowley murmured, “You’re going to be amazing.”

Aziraphale kissed the boy’s cheek, “Maybe it’s nap time, my darling child.”

“We’re going to have to be careful with him. He understands so much more than he lets on.” The angel murmured as they stood at his door later, watching him sleep.

“Would help if this pair weren’t so quick to join in.” Crowley murmured.

“They’re eager.”

“Hopefully not Lex levels of Eager.” The demon snorted, “Want them better prepared for life than our quarter century pair were when they arrived.”

Aziraphale was looking down at himself, his expression serious, “I don’t know what happened. I suppose they tried to somersault. But there’s no room, not for that anyway. And the other was so frantic at being squashed.”

“Maybe you should have some drinking chocolate and have a lie down too.” The demon advised, “I expected you to pass out on me again.” 

“It’s getting uncomfortable.” The angel admitted.

“Not surprised with your back.”

“No. I mean.” The angel gestured at his front, “I’m restricted, and pressured, and it doesn’t make sleeping easy.”

“You going to be alright?”

“I will have to be. For them.”

*

It didn’t get better, even with Freddie being on his best and most restrained behaviour, an amazing feat that Crowley was sure to make sure the boy knew.

One night as they entered month 8, Crowley woke for the third time in the space of 2 hours, each time thanks to his husband getting up.

“Angel?” He murmured as Aziraphale returned to bed with a glass of water.

“Sorry I woke you dear.” The angel didn’t even have it in him at this point to pretend there was any possibility he wasn’t behind his husband being awake.

“Y'alright?”

“Apart from the usual?” The angel snorted, “Little... little odd.” He patted his chest, “New thing. Heartburn? Reflux? I think humans call it?”

Crowley pulled a face. He’d known humans who’d had the issues, but it had to be bad to have Aziraphale getting up through the night. He lay with the angel for some time, cuddling, murmuring, soothing, but despite best efforts, his husband continued to be uncomfortable.

Eventually Crowley gazed at the clock - 3am - and sighed, “Change tactics Angel.”

“Hm?”

Crowley went to the ensuite, and began to run the bath. Aziraphale rocked back and forth a few times until he could get up, “Crowley, what on earth-”

“C'mon angel.” Crowley stepped in and offered his hands to help. Aziraphale took off his sleep clothes before doing so, “Dear, this is far too deep, it will - oh.”

The water didn't overspill as they sank down into the bath. Aziraphale sighed happily.

“Not quite Zero G for your aches and pains, but supportive.” Crowley hissed, clicking his fingers and handing Aziraphale a mug where he reclined happily in his husband’s lap, “And peppermint tea for the heartburn.”

“Thank you so much dear.”

“Anything for you, you old bastard, you know that.”

*

“You know the volcano at Yellowstone has gone silent?” Jennet was saying.

“That is interesting.” Aziraphale replied, tapping the rubber on the end of his pencil on the desk, “That’s… Hrm. I’m not sure how it could be related, but I’ll note it regardless. The equator is South of there, I suppose it’s not too far a reach that the volcanic hot spots have shifted?”

“We’ll have to wait and see if Equator and Pole volcanoes increase activity.” The girl nodded, “On TV they were worried this was a Pole shift. How are they all so blind, Daddy?”

Aziraphale had leaned back a little in his chair, pressing to remove a limb from pushing so hard on his side, “Dear, I wish I knew. Your father thought that…” He paused, and smiled warmly at the phrase, “Your father thought maybe a higher power was blinding them to it. That only those who were sensitive to the forces beyond would notice. And to be honest, for the longest time even your dear mother and sister didn’t notice. And we keep to ourselves for the most part, so…”

Jennet nodded, but her eyes had noticed a little movement of the Angel’s soft cotton shirt. Aziraphale chuckled, holding out a hand to take hers and position it, “There you go, dear. That ones your fellow Guardian.” 

“Ow.” The girl giggled at a kick, “And the other?”

“A little quiet.” The angel sighed, “Since a couple of weeks ago when they tried to somersault and ran out of room.”

Jennet frowned. Aziraphale patted her hand, “They’re okay. I can sense them both. Your mother panicked when I mentioned that, too. So many things that can go wrong with wrigglers.” He chuckled conspiratorially, “But no. You check, you should be able to tell.”

The girl moved her hand towards the other side, “Oh! They’re there, I hear them.”

“Hear them?” The angel paused, “What do they..?”

“Not words.” The girl said, “They just… they feel like moving. Every muscle. Every limb. They feel cramped and want to run free. And they’re a bit bruised up from the other. But they’re there.”

Aziraphale sighed blissfully.

“Are you okay Daddy?” The girl asked, “You look tired.”

“Dear.” The angel chuckled, “I will be fine at such a point as I can rest when I need to, not because I’m too tired to go on and had too many broken nights. I want them as close as possible to October… But I will have to pay the price to do that.”

“I won’t have to do anything like this, will I?” The girl asked, “For the plan?”

“I don’t know more than the lord, Jennet.” Aziraphale replied, “But if there’s any justice in Lucien’s new frontier then you shouldn’t have to. If I could I would take you away from that, the same as any of your siblings.”

He tilted his head. A gold freckle flashed by the girl’s eye.

“You’re breaking through, dear.” He murmured, “What did you tell your father about the red hair?”

“Mama told him it was just the angel coming through. Not why I’m a red head, with gold eyes and freckles.” She murmured, “I’m not sure I like hiding it from him. I love my Papa. He always did his best for us.”

“I’m sure one day you’ll be able to tell him.” Aziraphale said, patting her hand gently, “And I’m sure he would never think any different of you for who you are, or were.”

“But everybody knows except him. I mean of our families.” Jennet managed, “I don’t like him being the only one left out, Daddy.”

“Ah…” Aziraphale nodded. He had suspected Anathema knew, but this confirmed it.

“You need to tell your mother how you feel.” He told her, “And make sure when you tell him, that you tell him how much you love him, and how much he is your dad.”

“How did you get so wise?” The girl chuckled, “Mom said you both used to be hopeless.”

“Something happened.” The angel smiled warmly, “We unexpectedly became parents. If we hadn’t have sat down together, and learned a thing or two about talking to each other, we could have lost 6 thousand years of love and friendship.”

“And Gabriel did that to you?”

“Yes.”

“Why? He didn’t like it when it happened to him.”

“You only saw Heaven as it was once, and I suspect you didn’t stray from the workshop while you were there.”

“I-I don’t really remember.”

“Another lifetime ago. Heaven wasn’t forgiving, and Heaven wasn’t there to be kind. I suppose Gabriel was swept up with the idea that the great plan, that Armageddon, that the final fight against Lucifer and destruction of this planet as it went, were what the lord wanted. He wanted to do ‘right’ by her. And Adam – with myself and Crowley – stood in the way. He had looked after me in his own way, I suppose. He did cover for some of my misdemeanours. He wasn’t a terrible boss, not like the other Archangels would have been. But from where he stood, I wasn’t a very good Angel. And I needed punishing for that.”

“He couldn’t think for himself.”

“I suppose. And when he could… he had no practise. He didn’t know what to do, only that he found his situation deplorable. I must confess… I would like to meet him again my dear. Not now – he doesn’t need a reminder of how he fell from her favour. But in the future. I would like to know that he was… happier.”

“I can see why Dad says you were the only good Angel back then.” She smiled, “Daddy, if I talk to Dad… will you talk to Gabriel?”

Aziraphale smiled, “If I can find him, yes.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally clicked post instead of save as draft while editing, so... here you go, bonus chapter this week?

Another week. Aziraphale groaned as he lay in bed. He couldn't get comfortable. He ached. He couldn't move for the sleepy demon who happened to have fallen asleep with arms around his middle.

“Crowley.” He moaned at length. Crowley nuzzled at his side, perfectly content with where he was.

“Dear. Please, I need to move off my hip.”

“-Iraphale...”

“Crowley, please...” The angel squeaked as Crowley rolled onto his back, taking his husband with him. He gasped at the shift in pressures and whimpered. Maybe enough was enough, “You can come whenever you like. You’re nearly term and I'm exhausted.”

Of course, now he had to use the loo. Somehow, now he was atop the snoring snake demon, he was able to shift slowly free of his grip. He limped as much as waddled across the room, pins and needles robbing him of the feeling in his hip entirely.

Crowley woke, or perhaps he’d only been half asleep to start with. He worried at his lip while the angel was in the bathroom. His husband was exhausted; He’d lost count of how many times he’d woken up this week alone to find him tossing and turning. He was so uncomfortable, and much as the demon didn’t want the children to arrive early, he was getting more and more concerned that Aziraphale wouldn't be able to deliver them without the help of a human hospital at this rate.

The angel gave him a weary smile as he returned to bed, “Sorry dear. Did I wake you?”

“No, your tossing and turning did that.” Crowley replied, “what would you say to a miracle to get that pair moving?”

“Oh no Crowley!” Aziraphale replied, “That must be forbidden on some level - it's like abortion!”

“It is not like abortion.” Crowley snorted, “If they arrived now on their own they'd be fine.”

“Its... I don't like the idea. If we hurt them...” The angel flumped heavily at the end of the bed and listed backwards, “I could never forgive myself.”

“Fair enough. Don’t think I would forgive myself either, though I wouldn’t blame you.”

“But I am tired...”

Crowley played with his hair soothingly, “No shit. How about some human old wives tales?”

“I don't think these two are the reading sort.”

Crowley snorted, “Angel... you know what I mean. Spicy food, castor oil...” He chuckled, “Sex...”

“Crowley, I doubt you can find where to put it right now, there’s rather a lot of me in the way remember.”

Crowley snorted, “Oh I know where to put it.” He leapt over his husband nimbly, grabbing his ankles and manoeuvring him closer to the end of the bed, “Shall we try?”

Aziraphale’s expression was complicated, but eventually he nodded, “Please, Dear.”

“I believe that's the first time you’ve begged me for sex since the week of bookshop floor hell.”

“And just when did I beg?”

“Your expression just then, Angel.' Crowley chuckled, “C'mon, let me look after you. Efforts away!”

“You did not just say that…” The angel moaned.

*

“Of course it wouldn’t work.” Aziraphale groaned to himself. They had been trying to encourage the twins to arrive for a fortnight, and nothing had worked. Crowley put his head around the door, “No better?”

The angel shook his head as best he could from the hot bath, “And I wish you would stop being so cheerful.”

“Need a rest?”

“Sleep would be good. Perhaps you could stun me with a brick?”

“I don’t trust your reflexes not to hit me back.” Crowley quipped, “C'mon then. Gimmie your hand.”

“Crowley?”

“Angel. You need sleep.”

“So does my body though.”

“So let me do it! I'm a champion sleeper.”

Aziraphale pulled a face, then nodded, “Alright. But… help me out the bath first?”

*

Crowley swiftly came to regret his offer. Aziraphale’s soul needed rest because the drain from the twins wasn’t being replenished by sleep. But his body needed to rest too. The demon felt like this should have been easy for him. He was swiftly learning quite how drained his husbands corporation was though. He sat up in bed, propped up with pillows, and gazed at his own body, sprawled in a manner that must have been uncomfortable but equally was blissfully coma inducing for Aziraphale.

The only trouble was that *he* couldn’t sleep.

*He* couldn’t!

At length he slowly, carefully clambered into a standing position in bed using the headboard, and placed both hands on the wall.

He realised he couldn’t even hug the wall to his front as was his favourite sleepless position. Instead he had to stick to it as best he could, climbing up and pushing his back against it like a magnet.

That was no good, the pressure on his bladder was too much now.

After yet another trip to the facilities, he hit upon another idea.

The ceiling was far more comfortable, the pull on the skin of his tummy making it itch, but at least the pressure was off the Angel’s insides. He actually had a good couple of hours sleep up there.

Until the guardian twin woke up anyway.

He dropped onto the bed below in shock at the rude awakening, and only a split second before he hit the mattress did he think to flip onto his back.

And now he was back where he started. He glanced across to Aziraphale, who hadn’t even stirred for the bounce of the mattress.

“One night.” He told himself, “Just one night, to let Angel rest.”

The trouble was, Aziraphale was exhausted in his true self. He didn’t wake the next morning, or the next night. Crowley spent another miserable night on the ceiling.

By the fourth night, the demon was fraught with the lack of sleep, “Angel, please.” He shook his body roughly, “It’s almost… October. I think. Angel…” He hated whining, but now he was desperate for some sleep, the better to help his husband when labour actually happened.

“Angel, one of them is bruising your kidneys, I don’t know how to stop them. And you need those kidneys… for wine.”

No response. The demon pulled a face and grabbed his own earlobe, saying very slowly and clearly into it, “Angel… I’m going to set fire to some Tartan if you don’t wake up right this minute!”

With that he sank to his knees on the floor, and from there sat heavily down with his back to the bed, “Angel… are you going to wake up in time for them to arrive?”

He nearly jumped out of his skin with a shriek when a hand touched his shoulder, “Of course I was going to, what do you take me for?”

Wide eyed, he watched his body uncurl from the foetal position it had ironically occupied for the last couple of days and nights, and before even looking at his husband, Aziraphale offered him his hand, “I see it wasn’t quite as easy to sleep as you thought, my dear.”

Crowley grabbed the offered hand like a starving dog, and settled happily into bed as Aziraphale stretched a little, hands on his middle, “Hrm. Have you been sleeping on the ceiling by any chance?”

*

A little refreshed in himself, Aziraphale finally gave in one morning a few days later to Freddie’s plea to make bread Dinosaurs. They were up early, and left Crowley snoozing.

“What you really seem to want to make dear, is Gojira.” The angel sighed after explaining for the umpteenth time why bread dough didn’t really allow for 3D dinosaurs with spines on their back.

“Jira not dinosaur? Why?”

“It really was never my department, Freddie.” he sighed as he mixed a fresh batch of dough “I mean, I wasn't exactly engaged in the design department. I remember there was a lot of debate about the order rainbows go in…” He paused at his own remark.

“Ceratops!” his son announced, presenting a horned baguette, the ‘horns’ already attempting to escape.

“Ah, now, I think they were a bit dumpier. Don’t you have a book your father brought back from his travels?”

Crowley meanwhile was exhausted. Not only was he still suffering the lack of sleep hangover from a few nights before, but keeping tabs on Aziraphale suddenly seemed to have become extremely hard. If he had been bad with Freddie, since his sleep he had become terrible with the twins. It was as though he were tempting fate. Perhaps some part of him was, out of desperation. Or perhaps this was finally nesting, he pondered as he stood in the doorway in despair at the sight of his high risk, nearly 36 weeks gone with twins husband standing from bending down to the oven and hoisting their 3 and a half year old son right up on top of his middle.

“Angel what the heck, I know you want them to come but…”

“We're baking, Dear!” Aziraphale replied brightly.

“I keep telling you.” The demon grumbled, and clicked his fingers to lift the oven up to a more useful height, “You need to be careful.”

“Dada, no shout.” Freddie complained, “Me and babies wanted dinosaurs.”

“Frederick, I would have helped, your Daddy needs to be careful so the babies don't get hurt if they come early.”

Neither of them were listening, even with Crowley using Freddie’s full first name. Aziraphale had scrunched his nose up, bumping it against Freddie’s, and the boy was squealing in joy.

Crowley sighed. Even he couldn't yell when his Angel and their son were so bloody adorable.

“Fine. I’m going out, to find something designed to make you scream.” The demon turned, “If you’re intent on getting them out by any means necessary we may as well have some fun while we do it.” 

He strode out, only one big frustrating thing on his mind, which wasn't the grubby looking figure in the tree by the Eastern gate. 


	21. Chapter 21

With the dinosaurs baked and cooling in the pantry, Aziraphale got him and his son both a drink and they went outside. The angel briefly paused, something nipping at his senses. A flurry of activity from his middle distracted him, and he continued towards the garden furniture. Freddie had got out his toys and was playing in his sandpit, and Aziraphale, warm and sleepy on the lounger under the sunshade, was happy.

At length the child came running over, and Aziraphale struggled to sit up. It was 11am and he was already exhausted, as well as feeling slow and fed up with all this, so he hefted Freddie up onto the bump as usual and handed him his drink. Freddie bounced lightly as he sat on his knees, legs gripping his dad’s tummy firmly.

“Lemonade!” He announced as he finished, and dropped the empty cup on the table alongside. Aziraphale chuckled, “Drank it all already?”

“Mmhm.”

“Maybe we should nap, and wait for your father to come back. Then we can try your dinosaurs.”

“Yeah!” the boy wrapped his arms as much as he could around his dad, “Sleepy time.”

At a safe distance, a pair of scruffy hands peeled apart the bushes.

“That one?”

“Mm. That’s the one went nuts on the battlefield.”

“How d’you want to do this?”

“Well.” There was a chuckle, “Word has it all the brats have a weakness.”

*

Freddie wasn’t sleepy. He appreciated his dad might be though, so he lay still until he was sure he was dozing before sliding down off the top of the bump. He sang lightly to himself, making his way down the garden towards his tricycle.

A robin was whistling a short, sharp call in the tree above him, and the boy was delighted, calling out to the bird in response.

There was a whistle. Freddie spun on his heels, shrieking delightedly. In the bushes, the whistler’s companion joined in, a tuneful sound with a sweep of notes in it. Freddie ran to the bushes, hunting down the line, “Birb? Where birb?!”

Aziraphale opened his eyes just in time to see a dirty, clawed hand close on his son’s leg and drag him into the bush, the boy’s laughter becoming a short shriek of panic.

*

Crowley stood in a shop not quite as far away as he had planned. He’d planned to go to London, to one of the more specialist shops there, but he’d ended up in a back alley in Chichester instead. In the future he’d wonder if somebody in the know had nudged him to turn that way instead.

It was like a sixth sense he’d had with Aziraphale, from at least the Ark or the Crucifixion onwards. Somehow, whenever his now husband was doing something ridiculous that was about to land him in trouble, something buzzed in his brain, tingling his nerves. He’d learnt to recognise that feeling, honed it over the years.

So it was that the instant Aziraphale’s wings lifted him from the seat with enough force to push him halfway across the garden, Crowley felt like he’d just been hit with a brick in the ear. He dropped the little bags they were using here instead of shopping baskets, and flew from the shop without a single human seeing him leave.

When Aziraphale’s ears strained for sound, his true self exerting forces unseen on the world around him, peeling back the trees and bushes without a thought, Crowley was sprinting down the street for the Bentley as fast as he thought he’d ever run in his life.

When blue flame curled around Aziraphale’s raised arm as he took in the 2 demons holding his son by the arms between them as though he were a rag doll, and when one demon looked him in the eye and yanked the boy's arm, eliciting a scream, a different warning entirely sounded in Crowley’s brain. The 6-winged Behemoth monstrosity had a very clear atmospheric marker, almost a ripple in space.

Crowley tasted blue flame, and floored the Bentley so hard the exit barrier didn’t have time to register its existence as it passed cleanly through it.

Aziraphale didn't pause. He was before the intruders – demons, he thought - in an instant, bearing down on them in the fiery fury of an avenging angel with all the heart of a parent hearing their child's pain. An extra pair of arms gripped Freddie's shoulders, while his own yanked hard on those of the demon's.

There were two grotesque pops, and the demons began to shriek and wail. Freddie was held by one set of his dad's arms, shrieking as much in pain and fear as the idea that his father was far too frightening for him right now.

“DO NOT TOUCH HIM.” Aziraphale boomed at the two. They cowered. Freddie began to wail hysterically.

“GET OUT.” The angel gripped the demons and lifted them like nothing, flinging them both over the high wall that sat behind the trees and bushes. He let the bushes fall back as he turned back to the house and paused. His corporeal heart was hammering fit to burst. And then…

He fell to his knees at the intense, burning cramp in his core. Freddie, having been dropped gently on the grass, heard his dad's panicked, “No, no, no, please not now.” And risked a look.

Aziraphale was back to normal, but hunched over on the ground in agony. Internally he could hear and feel the cracks in his corporation as it tried to fold back one extremely irate Behemoth.

“…Daddy?” Freddie whispered hoarsely. Aziraphale drew himself up, gazing with petrol slick eyes at his son’s wide golden ones, “I'm here Freddie. I’m here. I won't let anything harm you... ahhh...” He shakily, slowly got to his feet, “Frederick my darling, we need to get back indoors.”

The boy gazed at his dad for a moment, visibly shaken, but reached to take his father’s hand, leading him back towards the house. As soon as they stepped through the French doors Aziraphale bolted them tight, checking the seals. Then the next wave of pain took his breath away, dropping him to his knees again.

Freddie swallowed before he approached, a hand touching the angel’s shoulder, “Daddy..?”

“It’s okay. It’s okay Freddie.” Aziraphale breathed hard, “We’re safe in here.” He sat back against the kitchen cabinets, “Oh… Oh Lord this is it, isn't it.” He tried to remember where he had left the phone, his first thought being Crowley. Freddie patted at his hand gently, obviously distressed.

Aware he would struggle, the angel made to ask Freddie to fetch the phone, but then he couldn't suppress a shriek at a shock of pain. Freddie whimpered, burying his head in his dad's shoulder. Aziraphale managed to look down, “Oh. Oh dear.” He stroked his son’s ginger hair, “Freddie, I need your help dear, do you know where the phone is?”

“Living room Daddy.” Freddie looked down, “Euuuu... smells.”

“Yes dear. I’m afraid I've made a mess.”

“Daddy had an accident?”

Aziraphale snorted, “Yes. I suppose I did. Again.” He paused, “I need to mop that up. Can you get the phone for me, please my dear?”

“Daddy be okay?”

“I hope, dear boy. But I need to tell your father what's happened.”

As Freddie’s little footsteps moved down the hall, Aziraphale attempted to stand. It was an absolute failure. He gasped at more pain, then he noticed the hand towel hanging off a cupboard handle.

He pushed himself slowly towards it, pulling it down to sit on. Needs must.

Once, the angel would never have thought he'd be in this situation again, let alone as badly off as his panic suggested he was. The twins were at least not as early as his beloved then-girls had been, but he was still alone apart from a very hyperactive and frightened 3 year old.

“Frederick, dear.” He managed, “Have you got it?”

“Got it.” The boy cried as he ran back into the kitchen, into his arms. Aziraphale groaned in pain, staring at the phone before realising in his current state he could hardly remember how to use the damn thing. He handed it back to Freddie, “Could you call your father for me please?”

“Dada!” Freddie grinned, pleased to be allowed the phone. He worked it perfectly, smiling at the keypad tones and losing himself a moment, pressing them to make a tune. Aziraphale gazed up despairingly, “Frederick.” He managed a stern voice for once, “I asked you to call your father.”

“Sorry.” The boy realised, pressing more buttons before holding the phone to his ear. Aziraphale tried to clean up the rest of the unexpected mess with the bits of the towel he wasn’t sat on.

“Daddy!” Freddie squeaked, “Daddy there was a man well two mans and-”

“Freddie, this is very important.” Aziraphale managed, “Are you listening?”

“Yes Daddy.”

“Tell him they're coming.”

“Babies coming dad!” Freddie shrieked.

“And... wherever he is.” The angel paused with a moan, “Tell him situation is Lex.”

Freddie squealed his message. Aziraphale heard the volume of Crowley’s voice increase. Then he sagged unhappily back against the cupboard, “I can't do this alone Crowley.”

“Daddy.” Freddie managed suddenly, appearing in his field of vision.

“Son?”

“Angel?” Aziraphale could barely hear the phone. He cried out at another pain, “Ahh!”

“Angel. Listen.” The voice got louder. Either Freddie had pushed the phone to his ear or he’d turned the speaker on.

“Are you listening?”

Aziraphale felt like he was losing consciousness.

“Angel, remember, your hips, your breathing, I’m not far but I’ll call Anathema too.”

Parts of what his husband was saying filtered in. Hips… right. That was the important part. If only he could focus on anything but the roaring behemoth that inhabited this corporation…

“I’m going to go now Angel, I’ve got to call the others. I’m coming.”

“Mother.” The angel managed, “Mother I can’t…”


	22. Chapter 22

Crowley tried not to panic. While overtaking a police car at a speed usually reserved for breaking the sound barrier, he temporarily forgot how to ask his phone to start a conference call and accidentally wound up possessing a variety of phones instead.

Anathema looked at the wild face protruding comically from her antique handset, listened to his plea to get to Aziraphale, and made a mental note to cross off prophecy 3227 as that finally made a whole lot more sense.

Harriet was astounded at the realism of the image on her mobile, and wondered just what sort of camera Anthony had on his phone as she made her way to the cottage.

Newt screamed.

*

Aziraphale’s vision was swimming. Something was taking a lot of energy from him considering he was lying on the floor in a puddle.

“Daddy?” Freddie’s face was peering down at him, “The lady said just this once, but is the last time.”

“The lady-” the angel shrieked at a different pain, one that immediately zapped him from his stupor. He was… He was on the kitchen floor. Freddie was crying. He was – that’s right, they were-

A warm drop of raw energy had been granted him. To hold the behemoth back. And to…

“Oh…” The relief was palpable as his corporeal form changed slightly, pelvis tilted and widened, and as for an exit point deep inside, well…

“You’re serious?” He managed, “That fast?”

He spasmed, his scream briefly rattling the windows as a roar.

“No, you have to – to hold it – all together.” He told himself, “Breathing. Everything’s open. Everything’s ready. Just. Breathing. And holding myself back.” There was a sharp pain in his side, “You have to do this, Aziraphale. You can’t turn until they’re safe.”

And yet!

“But… Crowley!”

He heard a whimper, and saw that Freddie had taken cover under the dining table.

“Frederick.” He managed, “Please, son. I’m sorry. I know. I’m scary right now. Please. I need – I need you to-” he gritted his teeth at a contraction that was unlike any he’d experienced as yet. There was tearing all over his body, and handfuls of tiny anomalies popped into being in the air around him.

“I need. You. To. Wait. To answer. The door.”

“Daddy?”

“Go in the hall. Answer the door if you know them. Please, Freddie.” A crack of electricity seemed to run through him, and he felt tears as he held on, held on.

“Go on. For the babies. And for me.”

The boy made to go, but paused at the door.

“And close the door.” There was a flicker of something else on the angel’s face, and the boy slammed the door in fear, leaving the angel silently crying, head thrown back against the cupboards as he held back the roaring tide of the Behemoth. 

*

Lucien was rummaging in a box in a vast warehouse. He came out with a huge book, though he held and leafed through it as though it were a pamphlet.

“You never told me Unicorns were real.” He admonished, “I thought the closest was Unibear!”

“Zzzzz you did not azzzk.” Beelzebub replied.

Lucien dropped the construction manual suddenly. The heavy thud echoed in the vast multidimensional spaces.

“Oh.”

“What is it?” Michael asked, at the boy’s expression.

“We’re needed.”

“Is that so?” The angel frowned.

“That’s where you got to.” Sandalphon’s nasal voice called over, “We’ve just had a couple of discorporated demons returned to us, Sir. We have nobody stationed on earth except those two breeders…”

Lucien inhaled slowly, “We’re needed.” He repeated, “Not immediately. But soon.”

“But the manuals-” Michael started.

“Stuff the manuals, if somebody has enough power to get to my ear to whisper in it, I’m going to listen to them!” the boy replied, whirling on his heel, “I’m going to the throne room. Sandalphon, bring me those two demons. Something doesn’t feel right.”

*

The door opened again. Aziraphale moaned. He was seated, legs crossed and head against the cupboard doors, and at least in quiet he was able to focus on holding it all in.

A soft footfall barely caught his attention. Freddie climbing into his lap and onto the bump did.

“Daddy?”

“Freddie?” The angel murmured, “I thought you were staying safe.” He waved a hand, dispersing a small gravitational issue, “It’s not safe for you here.”

“But Daddy…” The boy sniffed, burying his head in the angel’s shirt, “Daddy…”

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” The angel murmured, “Ohhhhh… I hope your father is quick.”

Freddie reached to hug at his father’s neck, “What can I do?”

“You’re a good boy, my dear.” Came the weak reply, “You’ve done so well already. Just… ah… listen for the door, dear. I need help. I can’t do this alone.”

“I’m here.”

“Yes, but…” Aziraphale opened his eyes a moment, meeting Freddies. He smiled kindly, “Yes, you’re here. And you’re a great help. But I think we need your dad’s help, too. And Auntie Ana. Please, son. I’m not safe for you right now. If I hurt you… I’ll never forgive myself.”

He moved his hands from where they gripped his middle, to his son’s shoulders, “Listen out for the door, little Angel.” He breathed hard. He’d had no real time to work up to the already strong contractions, and his distracted powers scrambled to prepare him – to not hurt the twins, to not hurt himself, to not hurt Freddie – while all the time he whispered Crowley’s name like a mantra.

Freddie began to sing. His voice was clear, like a choir boy, and it helped to focus on something that wasn’t the effort he was putting into holding his corporation together.

*

Harriet had picked up Anathema on route, seeing her hurrying down the road and guessing where she was bound, “Called you too, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Not sure why he was so panicked. I mean Azira has had children before-”

“Not on his own though.” Anathema replied, “It must be daunting.”

“Yes, I suppose you're right. I just wanted far fewer people around me when Warlock was born.”

They reached the cottage quickly. Anathema knocked, and paused.

“Something doesn’t feel right.”

She knocked again, louder. When a reply was not forthcoming, she bent to open the letterbox, “Hello?”

Golden eyes stared back at her, “Auntie Ana!”

“Freddie, where is your dad?”

The boy pulled a face, “Daddy is in kitchen crying for Dada.” The boy smiled, and the door creaked open, “Auntie Harriet! Have a new whistle to show you!”

“That's nice Freddie.” Harriet immediately took charge of the child.

“Bu first I got to check.” The boy ran off towards the kitchen. The women bustled after him, to find him patting his dad's blonde hair, “Daddy mustn’t cry ‘cos he made a mess. I’ll make more mess so Daddy's mess doesn't look so bad.”

Aziraphale managed a weak chuckle, “Please don't Freddie. Don't want more work, dear.”

Freddie beamed at his dad's weak smile, “Brought aunties.”

“So you have.” He tensed, “Oh my dear.” He lifted the boy onto his chest, “Clever boy.”

“I'll get some towels.” Anathema told Harriet, “I don't think he'll make it upstairs in that state.”

“I'll try and make him comfortable then.” Harriet managed. She paused at a movement, “Oh.” She moved closer, reaching to touch something her senses were telling her was there but her eyes couldn’t entirely see.

“Don’t.” Aziraphale warned. She glanced at his face, the dark, blank eyes, the ghost of something changing his features briefly.

“Jesus christ.” She covered her mouth, “Azira honey, what – what’s the matter with-?”

Freddie jumped as his dad tensed with an inhuman snarl, but held on tight to his neck, “I’m here Daddy.”

“Freddie, is he – is your dad alright?”

“Is dad.” Freddie said, as if that explained everything.

Anathema had returned, and was dragging the dining table out of the way. She stood back a moment, assessing, taking in everything that was abnormal about the angel, then stepped forward to check his eyes, and grimaced tightly.

“What is-?” Harriet managed, “Is this how he-?”

“No.” Anathema replied, “This is completely different to how he should be. Freddie, can you come away so I can check the twins?”

“What- what should I-?” Harriet managed.

“Keep Freddie out of it.” The occultist told her.

Aziraphale coughed, his mouth dry, “Anathema. Be careful.” He flicked something she could only vaguely see away.

“Aziraphale, you do get yourself into trouble.” She told him fondly but worriedly, “Crowley isn’t far.”

“Crowley.” The angel managed, “Hanging on for Crowley…”

“I don’t think that’s sensible-”

“Hanging. On. For. Crowley.” The angel repeated firmly.

“Alright. Though you are obviously coming apart and if you don’t let go of them you’ll likely destroy all of you. You understand that?”

“Crowley’s not far.” The angel parroted.

“Let’s hope he wasn’t exaggerating.” Anathema sighed.

Harriet stepped forwards suddenly, realising something she could do, “Can I get you a tea, Azira honey?'

The angel gazed up at her weakly, “That would be lovely-thank you so much.” He twitched a little, and took Freddie’s hand gently when the boy leaned in to stroke his hair, “Just need your father here now my dear child.”

*

Crowley reached the front door shaking, and stumbled through it, “Angel!?”

“In here.” Anathema called. She sounded relieved. Crowley made his way in, trying to look cool. Harriet waved at him, sat on the floor holding the angel’s hand. Freddie was in his lap and Anathema had got a fleece blanket under him and was peeling his clothes away despite his insistence he needed to wait for his husband.

“Angel.” Crowley was appalled at the state of him. His eyes were dark, his corporation’s skin cracked like porcelain in places, showing hints of gold and silver light from within (that was the angel part of him, though there were some horrible places where the cracking had instead caused bleeding of the human skin. It was in his hair and had trickled down his temple in place of sweat) – and he seemed to be, as he was that first time he’d seen him after Gabriel switched his ability to conceive on – causing warping in the space and the time around him.

“Crowley...” Aziraphale snapped out of his distraction when he walked in, “I-I dissuaded them a bit. They're still eager.”

“Course they are, they're mine.” He managed, moving around the group to huddle to Aziraphale’s other side and clutch his free hand, “What – what is-” he thwapped at a miniscule black hole, “What the hell is happening here?!”

“Hurts.” Aziraphale replied.

“I’m not surprised. Why are you – wait a minute, Device.” Crowley clambered in front of his husband, pressing their foreheads together.

Aziraphale tensed in a panic, his eyes briefly returning to normal, “No, No, Can’t-”

“Let me see.”

“No.”

“Excuse me.” Anathema eased the Demon aside, “Aziraphale, you can stop holding on.”

“Yes.” The angel managed.

Crowley sank back to his husband’s side, “Angel, what have you done?”

“Had to.” He turned his head, wide eyed, “Had to.”

“I’m going to have to trust that, aren’t I?” He kissed his husband’s cheek and gripped his hand, “I’m here. Let those kids loose.” His eyes fell on their son, watching him and holding onto his dad’s shoulder. The boy was covered in grass stains, and had leaves in his hair. He shrugged this off.

“Hey Freddie, you looking after your dad?”

“Yes Dad.” Freddie smiled, “I’m gon’ stay n see babies!”

“Oh son, it's going to get messy.”

“Is already messy!” The boy squeaked stubbornly, “Daddy made a stinky paddling pool!”

Aziraphale managed to choke out a laugh, blushing in embarrassment, “Freddie...”

“I'm not sure you should be here, young man.” Crowley told him.

“Daddy...” The boy complained.

“He can stay.” Aziraphale murmured, “If it gets too much though Frederick, you go out with Harriet and watch the...” He gasped, gripping his stomach, “Yes I know. Yes. Dad’s back. You’re good.”

Crowley squeezed his hand, “Angel...”

“We had to wait for you, dear.”

“And if you’ve hurt yourself…”

Aziraphale managed a soft smile. Crowley took that moment to push his own aura against his husbands, “I’m going to help. Because you look like you’re going to discorporate.”

The angel’s worried expression gave way to relief as his husband’s metaphysical form locked claws with the behemoth, pushing it back, “Not yet, angry boy. Later.” He snarled.

The beast raged, but it seemed different somehow, as if it had been raging for some time. Weaker. Less able to push back.

“There’s a good Angelic beast.” He murmured, pushing this worry to the back of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise you there will be babies next chapter 💕


	23. Chapter 23

Lending his power to help Aziraphale, Crowley found himself struggling to cope. He would always look back on this birth and only be able to remember the noise. Aziraphale could barely speak a word without snarling, almost entirely out of it with agony and exhaustion, and unintentionally rattling the windows in their frames and the doors on their hinges. Freddie was asking far too many questions, and not enough of them referred to his siblings. Harriet and Anathema would answer as best they could. And everybody seemed to be crying. 

Crowley almost blew his top, the noise drawing his attention in all directions while his rational mind wanted to concentrate on his husband. It was the angel’s look of recognition that stopped him finally from snarling at their son after the umpteenth ridiculous question, this time about Aziraphale’s shimmering golden stretch marks. He could just make out the hissed whisper of his beloved, “Our son is not a plant.”

“Just as infuriating as one right now.” He hissed in return.

Despite the mess and tension, it wasn’t long before Aziraphale was trying to stand, not really comfortable on the cold tiles and needing the assistance of gravity. He let go of all the hands, gripping the edge of the sink hard and muttering through a contraction. Anathema swapped places with Crowley, “Think you should be the one doing this, you’re experienced enough.”

Crowley didn’t argue. He settled in front of the angel, murmuring support and trying to ignore the blood that was already all over the towels.

Before long he was overjoyed to see a head appearing. He cradled it, turned the shoulders a little to aid passage, and in a matter of minutes he was clicking a cord clipped and cut, and towelling off a chubby little blonde girl with shining, at present fully golden eyes.

There was a pause, silence reigning apart from Aziraphale’s little puffs of breath.

“Oooh.” Freddie said, wowed.

The girl took a breath, and began to cry.

“Angel.” Crowley breathed, “Angel, a girl.”

A flailing foot caught him in the cheek as he made to lift her.

“Ack!” He exclaimed, “Satan below, Angel, here’s our Guardian.”

“Oh…” Aziraphale managed a captivated smile at the proffered infant, “You are beautiful.” He reached one shaking hand to cup her cheek gently. She quietened, nuzzling at the familiar feeling. Aziraphale began to cry again.

“Shh.” Crowley whispered, “Can’t cry yet Angel. One more to go.”

“Dad…” Freddie was saying. Crowley wrapped the girl, made his son sit in Harriet’s lap, and guided the boy to holding his sister correctly. As soon as the boy touched her any remaining tears were silenced.

“You’re naughty one!” Freddie exclaimed, delighted, “We can play tunes!”

The faintest ghost of a smile appeared on the child’s face. Crowley however was already distracted by his husband’s groan.

He was in for a shock. He paused as he checked progress, “Ana - that’s-”

“What is it Crowley?” Aziraphale managed.

Anathema joined the demon, “Please excuse my fingers, Aziraphale. They are clean.”

“It-It doesn’t feel right.” The angel blurted out, “What’s wrong?”

He squeaked at the intrusion, worrying over Anathema’s complicated face pulling.

“What-What is…” Crowley was managing, visibly shaking, “I had a nightmare like this once-”

“Don’t you dare.” Anathema snapped, “He doesn’t need that right now.”

“What’s wrong?!” The angel shrieked. The windows rattled with raw power as he snarled “Tell me!”

“It’s fine.” The occultist said gently, “They’ll be fine. Just keep focussing on them as best you can right now, tell us if they get stressed.”

“What is it?” His voice cracked with fear. Crowley recognised it and managed to speak, “It's the wrong way up.”

“But it's okay.” Anathema reassured him, slapping Crowley’s knee for blurting it out, “We've got both legs, a bit more effort for you when it gets to the head, that's all. It's not misaligned or anything. Just focus on them for us.”

Aziraphale nodded, eyes welling with tears. Crowley stood to help support him this time, leaving Anathema to deliver them. Again it thankfully didn’t take long. A few minutes later she smiled at Freddie, who was watching with trepidation, “Oh little Freddie, we have one of each, a baby brother and a baby sister!”

Aziraphale let Crowley lower him down a little, supporting him to best benefit. It was tough but in the end, 20 tense minutes after his sister, the noisy, slender little red headed boy had also arrived, screwing up his blue eyes as he cried unhappily at the cold.

Crowley let the woman clean the child up and nuzzled at Aziraphale, who clung to his neck, only supported upright by his husband now, “You made it, Crowley. You made it. I-I'm so glad.”

“Yeah. Me too Angel.”

“Want to see before I hand him over to Freddie’s watchful eye?” Anathema was asking. Crowley ushered the woman closer. Aziraphale’s breath caught, “Oh he’s beautiful too! Oh you poor child, your sister has bruised you…” He spasmed suddenly, gripping tightly onto Crowley. The demon lowered him back down to the floor, “Listen, you all should go in the living room for a few. It’s warmer in there. See if you can find something that fits them both in the box in there.”

“Anthony…” Harriet started, but Anathema patted her shoulder, “No, I think we do need to step out for a few. Call us when we can come out.”

“Sure.” The demon replied, “Go spread the word for us.”

“Are they okay?” Harriet pressed when Anathema hurried them out and shut the door behind them.

“I don’t know.” She replied, “Aziraphale just held corporeal form despite being pushed to the edge of the body's useable limits, and I don’t know why that’s happened. Crowley is the only one of us who might even know what’s going on. And that means he also knows how harmful it would be for us to be present.”

“How can you tell me its dangerous when you don’t know what’s happening?” Harriet asked as they entered the living room and the Occultist shut the door behind them.

“Because I’ve heard what happened to people who gazed on the true form of an Angel.” She replied, “Let alone an unknowable Behemoth born of loss and destruction. Come on. There are some wipes over there, we can clean the twins up, nappies in the corner, and a box of clothes… Freddie, how about you sing them to sleep? They’ve had a hard morning.”

“Yes Auntie.” The boy smiled, “I sing them the best lullaby!”

*

“Angel.” Crowley pleaded with the shaking form that rested once more on the floor, “Angel. The others are in the living room. Doors locked. The kitchens’ expendable. Do it.”

A couple of items held in the air by gravitational swirls dropped like stones as the angel raised his head, eyes like slate polished with petrol. He gave a howl that was halfway between a wounded animal and a movie t-rex, deafening and rippling the air as he rose from the floor, opening all of his wings in a bewildering, dazzling and scorching light.

Crowley moved forward, letting scales coat him as he basked in the glow of the beautiful and terrible creature he had loved for well over 6,000 years.

Blind for the light, he walked forwards until he found an arm - an arm with a lions paw at the end - and from that he found a chest that wasn't as human as it was previously, covered in bristling fur.

The beast was angry, and afraid, and vengeful, but he had no idea why.

“Why this form, Aziraphale?!” Crowley yelled against the roar, “I left you for an hour - I don't understand what happened!”

“Demons.” The voice was all around him, the light being part of the angel's body it seemed, “Angels, demons, we can trust NOBODY.”

“No.” Crowley agreed, “We can’t. And we can't really even trust humans, but we do.”

He was taller now, his hands exploring up the torso to where a mess of curls fell around the angel's human face. Even his head wings were outstretched, defiant. He was distantly aware of the fabric of space flapping around them where the behemoth had torn into it, lest it destroy the kitchen.

“Houseproud.” He snorted.

“You clean the place.” Was his reply. But there was something... off. Despite the display of raw power, the behemoth was weak, and weaker now than it had been earlier. It tasted of pain, and wept blood. Crowley wrapped his long arms about his partner's shoulders and squeezed gently, "I'm here Angel. You need to calm down, you're going to destroy yourself. And I don't know what we'll do if you lose your corporation, I don't know if Adam can do it anymore."

The light faded slowly, the wings folded away. In minutes the kitchen shuddered into being around them once more as the angel came back to rest on the kitchen floor, in the pile of bloody towels he'd been sat in for an hour or more.

“Why?” Crowley asked.

“Demons. I think. In the garden. Hurt Freddie.” Aziraphale managed, “Didn't mean to... so far.”

Crowley knelt to hold him, “Demons? I don't sense anything. You took care of them?”

“Biblically.”

“Angel...”

“Didn't mean to... Are the children..?”

“You saw them, Aziraphale. They look fine, they cried and wriggled and that girl can kick for England.”

“’mglad. I was so scared I’d…”

“Never. You did everything and if you’ve hurt yourself doing it, Angel… I’m so sorry you were alone.”

“Crowley.”

“Mm?”

“Can you… Can I. To bed? I’m so cold.”

“Giving birth to twins on a tile floor, I bet you are.” Crowley wrapped his arms around his partner, helping him into an upright position, “Come on Angel. I’ll get you to bed, you’re going to be fine…” He hoped the lie reached his eyes. Aziraphale was covered in scrapes, cuts, bruises, and his skin was cold. Inside, the behemoth itself wasn’t much better, light and flames, dripping energy and burning pain. He must be in shock, Crowley told himself, and the rest was the physical effect of what he’d had to do to avoid going full true form and thus tearing their children to shreds with the force.

Supported by, and leaning on, his husband, Aziraphale managed a few steps before his knees buckled. Crowley lifted him again, “I can carry you, Angel?”

“I’m already such a burden.” Aziraphale murmured, and continued his slow, small steps from the kitchen, out into the hallway.

“I forgot myself.” he said suddenly, “I went too far and I nearly harmed my dear children.”

“You’re a parent under great stress, and Freddie was in danger.” Crowley told him, “Any demons I know, Angel?”

“Not the… few I know.” Aziraphale told him.

“I need to have words with Beez.” Crowley growled..

“Phone them, please Crowley…”

“They won’t be happy…”

“I don’t care! I… I need you right now. Please.” He groaned involuntarily.

“Angel?”

“Everything hurts… so much.” He murmured.

“You’re alright..? How is-” Anathema paused with a start, peering through the cracked-open doorway.

“Putting him to bed then I have to make a phone call.” Crowley growled, “Nobody is going to get away with sending demons after my family.”

“Crowley.” Anathema pointed to the floor, “He’s bleeding.”

The demon glanced down at the dark flecks on the angels legs, the growing puddle on the hall tiles.

“Shit!”

“Get him to bed, get his legs and hips elevated.” Anathema commanded, “I’ll get him something to help with the blood loss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby #2 really said I'm doing a somersault so I can do a fancy feet first downwards dive out of here, huh?


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not doing great today so have this early, I'll forget if i leave it till tomorrow 😭

Crowley had spooned about as much of Anathema’s brew into the Angel’s mouth as he would take. It smelt revolting, and the demon told himself he wouldn’t be doing this is not for the fact he could very clearly see the signs of blood loss in his husband now.

For his part Aziraphale cried. Even when Crowley admonished him for using up all the fluid he was being fed. The Angel was in pain through and through, and scared, and all he wanted to do was be held by the demon despite the open cracks in his corporation.

Crowley wrapped him in their warmest blankets, and lay Ariel’s old weighted snake plushie (That she had insisted they keep) across his chest as though it were his arm. He repeated as he did so that everybody was safe, that the angel only had to draw the energy to fix himself up (he had tried but touching the angel’s skin with the pressure needed to find a bleed was causing him agonising pain), and that he was there.

Eventually he fell into a deep sleep.

“Anthony?” Harriet called gently.

“Hm?”

“Got a visitor. Lucien.”

Crowley slid off the bed, careful not to wake Aziraphale, “Perfect timing.” He came downstairs with her. Beelzebub and Michael were with him.

“Entourage?” Crowley snarked, “Who was it? Who the hell attacked my son and potentially damaged his siblings and father?”

“I have names.” Lucien said, "But I want to deal with them. Is everybody okay?”

“Apart from Angel being in shock and nearly bleeding out all over the floor, Freddie being frightened and scuffed up and the twins technically being premature?”

“We-" one of Lucien's eyes darkened in thinly concealed anger. He continued, quietly, "-think it was some plot to bring out his true form.”

“If the kids had died they probably would have, but that forms not malicious.” Crowley replied.

“I know.” Lucien replied, “That's what I've tried to tell them, there's no world destroyer. No matter what my - what Gabriel thinks.”

“Is that bastard in on this?” Crowley snarled. He gazed at Michael, “Do you know anything?”

“You know I am forbidden from seeing my brother.” Michael replied, “He is no longer seen as an angel.”

“’Bout damn time.” Crowley growled, “Anyway - if they ever show their faces around my family they will never want another body-”

“Uncle Crowley. Stop.”

When Lucifer had told Crowley to be quiet, he had taken the voice from him. This was different. Lucien’s words were laced with a quiet force which gave him not an overriding power of compulsion, but a gentle, soothing suggestion. Crowley quietened because the boy’s voice instilled him with confidence in his leadership. That feeling… was familiar. From the dawn of time.

“They will be dealt with.” The boy paused, “You said Uncle Zira is not good?”

“Behemoths and unborn babies built with human corporations are a bad mix.” He growled.

“May I-?”

Crowley looked as though he might refuse, but pointed the teenager upstairs. Michael followed, but Beelzebub sniffed and stayed where they were.

“Not enough entrails for you?” Crowley snapped.

“I wizzh to keep my corporation.” The Prince replied.

Crowley sneered and followed the other Celestials upstairs. Lucien had kicked his shoes off, and was sat on the bed talking quietly to Aziraphale, a delicate amber glow originating in his hand.

“What are you doing? I only just got him to sleep.”

Michael placed a hand firmly on the Angel’s middle. Aziraphale gasped, eyes rolling back in agony, but Lucien held his head, shushing him, the warm glow brightening slightly. Crowley wasn’t sure quite how to feel about the trust in the angel’s eyes as the boy calmed him. Michael removed her hand at length, “Gabriel didn’t seem to think much of you, but the lord and Lucien do.” She explained, “It is in our best interests to help.”

“Rest, Uncle Zira.” Lucien smiled, “Everything will be fine. Crowley told you so, right?”

“And…” Michael said, moving to his other side and murmuring, “Get rid of that… thing you grow your young in. You seem to have destroyed it in twenty dimensions, and lack the energy to rebuild it right now.”

“Michael.” Lucien warned.

“He should be aware.” The archangel replied, “Before he does something foolish with it.”

“T-thank you, both, really.” Aziraphale gasped, “But please, I-I just want Crowley.”

Michael stood, beckoning the demon, “Job’s done. We’ll be off now.”

Lucien rolled his eyes, but slid from the bed to say goodbye properly, "Sorry they snuck down here Uncle Zira. They won't come again. And it'llall be okay soon enough."

“Hellspawn.” Crowley managed suddenly as the boy reached the top of the stairs.

“Hm?”

“What’s so special about this year?”

“Oh!” Lucien grinned.

“Yes?” The demon prompted.

“It’s a secret – but it’s a great secret! It’ll be really neat when I can tell you! But-but it’s not quite this year. Just all the prep! Everything’s starting now! So long!” The boy was off. Crowley growled.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale called weakly.  
“Coming, Angel.”

*

Crowley was astounded when Aziraphale finally came to properly, “Michael... fixed you?”

“No.” Aziraphale said as he lay propped up, drinking a fresh mug of what Anathema had given him, “...she stopped the bleeding. And the... whatever my self's equivalent is. Lucien found where it was. But... she said it's a wreck in there. All through my layers. Can't... can't have more... at least for a while.”

Crowley gazed at him, “This isn't a conversation to have when we have twin newborns downstairs, Angel.”

“No.” The angel agreed, “But I wanted to get it out there. I thought 9 was the number. Then we lost Jennet. And now I don't think I can repair this properly for a long time. The forces tore something, well…” He looked down at his body, at the mess of bruising and crack – like lesions on his skin, “Tore a lot of things in my my selves. I don't know - don't know even how I'd know - if it's safe to do this again. Like you found, quick and directed miracles don’t seem to be working.”

Crowley nodded slowly, turning the problem over in his head, "This will keep bothering you, right?"

Aziraphale looked down into his mug, "I'll cope."

Crowley sighed, "Angel. God wanted her children to get out and dance, right? So, she must have flicked everybody's switch - so we can all trigger it. What would you say... to me taking on the load next time?'

“To you...?!” Aziraphale gazed at him, horrified, “Crowley my dearest, it's hardly a walk in the park.”

“No.” Crowley replied, “But we are partners. We are married. And you've nearly died 3 times in 5 pregnancies. Perhaps it's time I looked after you a little better.”

Aziraphale snorted, 'I believe that would be impossible dear. You've looked after me so much over our lives.”

Crowley nodded, “I was often returning the favour. So just let me try. Next time. If we fail, well, we tried.” He ran a hand over his husbands still grubby hair, “When you're definately not bleeding and can get up, I'll shower you and preen you, like old times. Let me look after you, Angel. Trained warrior, flaming sword, Raging behemoth or soft, fussy bookworm. You deserve my best.”

“I don't deserve you.” Aziraphale murmured, leaning his head on Crowley’s leg.

“We deserve each other. We're both assholes.” The demon chuckled.

“You forgot stubborn.”

“Stubborn, bastard assholes.”

“Who couldn't do their jobs if their lives depended on it.” Aziraphale smiled warmly. A little colour had already returned to his cheeks.

“How is it?” Crowley asked, nodding to the mug.

“Revolting. But doing the trick.' He smiled, “When can I see the children?”

“When you're showered and sat up in bed. Maybe not today.”

It was only a few hours later that, having cleaned up the kitchen and hallway and put Freddie to bed, Crowley slid into his own. He was grateful that night that Harriet and Anathema had stayed over to keep an eye on the twins, each taking a baby to either Alexas’ or Jennet’s bedrooms to look after for the night.

Crowley was exhausted, and Aziraphale was sleeping very lightly, still pale and weak. The demon sniffed under the blanket, checking the smell of blood had gone now the sheets were clean and the angel had hopefully stopped bleeding internally.

He reached out gently, hoping not to wake his husband, but when he touched his shoulder the angel smiled, “You're back.”

“Ngk, yeah, sorry.”

“Silly serpent.” Aziraphale murmured, letting his husband huddle close, “I missed you.”

“Ngk.”

*

The twins hasty arrival had put a huge amount of stress on their parents, and unfortunately not even a visit from more powerful celestials than them could reduce the days Aziraphale had to spend resting.

When Harriet and Anathema had gone home (and Jennet had got upset she couldn’t come and see everybody), Crowley settled in to try and keep the two newborns fed and Freddie occupied. For the most part, he was an excellent older brother, bringing them instruments, playing for them and singing them to sleep. But when they were asleep, or being fed, the boy was noticeably morose, and constantly asking to see his daddy.

Three days after the twins arrived, with Crowley busy trying to feed one twin and burp the other, the boy finally slipped from the room and headed quietly up the stairs. He was near silent, but the second he reached up and touched his parent’s bedroom doorknob he heard a chuckle, “Couldn’t wait, could you dear?”

“Daddy?” Freddie whispered, pushing the door open just a crack, “I’m sorry… Can I?”

“Come in son.” Aziraphale patted the bed. The boy slid the door quietly shut behind him before hopping up onto the bed and trying to gently throw himself into his dad’s arms. Aziraphale lifted him with a little groan, placing him gently on his stomach and chest, so he could stroke the boy’s back comfortingly.

“Missed you, Daddy.” The boy sniffed.

“Oh dearest. I’m so sorry to have upset you.” The angel murmured, “Are you behaving for your father? Are you being a good big brother?”

“Dada says I can’t feed them.”  
“He’s just worried you’re too little and hyper.” Aziraphale chuckled, “How are they?”

“Noisy.”

“Yes, I heard that bit.” He chuckled.

“An’ they can’t play yet.”

“Not yet, son.” Aziraphale smiled, “But they will.”

Freddie sniffed again. Aziraphale put a hand on the back of the child’s head, stroking his hair and encouraging him to cry into his shirt, “Shh, Frederick. It’s alright. We’re all alright. My dear child…”

“You were poorly.” The boy managed, “Auntie Ana was worried. Auntie Ana’s never worried!”

“Oh, she is.” The angel chuckled, “She just hides it well. But everything happened so fast son, and when you’re on the spot, well… It can be very hard to hide what you’re feeling.”

“Daddy won’t go away?”

“No, Freddie. I’m not going anywhere.”

*

“Frederick?!” Crowley’s voice called at length. It stirred Aziraphale from sleep. He heard Crowley come upstairs, check the bathroom and kids rooms, before he made for their door. As it opened the angel smiled sleepily, “Don't be hard on him dear.”

Crowley made some noises. Aziraphale knew he would never be too hard on the kids, any of them, let alone his beloved Freddie, but it amused him to tease his husband. When he was finished trying to explain in syllables, the demon moved to the bed.

“Little punk.” He chuckled, taking in the way he clung to Aziraphale’s front, snoozing with his thumb in his mouth and an arm around his dad's neck.

“Now now dear, you can't have the best spot all the time.” The angel remarked, his eyes twinkling, “May I get up now?”

“Depends. Any more bleeding?”

“No dear. I got rid of the offending... organ.”

“Okay, but I want you to be seated if you're coming downstairs.”

“Can I sit with the children?”

“Angel I'm not a monster.”

Aziraphale chuckled, “In which case, I accept your terms, and would you carry Frederick for me so I can hold the stair banister?”

“Should probably wake him for lunch anyway.” Crowley replied, hefting the boy. Then he paused, gazing at his perfect little features. Aziraphale hid a smile, “You're going soft my dear.”

“Only to match you.” The demon snorted, “Come on. They’ve been fed and they’re waiting for you.”

“Oh… I had given some thought to feeding them…”

“Angel.” Crowley spun to meet his eye as he stood for the first time in days, testing his legs out carefully.

“Hm?”

“Not this time. Up and about or not, this-” He touched his husband’s arm, still blotchy with bruises, “-will take time, and energy, to fix. Let yourself heal. They’ll be fine on formula.”

“Oh dear, and that’s your final word on the subject I take it?”

“Final.” Crowley said firmly, “You’re worth far more than a milk cow.”

“I should certainly hope so.” The angel chuckled, moving to his wardrobe. Getting rid of several of his internal organs had failed to reset his body size for now – he suspected the trauma was the reason – so he was going to be stuck for a while waiting for it all to return to normal. At least he had some nice, soft cotton shirts Crowley had brought him specifically for housing the bump.

“Did you arrange for the other children to visit yet?” The angel asked as he pulled the shirt over his head.

“Weekend, they’re all at work.” Crowley replied from half way down the stairs.

“And… Jennet?”

“If these three stay quiet after tea she can come over later.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful!” The angel clapped his hands excitedly, “Crowley she’ll be so pleased, she loves-”

The demon chuckled, “I know, Angel. Come on, before they nod off!”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was late this week, got my days mixed up. Another chapter tomorrow as usual.

Aziraphale hurried after his husband as fast as he could, but he knew he was still wobbly and given to light-headedness, so he gripped the handrail on the stairs, and moved slowly and deliberately.

He opened the living room door with trepidation. Freddie was yawning on the sofa, tucking into a small plate of sandwich pieces. His eyes widened, “Daddy! Is Daddy!”

“It’s me.” The angel chuckled, and edged his way into the room slowly. Crowley had bundled the twins in their car seats, the easier to transport them around the house by himself he supposed, and the seats were propped up so they could ‘see’ what was happening. It also meant as he walked around the single seater he got to see their faces one at a time, and how they turned their heads at the movement.

“Oh.” Tears welled in his eyes, “Oh Freddie, aren’t they wonderful?”

Freddie grinned around a sandwich piece, “Be even better when they c’n play.”

“I mean…” The angel made to kneel before the car seats, but Crowley pushed the door open with a tray of mugs at that moment, “Nu-uh, sofa. I’ll bring them to you.”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale practically whined.

“Tea.” The demon replied, and handed him a mug.

“Mmph.” The angel swigged it unceremoniously and made to sit down. Crowley assessed the pair, and made for the red head first, “Come on you. You can be injury buddies.”

“Is he -?”

“His sister kicked him about. Have to keep an eye on that, I seem to recall Lex had no idea of his own strength too.” Crowley replied as he lifted the boy from his seat and moved to the sofa. Aziraphale had already downed his tea and was waiting anxiously, arms out to hold the child. Crowley went back for the girl.

“Ohhh….” He wiggled as he sat back, “Dear boy…” He chuckled, “Oh Frederick, you’re two of a kind, he has your dad’s long legs too.”

“He dances.” Freddie told him, “Been doin’ beats for him.”

The baby beamed.

“Do you think – I mean – we seemed to have a consensus last night.” The angel asked shyly.

“They’re good names.” Crowley chuckled, being sure to hold the baby girl so she was facing away from his body, a wise move as once he sat she started flailing with the speed and force of a child much older.

“And they match. I did so enjoy having twins we could choose matching names for.”

“Just a little twist in the middle.” The demon snorted, “Go on then.”

“Frederick darling.” Aziraphale smiled, turning to the boy and his nearly empty plate, “You can call your brother Corin. Corin Angelo Fell-Crowley.”

“And your sister Ceres.” Crowley added, “Ceres Luciana Fell-Crowley.”

“Perfec.” Freddie giggled, “Can grow now has names!” He pushed his plate aside to clamber, “Cori…” He patted the boy’s red hair, “N Ceri.” He did the same to his sister.

Somewhere, a phone beeped. Crowley groaned, “Oh no. NOT YOU, SIRI!”

After Aziraphale had had chance to lull Corin to sleep, Crowley swapped for Ceres. The girl’s gold eyes seemed to search her dad’s face (whether or not she could see it well), before she smiled up at him.

“Hello trouble.” The angel chuckled, “We’ll have to get you padded gloves so you don’t hurt anybody by accident.”

Corin tucked into his carrier, Crowley scooted up and hefted Freddie into his lap.

“What do you think then? Pleased?”

“Yeah.” The boy grinned, “N’Happy daddy’s okay now.”

“That my dear, is something I’m sure we all agree on.” Aziraphale smiled, leaning to put his arm around Crowley. Then Freddie squealed, “Ow!”

The Angel pulled back, worried. Freddie was rubbing his cheek. Ceres was kicking her legs happily.

“Oh, I’m sorry dear.” Aziraphale adjusted his hold on the girl. Then he paused, “Freddie, are you alright?”

“M’fine.”

“No, I mean… did they hurt you? The other day?”

“Couple of bruises.” Crowley replied, “Nothing else. Else there would have been trouble.”

“As if there wasn’t.” Aziraphale snorted, “Frederick darling, frightening or not, angry and in pain or not, I will never hurt you. I promise you.”

“I know, Daddy.” The boy smiled brightly, “Daddy frightened the demons away really well!”

“Hopefully that will warn anybody else who thought we were an easy target.” Crowley grumbled. At that point Aziraphale took his hand, squeezing it gently. The demon drew it to his face, kissing the knuckles.

Then Ceres uttered a little squeak of a shriek, and the angel returned his attention to her, specifically to rocking her gently until she joined her brother in dreamland.

*

The evening was spent quietly, although without Jennet as Crowley still thought Aziraphale would do better for some rest, and the twins eventually made it to the cribs in their parents’ room for the first time.

“What are you doing?” Aziraphale asked fuzzily. He had dozed off fast, and Crowley had woken him again rustling around. The demon was holding two fingers at his wrist and frowning, “Taking a pulse.”

“On your own wrist?” the angel blinked.

“Ah, I thought it was a bit fast.” Crowley grinned, and moved his grip to Aziraphale’s wrist instead.

“I still don't understand, what you are doing?”

“I'm trying to see if the children have your heartbeat.”

“That's very... Poetic dear. But I don't think it's very scientific.” The angel chuckled, “Plus it's still going to be a bit thready.”

“Since when have either of us worried about scientific…” Crowley huddled closer, his fingers stroking their way along the muscles of his husband’s forearm.

“You do realise that's…” Aziraphale coughed, “Going to be a bit…”

“Erratic? Racy? Raunchy? Erotic?”

“I was going to say uhm odd but erotic yes… Uhm.” Aziraphale tailed off when Crowley kissed his fingers.

“Just trying to remind you how important you are Angel.” The Demon murmured a moment later, his husband’s expression a bit complicated.

“I know love.” He replied, “I just…” He dropped his gaze, “Could you… just hold me? Please? I need… reassurance.”

“Done.” Crowley replied, spooning and winding his limbs around his partner, “Closer?”

“No, that’s fine, thank you.” The angel snuggled back against him; arms wrapped around his own. At length he sniffed, and Crowley frowned, “Angel?”

“I was… I was scared, Crowley... Terrified that it would be like Jennet again, for real this time. Not like my paranoia, with Freddie. It wasn't because they're still early either. It was the force my corporation was changing with. I couldn't fully change but I was part way to it and my self just... rejected everything. They were born fast because if they weren't my corporation would have torn them and itself apart trying to stabilise around my true self.” He sighed, “I tried to keep from changing, but Frederick... Crowley his scream. It was the worst noise I ever heard a child make. And it was our child making it.”

“You don't need to justify yourself, Angel.”

“I feel I do when I nearly went, ah, ‘supernova’ on our children and very nearly tore them back to their essences.”

Crowley rocked his husband gently, and pointed towards the cribs, “But you recognised it and did right! And they’re here, healthy, alive because of you. Perfect parent - you did your very best.” He nuzzled the angel’s neck, “You did nothing wrong, Angel.”

“T-Thank you. I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologise for.”

“No, for… fretting. And dwelling on it. And… I’ve spent so long grieving Crowley. I don’t want to grieve anymore, not now.” He paused, “I'm so glad they're okay.”

“And you.” Crowley added.

“And me.” Aziraphale smiled warmly, “What would be the use in having them if I..?”

He returned his gaze to the cribs. Crowley moved to squeeze him a little tighter, “I meant what I said. I'll do it next time.”

“What -What if I lose you?'”

“You're not going to lose me. I waited 6000 years for you. I refuse to leave you over such a trivial thing.”

Aziraphale caught a barked laugh in his throat, “It's not as though I wanted to leave you...”

“And you've had a whole catalogue of rough births to go with it.” Crowley replied, “They can't all be that bad or nobody would do it. So, let me try. I’ll fulfil your happy little quota.”

“Crowley…” Aziraphale squeezed the demon’s arms, wrapped around his chest, tightly.

“Hey, stop that.” Crowley snorted good naturedly, “Don’t need you _and_ your daughter trying to break my arms.”

“When misbehaving, she’s _your_ daughter.” Aziraphale chuckled.

“Nu-uh, you’re not putting that on me.” Crowley snorted, “You’re a naughty Angel and you know it.” He squeezed his husband’s middle gently.

“You love me…” Aziraphale tailed off a minute, gazing down at himself and the slim but strong arms wrapped around him, “At least, I assume so-”

“Don’t ever doubt me on that.” Crowley hissed in his ear, “I love you, you bastard.”

*

Of course, Crowley couldn’t trust the Angel not to go ahead and do what he wanted anyway. He swept in happily with a tray the next morning and nearly dropped it at the sight which met him.

“Angel!” He cried, “Angel are you sure you’re-”

“Alright to do this?” The angel replied, “I want to. It’s strange, yes, but I sort of… like it.”

Crowley looked at Ceres, resting happily against her dad’s right shoulder. Corin was taking his sweet time being fed, sucking happily at Aziraphale’s chest.

The demon almost slumped into bed beside him with the tray and a dramatic sigh, “Well.” He shook his head, “If you think you’ll be okay.” He lifted the mug of tea he’d made to his husband’s lips to let him drink, “I’m sure they’re loving it.”

Aziraphale chuckled. Ceres burped at the motion of her dad’s chest, and turned her head towards the noise.

“They’re so lovely.” The angel beamed, “And wriggly. They’re safe, and I just want to be close to them.”

Corin let go, turning his head with a happy noise. Crowley reached to take Ceres, so Aziraphale could burp the boy next. Now one hand was free, he could also eat his toast.

“I suppose it’s – It’s about being able to – to give life – maybe it makes me feel like an Angel again.”

Crowley snorted. Aziraphale gave him a look to hush him, “Or what I thought being an angel was about.”

“Angels were never for making babies.” Crowley chuckled.

“Crowley…” The angel sighed contentedly as he inhaled Corin’s baby smell, “You know what I mean…”

“Kindness.” Crowley murmured, wrapping his free arm around the angel, “Love. Joy. Yeah, I know what you mean.” He nuzzled his husband’s cheek, “You already personify all those things though.”

“Daddy!” Came a squeal from the door. Freddie was up, and already leaping into bed with them. It took a miracle for him not to spill the drinks, but soon enough they had one little boy cuddled up in the blankets between them, humming happily and talking to his siblings.

Crowley met the angel’s eye briefly.

“You are. Else they would need teaching those things.”

Eventually Freddie decided he was hungry, and hopped off the bed to go to the kitchen. Before the boy could raid the cupboards, Crowley made to follow him, “Back in a minute.” He didn’t remove Ceres from his shoulder. She seemed happy enough there, anyway.

Aziraphale spent a few minutes after finishing his toast and tea just cuddling his son, “You caused so much trouble dear. I’m so glad you’re alright.” He kept murmuring.

A little hand caught his face, softer than Ceres would have, and the boy squinted at his cheek. Aziraphale sighed, “Yes, I’m as bruised up as you are.”

Crowley returned a few moments later, without either child. At Aziraphale’s look he explained, “Got cbeebies on.”

“And she-?”  
“Engrossed as Freddie. What do you think they are?”

“There was a second musical muse – well, we’ve not worked out which musical muse Freddie is – Erato was lyric poetry, Euterpe was a general Musical muse. So either of those might apply. The only other one we could apply is Terpsichore, muse of dance.”

“Have to wait to work that out.” Crowley chuckled, “Here little guy, are you done? Want to watch TV with your siblings?”

“Are we really going to sit them in front of the Television this much?” Aziraphale worried as he gave up the boy and slipped out of bed to dress.

“Listen, we really tried hard with Alice and Ariel, and all it did was burn you out, remember? At least its vaguely educational television.”

“I remember.” Aziraphale managed, “I remember it was the only thing Alexas would focus on.”

“We’re meant to be retired.” The demon told him, “That means we get to take it easy. And that’s hard with kids.”

“Mm.” The angel replied. He was checking his shirts for one that fitted him again.

“Oh Angel.” Crowley sighed, “Let’s get Jennet and Anathema around later and I’ll take you out for some more clothes.”

“It’s so ridiculous.” Aziraphale grumbled, “Not being able to change back yet.”

“Less suspect if we run into Kellie you mean.” Crowley replied, “Angel. You look amazing. You just made two brilliant little lives. You don’t need to hide that.”

“I know.” He murmured, deciding on a particular blue polo shirt he had bought a month or so ago, “It just brings bad memories back.”

“Let yourself rest…” Crowley hummed as he crossed the room and held the angel gently, “I’m getting rid of the bathroom mirror if you’re going to be like this again.”


	26. Chapter 26

Jennet had practically opened the front door herself, so excited was she to meet the twins. Marie had stayed at home with her father, never having been very interested in small children for starters and understanding how important it was for Jennet to meet her other family as well, so it was just the girl and her mother.

“If the others get here before we’re back.” The demon told her after introductions had been made, Jennet practically squealing with joy, “Tell Lex I’ll have his hide.”

Jennet looked wide eyed at him. Aziraphale patted her shoulder, “He doesn’t mean it dear.” Before he continued to the car.

“He knows I want Angel here to see the responses.” Crowley told her, “He needs all the good things, and if that boy gets impatient…”

“I’ll tell him.” Jennet replied, a little cross, “If he dares turn up before you!”

“Good girl.” Crowley patted her shoulder too, “See you in a little while.”

“See you later Daddy.”

Crowley headed out for Chichester for the second time that week, thankfully this time far less fretfully. Clothes shopping wasn’t too traumatic – over the years the Angel had learned that while he was intent on breeding himself he couldn’t wear the things he was used to – it took too much energy to maintain them properly for starters. For once though, a visit to a little café when they were done had taken some persuading. In the end they had tea and sandwiches, and Crowley popped to the shop next door when the angel went to the facilities.

He knew exactly what he was getting, and was back before his husband. They had their food, and went back to the Bentley at leisure, the demon making sure to set a chill walking speed so as to not exhaust his husband.

“So, I know what you’re going to say.” The demon replied, “But I got you this.”

The angel frowned at the gift. It was a beautiful little foiled cardboard box, square in shape, with a slide off top. This he did, with a frown.

“Crowley…”

“You still like it, right?”

“Yes but.”

“Small pieces. Little treat. If you’re going to insist on being body conscious.”

Aziraphale put the lid back on the box before leaning over to kiss his cheek, “I shouldn’t-”

“But you’ll enjoy them.”

“Of course I will! Crystalised ginger and Dark chocolate are exquisite!” He paused, before opening the box again, “Thank you.”

“I saw you eyeing the cake.” Crowley replied with a chuckle.

*

Having all their children together in the house was wonderful, Crowley admitted to himself – despite Alexas’ ever- irritating joviality – but it was tiring for everybody. The older children were staying overnight, and Jennet looked to Anathema pleadingly as the woman packed up her bag.

“Mama?”

The occultist paused sympathetically, “You’ll have to ask them – there’s a lot of people in this house right now honey.”

“What is it?” Aziraphale asked as he came through, “Are you alright Jennet dear?”

Anathema indicated the angel with her eyes. Jennet paused before she turned, “Uncle Aziraphale? Could I maybe stay over?”

She had dropped her head, fearing a negative response, knowing how sensitive the angel could be to a lot going on. But he glanced up at her mother, “If it’s alright with Anathema I’m sure we can find you some blankets.” He replied.

“I’ll ask Newt to bring your pyjamas.” Anathema smiled, “Thank you Aziraphale. It means a lot to her.”

“Nonsense, it’s our pleasure.” The angel beamed, “You both did us a big favour today, and I’m rather indebted to you for the other day…”

Anathema waved her hand dismissively as she made the call. Jennet beamed up at him, whispering “Thank you Daddy.”

“Go and tell the others.” The angel chuckled, “Between night feeds and early morning sing-alongs you may have bitten off more than you can chew, my dear.”

*

Alexas took his old bedroom, and Freddie took his as usual. Jennet got her bed, and the twins happily took the floor in there. Aziraphale was certain he heard giggling coming from down the hall several times as he lay reading in bed, and more than once heard little feet patter down the hallway.

“Bloody kids.” Crowley chuckled.

Meanwhile, the newborns slept until 3am. They woke with tiny sniffles and wails, and both their parents were up in a moment.

“Bottles this time.” Crowley told the angel, “You can have one feed a day, but I mean it about how you need to take it easy.”

Aziraphale agreed, sleepy from the busy day and too exhausted to miracle up working breast tissue. They made their way down to the kitchen, and Aziraphale settled back in the rocking chair Crowley had just miracled downstairs, cradling the twins as his husband made up the bottles.

Crowley glanced up at length, “Oh, you’re awake. Shouldn’t be long before they’re back asleep.”

“It’s okay.” Jennet smiled. Half asleep as she was, there was a thick stripe of ginger in her long hair, a twinkle of blonde at the front (Aziraphale had wondered once how symbolic it was that Alexas and Jennet were the only two of their children to have different coloured strands in their fringe, and whether it was an intentional swap on the lords part), and she brushed it aside as she sat up at the table, “Can I?”

“Of course.” Aziraphale glanced down, “You can take your pick.”

Jennet took Ceres, “Don’t kick me, I’ll catch your feet, you little monster.”

Crowley brought the bottles over and seated himself at the table with them, “Did you come down just for them, or..?”

“No.” The girl replied, “I – I wanted to talk earlier but I was having too much fun…” She paused, smiling at Ceres’ determined little sucks on the bottle, “It was really nice to feel home. Not that my home isn’t home – but this is different and – and it’s nice.” She murmured, blushing.

“My dear…” Aziraphale started.

“And I spoke to Papa.” She blurted out, “He was really lovely. But also, sad. And I don’t know why.”

“Spoke to Newt? About what?” Crowley frowned. Aziraphale was aware of the tone of his husband’s words – Crowley was every bit as defensive of his secret daughter as he was of his other children.

“Dear.” He shushed, “I spoke to Jennet last month. She was worried that… only Newton didn’t know. I said maybe she should discuss with her mother, to speak with her father.”

“Well I’ll have her back in a heartbeat if he doesn’t like-” The demon growled.

“No Daddy.” Jennet briefly removed Ceres’ bottle to pat his hand. The baby shrieked like an animal and grasped at the teenager’s sleeve.

“Alright! Greedy.” The girl giggled, “There you go…” Once Ceres was content again, she continued, “He wasn’t sad for who I am. He was a bit… worried. I suppose that I would leave them.”

“Oh, the dear boy…” Aziraphale sighed, “He has always had a soft heart.”

“He’s a daft boy…” Crowley snorted, “Had we not cared for their feelings or yours, it would have been easy to take you back after the battle and nobody be any the wiser.”

“I know.” The girl replied, “I didn’t say he made sense… And he was kind, and he said he understood if I wanted to spend time here.”

“She placed you with fine parents.” Aziraphale managed.

“He’ll be fine.” The girl smiled, “But that wasn’t really what I wanted to ask. See I’ve been wondering, I look at my parents and my sister and think that one day I won’t have them anymore.”

Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged a glance.

“Alice and Ariel told me they got to choose, but… I feel like I don’t have that choice. I’m already…” She made a small flourish at herself with the hand Ceres was resting on the arm of, “Or if I’m not, I’m already… switched that way. I don’t think I get a choice.”

“You are, after all, an Angel.” Aziraphale murmured.

“If I get to choose anything, it’ll be that.” She replied, “The lord said… after the battle… I could be who I was supposed to be. Maybe she meant that’s my choice, when I turn 25. Angel or muse.”

“Dear…” Aziraphale started again, but Crowley shushed him gently. Corin hiccupped.

“And I was thinking when my… when I lose… that maybe I wouldn’t want my human name anymore. Jennet Adria Device is my… human name. Then I thought what God named me. And then what you would have named me.”

“B-but. You're not that child.” Aziraphale managed.

Jennet's eyes widened. There were tears in the older Angel’s eyes. “I mean... you are, but... you're not. You aren't who we would have raised, you're your own person, you don’t need to ever think about taking on the past that way...” Aziraphale’s head dropped and he sighed, “I'm not explaining this very well am I?”

“Not really, Angel.” Crowley replied.

“I… understand.” Jennet nodded, “And you suffered too – it would be wrong of me to ask you to ignore that.” She paused, “In which case. What would you... will you call me... if I decided to come back, to be the muse I was supposed to be?”

“Oh dear girl, surely you would have your own designs on-?”

“No. I would want my parents to name me. As they would have, and as my human parents have.”

Crowley exchanged a glance with Aziraphale.

“Dear, when we were – naming the twins, we did think… little what ifs.”

“About what we’d have called you knowing what we know now.” Crowley added.

The girl’s face lit up, “A-And?”

Aziraphale exchanged another glance with Crowley. The demon nodded.

“We thought, we really liked… Jessica.” The angel managed, “Jessica Isidore Fell-Crowley.”

Jennet mouthed the name, a smile slowly spreading on her face, “I like that much better than Audrey…”

“But.” Aziraphale added, “You must never leave your family for us dear – We’ll wait for you as long as you and they need, and we’ll take you with open arms when you need us. But – and I’m sure you would never – don’t abandon them for us. I don’t think I would feel comfortable with that.”

Crowley tilted his head, but nodded, “Whatever you do is your choice, but we both think too much of your parents to see them hurt.”

“You’re the best dads.” Jennet whispered softly, “Mama and Papa are the best at their thing, and you are the best at yours.” She sniffed, “Thank you. I feel… a little better, about the future.”

At length Aziraphale got up to walk Corin around the house to help burp him. Ceres was fine, so Crowley and Jennet stayed put. Crowley watched the girl cradle her little sister, reminded briefly of how she looked when she was that small. The girl turned her head, catching him looking, “What’s wrong Dad?”

“You're the other good angel. It used to be only your dad.”

Jennet tilted her head, sensing an opportunity to indulge her curiosity, “Not you? Who were you, Dad?”

For a minute the demon didn’t speak, his face frozen. Then he stood to move to the French doors. For a moment she thought she’d gone too far, but as he opened them he turned back, beckoning her. She clicked one of the baby carriers to the table to put Ceres into, before she ventured into the cool night.


	27. Chapter 27

Aziraphale had put Corin to bed when he returned to the kitchen to find the curtains askew and Ceres dozing in her carrier. He sorted her out too, before he returned to the door. He stepped out onto the patio. The pair were leant on the side of the garden planter, backs to the house.

“What was it like..?” Jennet asked.

“…I don’t think you need to know that.”

“Oh come on Dad, please?”

“No. Seriously. Some things nobody gets to know.”

“Oh… alright.” Jennet slipped off the wall, looking up at the stars, “My dad, a Starmaker. Clever, creative, bold, beautiful.” She spun lightly, “Not that I didn’t already know you had beautiful children.” She laughed, throwing her arms around him, “Thanks for telling me.”

“Ngk.”

She gave him a light squeeze before running back to the house. She didn’t seem surprised to see Aziraphale, “Night, Dad.”

“Goodnight Dear.”

When the door closed, it was a few more minutes before Aziraphale approached his husband. Crowley had his arms folded, and he was gazing up at the sky.

The angel joined him, “She’s right, and you still are, even now.”

“Mmffg.”

“Dear?”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” The angel frowned.

“It’s too much…” The demon replied. Aziraphale peered up and saw the tears his husband was desperately trying to hide, his head cranked completely up to the sky now.

“Too much? For us to love you and think that you’re still all the things that made you a Starmaker-?”

“Angel-”

“That being a demon never made you a lesser being, even when I said so..?” Aziraphale dropped his eyes, “For which… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ever made you feel you weren’t always worthy. I’m sorry I ever thought you couldn’t be everything you are as a demon. I’m sorry I made you feel you were worth less than you are.”

“Angel…” Crowley squeezed him, “I’m not… very comfortable. With the title she gave me.”

“With-?”

“Ssstarmaker.”

“Oh.” Aziraphale murmured, “Not even..?”

“Hm?”

“Well, we have at least one human ‘star’ on the stage, and more besides. Would you rather be Musemaker?”

“Sssssounds ridiculous.”

“I suppose.” The Angel replied, “Besides, there’s two musemakers. You deserve your own title.”

“Mmfg.”

“Well, I am, or was, a bookseller…” The Angel chattered, “You are a craftsman… A solar crafter, an Artist – wait, that’s Ariel – A creator…” He paused, “What about curator? A star curator.”

The demon snorted, “I could be a curator, I'd be great at curating… but why do you need all these names for anyway, are you starting a collection?”

Aziraphale sighed, “None of them seem to fit as well.”

“You call me Dear…” Crowley murmured.

“But it’s not exactly a title.”

“I don’t need a title.”

“I suppose. I'm sorry.” Aziraphale sighed, “I just like calling you Starmaker.”

“Angel... This isn't another heaven and hell thing, is it? After all you just said?”

“No!” the angel shook his head, “No, Crowley... I know better now.” He put his head on the demon's chest, “But when you talk about building stars you're so animated. They're your pride and joy, like the children. That’s why I like thinking of you as my starmaker. You were happy.”

“'m happy now.”

“Mm. Sorry dear.” The angel replied, not looking at him, “Of course if you're not comfortable it's fine, I just thought you seemed happy. I’m sorry.”

Crowley squeezed him gently, and sighed, “...Well. All your other suggestions were shit I suppose...”

“Dear?”

“It hits differently. That you see those things.” Crowley told him quietly, kissing his forehead before he continued, “That it’s your feelings, not heaven’s influence on you.” He cupped his husband’s cheek and the angel nuzzled against it gently.

“But it’s not a name I want to hear often.” He murmured, “Save it for best, alright?”

“For best?” The angel thought hard, “When I’m so proud of you all I can see is the creative curator of stars and muses?”

“Yeah.” Crowley agreed, “Something like that.” He stroked Aziraphale’s hair gently, “Let’s go back to bed Angel, ‘ssscold out here.”

“Of course, love.” Aziraphale managed, “And – and thank you.”

“Old behaviour, old feelings.” The demon replied as he opened the door for his husband, “And only a nickname for you.”

*

It was a couple of weeks before Crowley woke to find Aziraphale already awake and back to his regular form. The angel was pleased, though he felt a little sad at the thought of not being able to get pregnant again.

“Pfft, still a dirty angel.” Crowley chuckled as he cuddled him, “You still want jumping all the time, just to be full up with love.” He nuzzled the angel back down to the bed, where Aziraphale began to laugh, “Crowley no! I’ve only just put my waistcoat on!”

“And you’d happily have it off again quickly enough.” The demon laughed, nuzzling into his neck, “Let’s just enjoy ourselves, eh Angel?”

One of the babies let out a squeal. Crowley sighed theatrically, “Well, if somebody will let us.”

“Hand them over.” Aziraphale beamed, opening up his waistcoat and shirt again, “I enjoy it.”

Crowley laughed before going to get the twins.

Everybody up and fed, the angel was resting in the living room. The newborns were strapped into their bouncers and Freddie was showing them what noises he could make with his percussion tools. Crowley was making lunch. Aziraphale was recovered, he was sure, but the demon was still insistent he pamper him.

“Yeah, like that.” Freddie said. Aziraphale glanced over his book. Freddie had handed a wooden spoon to Ceres, who was twiddling it. She bopped Freddie with it and squealed at his squeak.

“Don't play your brother's skull, dear.” Aziraphale managed, a little concerned that the girl’s strength could hurt her brother. Not that Freddie seemed too bothered. He was too busy squealing, “That's new sound!”

“Not entirely new, Dear. You did play everybody else's skulls too.” The angel replied.

“Mine’s different!”

“Because you're little.” Aziraphale chuckled, “Your skull isn't so hard.”

Freddie bopped Ceres in return. She clashed spoons with him wildly, as best as she could. Freddie squealed, “Ow!”

“Yes, she's a strong one.” chuckled Aziraphale, “You’d be best not fighting her.” He paused, “And you, Corin?”

The boy smiled beatifically, and waved his arms and legs happily with a squeal.

“He dances.” Freddie informed his dad, “But he’s too little to dance proper.”

“And Ceres, dear?”

A squeal met him. Freddie giggled, “She’s singer.”

“Oh.” Well, that cleared up who was who, then!


	28. Chapter 28

“How did it get this late in the year already?” Aziraphale wondered. They had come to London in early December to shop for the children, leaving Harriet and Kellie in charge of their brood. For appearances sake a lot of the presents were in the back of the Bentley, just the big things had been miracled back to the attic. Aziraphale hoped nothing fell over up there, though he didn’t suppose Kellie would notice for the noise of the musical three. Freddie was as chatty as ever, of course; Ceres could make tiny, wordless sounds, and Corin had to be on the playmat instead of the carrier or he got upset that he couldn’t move. Ceres’ strength had been put down to bizarre genetics, and tales of Alexas’ antics as a child had been told.

Still, it was the first time they had left Kellie with their impossible children, and Aziraphale had taken some convincing, even knowing Harriet wouldn’t give them away.

“Well you spent most of it being kicked and with backache.” Crowley replied, from where he lounged on the park bench, “So I have no idea how it went so fast for you.”

The angel exhaled happily.

“Suppose we should split up and go looking for each other’s gifts.” The demon suggested, “Bit harder to get babysitters for 3 under 4s so we should probably do it now.”

“I suppose.” Aziraphale put one hand on his, stroking the knuckles gently, “Where shall we meet up?”

“I say we go to the Ritz for tea.”

“That would be delightful. We haven’t been in – in such a long time.”

“Well, as we don’t want to get back too late…” The demon pondered, “Should we hope for a cancellation for afternoon tea at 5.30? or 7.30?”

Aziraphale checked the time, “Mm… Maybe 7.30? Then we can enjoy the lights as we walk over?”

“Done.” The demon chuckled, “You and pretty lights…”

The angel lay his head on his husband’s shoulder, “Perhaps they remind me of stars, dear.”

“I’ll take you to the stars, you don’t need lights.”

“Maybe not today. Maybe today is perfect as it is?” the angel smiled up at him.

They parted, heading in opposite directions, something evidently in mind.

It was as Aziraphale made his way back through the park later, the air cold, crisp and dark around him, that he paused. The park was fairly busy still, so nobody else seemed to hear the yelp and screeches and jeers from one particularly dark corner.

Aziraphale hopped the little fence and headed in that direction. A moment later and he found himself clicking a light into being, “Excuse me? Is everything alright?”

There was a yelp and the angel made out three figures, and a fourth on the floor. Two of the figures were sat on the floor bound form, and the third had his phone in one hand and a beer can in the other, “Fuck me Jez it’s bloody horrible, keep hitting it.”

“Sirs…” Aziraphale warned, but was ignored. At that moment he opened the eye that lay within his protective mark, casting better light on the whole situation and letting shadows of his true self twitch across the now well lit scene.

“I do recommend.” He boomed, “That you disperse before I disperse you.”

The camera was pointing at him, not that it would see much for the blinding light of his eye.

“Another one! Jesus they’re everywhere!” Yelled camera man. He threw his can, which ricocheted back at him with gravitational force and struck him squarely in the head.

“Get out.” Aziraphale growled, flicking the phone from the man’s hand without touching him.

“Shit!” His companions had lost their bravado, but camera man was still drunk and angry, “Gimmie that back, we’re gunna send that to the bleedin’ police!”

“Evidence of you beating up a lone man?” Aziraphale questioned. He was aware of the other two to his left, and sent a mild shockwave to knock them to the floor, “If you don’t leave now, the police will be here to solve your assault, not this gentleman’s.”

The drunk thought for a moment, then seemed to think better of themselves, moving to slink past the angel. As they drew level though, they tried to dive at him. Aziraphale caught his neck with one hand, pushing him backwards against the nearest tree with a single swipe.

The man slid down the tree, stunned by the impact.

The three dealt with, Aziraphale strode to the figure on the ground. As he knelt to touch their shoulder, his hand brushed against an expensive scarf, and when he gripped the man’s shoulder…

“Excuse me, are you alright...?” A jolt shot through him. Familiarity, “…Gabriel?”

The man shaped being grunted unceremoniously before moving to stand, brushing himself down. He turned his head, “Aziraphale?”

The angel tried to smile politely, his fingers fluttering in front of him anxiously. The archangel looked him up and down in the dimming light of his grace, “So it is you. I didn't recognise you.”

Aziraphale smoothed his Christmas jumper out, “Festivities, Gab-”

Gabriel held up a hand, “Are you... well?”

Aziraphale blinked. This was unprecedented.

“I-I think so?”

“Good. I asked to see Michael, felt something disruptive... She told me there was an incident, that was all.” He laughed awkwardly, “Still rather have you than a couple of demons.”

Aziraphale flinched. Gabriel blinked, “I, er...” He looked down harder at the angel’s hands, fluttering nervously. Aziraphale swept them behind his back, holding his wrists still.

“Sorry.” He murmured.

“I’m not here being assaulted just so I can admonish you.” Gabriel said.

“Did you… want to tell me about world destroyers then?” Aziraphale couldn’t help the snark, by this point it was built into him.

“No.” Gabriel replied, “If anything I wanted to apologise. For that, anyway. And maybe… for trying to make you fall.”

“What-what are you?” Aziraphale had no words.

Gabriel shrugged, “And... I guess trying to execute you without a trial. It was a long few millennia. Nobody knew what she wanted... We thought it was to win. Evidently, she... wanted collaboration. Fraternisation.”

Aziraphale nodded, still a little dumbfounded, “Have you... seen Lucien?”

“Not since he cast me out, no.”

“You should.” The angel pressed, “I could ask him to-”

“No.” Gabriel said suddenly, “...No. Thank you. I was not a good parent. I didn’t want to be a parent. I don’t want to try. I did it for her, because I knew what she wanted. But I was not prepared for my... own feelings on the matter.”

“Gabriel?”

“She wishes us to be more human, but she does not wish us to disobey. And we came first. So, we are prototypes, less than human, not more. We have free will but are controlled, while they run free and unfettered until the end of their miserable lives.” Gabriel managed, “I will not be returning to that... reminder that I am inferior.” He turned away, moving back towards the lights of the path.

“Gabriel? Why did they attack you?” Aziraphale asked suddenly, chasing after him.

“Beats me. Third time in six months.”

“Oh.” Aziraphale looked to the phone that lay unceremoniously on the ground, still awake and recording.

“I'm glad you and your children were alright.” Gabriel said, at a distance now.

“You would like Lucien.” Aziraphale called after him, “He only wants to do the right thing, too...”

“Maybe you shouldn't tell him where he gets it.” Gabriel glanced back. He was scuffed from the event, but otherwise seemed fine, “I'll see you around, Aziraphale.”

“You too…” The angel swallowed, “Happy Christmas Gabriel!”

The retreating shape waved a dismissive hand at that. Aziraphale waited to watch him vanish into the crowd before sweeping up the phone, gazing at the screen. He still didn’t know a great deal about these things, but it took him less than a second to realise there was a logo in the corner, a certain filter running. He waved a hand in front of the camera. It was ghostly, ethereal, a lion’s paw. He hit stop on the video, and clicked his fingers. In an instant the offending media file had gone, and he deposited the phone back in its owner’s lap before returning to the path and hurrying on to his rendezvous with Crowley.


	29. Chapter 29

Lucien gazed skywards. Uriel was teaching him the history of some of the stars. At length a name came up, and the lad grinned widely, “So Demons can paint the skies too?”

“Could, a long time ago, before they were demons.” Uriel replied quietly.

“Do you think we could make some new stars? In celebration of reunification?”

“What did you have in mind, my Prince?”

Lucien snorted, “Uriel I’m going to ask you to call me by name every time you call me that and see who gives in first.” He paused, hugging his knees to him where he sprawled in the egg-shaped chair, “Just something to confuse the humans for a while. Like another what-if Dyson sphere, or something else to rival the moon in the night sky.” He chuckled mischievously, “Or changing a star to give off radiation that inexplicably reminds you of cherry bakewells.”

He pushed himself into a standing position. The observation room was low gravity if he desired it, and he desired it right now, travelling up a little, spreading his wings to press his hands against the not-glass of the rounded ‘ceiling’.

“Or we could tease Crowley by changing the rads from his favourite work.”

“Will he notice?” Uriel asked, “He seems rather preoccupied with Aziraphale and his brood.”

Something flashed in Lucien’s left eye. He grinned, “He will. Later. When the need to look again seizes him.”

“It… seems a little unsporting, my Prince.”

“Pfft.” Lucien chuckled, “It’s a mystery. He’s smart. He ought to like one.”

“By the sounds of what Ashtara told us, he’s not keen on the current one.”

“He’s just got to trust me. He can distrust anybody else – he’s got the history to distrust anybody else. But he knows me. And Uncle ‘Zira’s probably already figured it out.” The lad reached as if to touch a tiny speck of light, “Maybe this one then. Light Cassiopeia up in a whole new spectrum of radiation.” 

“I’m not sure Crowley ever-”

Lucien turned to face the angel a moment, grinning, “Not just Crowley’s going to see it, though. I hope they do an ad campaign and plaster rainbows in the underground for this.”

He came to land, and slumped back in his chair, smiling to himself as he cupped his hands in his lap. A small ball of light formed there. Uriel gasped, “My Prince you’re-”

“Still experimenting.” He chuckled, “And excited to see what they all come up with.” He blew the light from his palm, watching it bounce higher and higher around the viewing room until it gained enough momentum to shoot through the ‘glass’ without damaging it, and off into reality.

“Not too close.” He murmured, closing his eyes, “There you go. Out there.”

Uriel paused as the infant star settled itself into an empty corner, apart from any star nursery, to better confuse the stargazers of the future. Lucien smiled, seeing briefly the future flickers of confusion in the life forms who noticed. Just for his own amusement he stamped the outline of a police box on the dark side of the moon on his mind’s way back.

“Why haven’t you paired up, Uriel?” The boy asked suddenly. Uriel jumped, realising he was done playing with the stars and was back to gazing innocently at her.

“I-I didn't know you desired more pairings? And the messes some of them have gotten into-”

Lucien laughed, not unkindly, “No, silly! I mean, all these beings around, there's got to be someone or two out there for you, right? Or three, I don't mind.”

“I, er.” Uriel shook her head, “It's not a thing I was prepared for yet.”

“Oh! Well that's fine. So long as you weren't sad and wanting to look around. Instead of teaching me.”

“You are very kind, but…” The angel tailed off, a question forming, “Lucien... What if I don't want to? If I'm fine, as I am?”

“Oh, like Aromantic? Or maybe even Asexual? That's good too. So long as you're happy.” The boy smiled, an expression that seemed itself full of stars, “So which is that one?” He pointed to the sky. Uriel took a moment to catch up with the young god-to-be’s train of thought.

“Which one?”

“The... nebula thing over there...”

*

Aziraphale was watching the children one afternoon in the garden. The twins were 7 months old, and coming on brilliantly, with flecks of speech imitation, and attempts at standing a plenty. He was proud, and proud of their brother too, who was playing well with them, and helping them stand, and repeating words when they were trying to mimic sounds.

They were all extremely easy going, and Aziraphale almost regretted that they would be up and walking soon, and so less easy to keep tabs on. And with Freddie starting school this year, well. Another helping hand gone. He worried at his lip and reminded himself that Freddie was a handful all on his own.

Ceres looked up at him thoughtfully a moment later. Her gold eyes were astonishingly bright, maybe even a little out of place paired with her blonde wavy hair, and Aziraphale wondered if hair dye or associated miracles were in her future. For now though, she had no body image issues, and he wanted to keep it that way. His own had given to flaring up again since the twin’s difficult arrival, and it was only the thought he might teach his poor behaviour to the children that was really keeping it in check.

“Are you alright, sunshine?” Crowley’s occasional nickname for Freddie had soon become a shared one for Ceres; Everything about her was golden after all. Including her freckles.

“A.” she grunted, crawling on her knees across the playmat towards his chair. The angel sat up and leaned forwards to offer her his hands.

“What do you need? Do you want a snack? Or a drink?” He asked as clearly as he could. Ceres paused before hefting herself up on the leg of his trousers, ignoring his hands.

“Let me.” He smiled, and helped her into his lap despite her indignant squeals, “Was that it, you just wanted a cuddle?”

“N'el.”

“Oh really?” Aziraphale humoured her, “That is nice.”

“N'el! NelNel nel!” The girl chanted. Aziraphale paused, gazing at her thoughtfully.

“A'el!”

The penny dropped, “No, Ceres. No, ‘Daddy’, please.”

“A el!”

“No no, ‘Daddy’. Not ‘Angel’, that’s... only your father calls me that!” He blushed.

“You alright Angel?” Crowley asked, poking his head around the door.

“AEL!” Ceres demanded.

“Oh, really?” Crowley chuckled, “And what does your dad say about all this?”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale managed, “She’s saying Angel! She’s calling me Angel!”

“Lucky you, though I’ll be jealous if Corin names you first as well.”

“No! No Crowley, She’s calling me Angel. Not Daddy.”

Crowley grinned cheekily, “Whoops. Had to happen with one of them.”

Aziraphale huffed. Ceres just laughed.

“C’mon you.” Crowley knelt beside the chair, “What’s the big idea? Who’s that?”

“AEL!” She squealed.

“Nah, That’s your dad.”

“AEL.” She glared.

“Daddy.” He insisted.

“Ceres shook her head and turned back to Aziraphale, cuddling his tummy as best as her little arms could, “Ael.”

Crowley snorted, “You’re a tyke, you know that? Do you want to upset your dad?”

There was no reply.

“I’ll cope.” Aziraphale said suddenly.

“Sure?”

“Mm.” the angel nodded, “I only just realised. She’s sending out love every time she says it. Like you.”

“Ngk!”

*

September came far too quickly for everybody involved in Freddie starting Nursery school. Aziraphale put a brave face on it, never really having been away from his beloved child. He kissed his forehead at the front door and gave him a small blessing of his own invention. Crowley took the other end of the drive there, sitting in the Bentley with the boy on the school car park before taking him in.

“You alright?” He asked, knowing the answer already.

“Mm.” Freddie replied. He had been bathed, his hair trimmed and the length of it tied into a ponytail, and his new shoes shone bright in the early autumn sunshine. Crowley was torn between feeling proud of his boy for the lace on his socks, and feeling terrified that the little hellions starting alongside him might be already too indoctrinated in gender politics not to make a big deal of it.

Adam’s presence generally kept Tadfield and the surrounding area chilled out, but you never knew how far afield the kids were coming from.

“You’ll be fine. And if anybody picks on you, well… I’ll see to them. Serpent, see. Their parents will wish they never taught their kids wrong…” He leaned on the window frame, “School’s not such a big thing. I mean it is right now but it won’t be in a few weeks. And if it is, well. We’ll deal with it then.”

The boy remained silent. Crowley was at a loss, “Talk to me, Freddie…”

“Don’t want…” He mumbled, “Want to be at home with sibs.”

“And you will be.” The demon reached to pat his back, “You’ll only be on your own a couple of hours, I’ll pick you up at 12.”

The boy twisted his hands up together. Crowley sucked his teeth. That was one thing he’d have to keep an eye on. He didn’t want a repeat of Ariel’s meltdowns. If Freddie was anything like his neurodiverse sibling, he wasn’t going to let him go for so long before noticing it.

“How long?”

“Ten minutes.” Crowley replied.

The boy leaned forwards, took a tape from the glove compartment, and put it in the player.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really struggling to keep remembering when I'm meant to post stuff, so apologies 😭


	30. Chapter 30

“Alright everyone.” Headteacher Mr. Trevelion, a middle aged man who had gone prematurely grey, addressed his teaching staff, “Settle down, anybody would think you already knew what I have to say... Mr Tuttle, put that physics book away. You've all had the new term announcements in the whatsapp, but there’s just a few things I’ve had to leave that’s best kept on a face to face basis.” He took a deep breath and glanced over the assembled staff.

“One: there will be NO milk in the school meals this term. after the incident with… the bats.”

One or two of the staff visibly responded to the reminder of last years sports day.

“Two : … Are you listening Mr. Speakman? Do NOT encourage students to use anything other than the liquid soap. The amount of complaints we had about paint and gravy ruined school uniforms…”

He took another deep breath. No time like the present, time to get this over with…

“Three… There’s another Fell-Crowley starting this term...” He paused at the mixed apprehension and dismay, “Alright, alright settle down, it’s only the one of them this time.”

“The last singleton was handful enough!” Somebody muttered.

“Yes, well, thankfully he was bright enough to leave early.” Trevelion cleared his throat, “On that note, Four: as a result of point three there will be NO science in lower school involving naked flames, combustible chemicals or mints in pop. Upper school will be allowed to continue when they move up to the new buildings in the winter.” He rocked on his toes, “I think I speak for everybody here when I repeat it’s a damn good job the last Fell-Crowley through our doors was already platinum blonde.”

“Wish they’d stop pushing them out.” Somebody muttered, “Can’t get a word in edgeways for questions.”

Trevelion shushed them with a hand gesture, “They’re also extremely intelligent children, or they have been so far. They do the school proud. So long as we can get through the time they’re here. Anyway, that’s all I had to say, to the playground with you all. Miss Winwood, I’ll bring the Nursery class down when I’ve spoken with Mr. Crowley.”

“You haven’t met the kid yet, have ye?” Asked the first year teacher Mx Rotherheim.

“No Adi, but I am about to. Dismissed.”

With that Trevelion left the staff room, aware of the rising panic behind him. Oh well. In 30 years of teaching he had seen a lot of children, and none compared to the Fell-Crowleys – or indeed, any child those children chose to mix with. Fearful as the staff were, any one of them would admit if pressed that yes, they had a habit of sparking the best out of their friends and classmates.

And of course, there were more to come…

“You’ve got 4 years to quit before the real chaos starts.” He muttered, unheard, to his colleagues, as he walked through to his office and took a deep breath.

“Ben, show Mr. Crowley in, would you?”

“Pfft, I don’t need showing in.” Crowley snorted as he entered the room, “Certainly not after that incident with the storage cupboard. I see you’ve replaced those.”

Trevelion breathed hard and indicated the chairs on the other side of his desk, “Please take a seat.”

As Crowley sauntered through (How did his legs even move like that?) He got his first glimpse of Frederick. He was tall for four, but not as skinny as his father. He looked like he had been scrubbed clean to make a good impression – Mr. Fell at least seemed embarrassed by the trouble his children caused and this looked to be his handiwork. But something had gone awry with the good first impression. Frederick wasn’t self-assured like Alice, or shyly polite like Ariel. And he definitely wasn’t overconfident and overenthusiastic like Alexas.

Frederick looked anxious, his polo shirt rumpled where his little hands had kneaded at it, and he clung to his father’s hand until he was settled in a chair.

Despite everything, Trevelion had always found it hard to dislike Crowley. He was sarcastic, brash and sometimes quick to anger - but the way he dealt with his children had always been completely focussed. He recognised and appreciated a man who cared for his family above all else.

“Well now, here again.” He started.

“Couldn’t stay away.” Crowley replied, “Think Angel’s trying to recreate his childhood family.”

Ah yes, it was all coming back now. The trans man who’s large and extremely religious family had abandoned him when he came out. He nodded, “So, I trust you received all the information about the changes here since your last child… left us.”

He had been glad to get rid of Alexas. The boy was always so happy, eager to learn, but he couldn’t keep going to the school board to explain, or to the council to ask for money to replace the science room walls. In the end he had put Alexas forward for the scholarship knowing that the board were baying to send him elsewhere – and knowing that despite everything, Alexas didn’t deserve expulsion.

“Yup. New buildings again?” Crowley snorted.

“Well, Alexas did leave us with rather a predicament that kept on giving, as it were.”

“So, you eventually set up a portacabin and pulled the building down?”

“He can think of it as his legacy.” That at least drew a smirk from the red headed man (That had to be dyed, how else would he not look a day older than when he and his husband had brought the twins to a meeting very like this one?)

Eager to move on before he could sour the mood, he switched attention to the child instead.

“So, this is Frederick.”

“Hope it is or he’s slipped out when I wasn’t looking.” Crowley quipped. Freddie bit his lip, but a smile was breaking through as he glanced to his dad.

“What do you like to be called, young man?”

“Freddie, please Sir.” The reply was barely a whisper.

“Freddie, there we are. I’m Mr. Trevelion. Nothing to be worried about here, son.”

“No sir.” The boy replied, eyes down. The headteacher made a mental note to ask Miss Winwood to keep an eye on this one for Neurodiversity too.

There was a pause. Crowley was amused to watch the human struggling with his expectation vs the reality before him.

“Don’t get too relaxed.” He warned, “I assure you he’s every bit as much mine as Alexas is.”

“Well.” The human blustered, “I’m sure you know your older sisters and brother made names for themselves in their time here?”

“Sir, Ari is Nonbinary.” The boy pronounced the word perfectly. Trevelion raised his eyebrows, “Ah, you also have a way with words. I apologise, your siblings. I’ll remember that.”

“Go on Freddie.” Crowley murmured gently, “You show him what you can do.”

“Mr. Crowley-” Trevelion panicked, not wanting to lose another wall, but Crowley waved a hand, “Go on son.”

“What shall I-?”

“Whatever you fancy.”

Freddie slipped from his chair and tucked his hands behind his back, “Er… I think…” with that, shyness forgotten, he launched into song. Innuendo, by Queen. Crowley tapped his foot in time, taking in the headmaster’s stunned expression.

“Good, isn’t he?” The demon grinned.

“My word. How on earth does he know such lyrics?”

“Bright lad, aren’t you?” Crowley chuckled, “It’s alright Freddie, one verse is enough.”

“But dad…”

“I’ll rewind the tape before I pick you up.”

The boy beamed.

“Freddie, that was astounding! I can see you’re going to enjoy yourself when it comes to Christmas plays!”

“Told you you were going to be fine.” Crowley whispered conspiratorially to the boy, “Are you going to be okay son?”

Freddie patted his hand, “See you at 12, Dad.”

*

Neither Aziraphale or Crowley knew what the demon was going to have to cope with when he went back a couple of hours later. The Angel busied himself with the twins, while Crowley told him all about it.

“He’s such a sensitive child.” Aziraphale fretted, “I wish he didn’t have to go.”

“You want to home-school?” Crowley chuckled, “Come on Angel, we’ll let him have a few weeks. Either he’ll get over his fear or he won’t, and if he needs to be home-schooled well, we’ll deal with it. It will probably do him the world of good though, given we never really managed to get him into the toddler group with everything going on last year.”

“I know.” The angel replied, “I hope he’s doing alright.”

Crowley didn’t push any harder. The truth was they were both far more cautious over how Freddie was going to respond than they were over Alice and Ariel, or especially Alexas (He had gone straight into the middle of the other children and immediately started playing, for Satan’s sake)

They hadn’t known that first time that their children could have as many problems as Ariel had with change, and Aziraphale was otherwise occupied with working out how to spawn their almost antichrist son. But now they did know, and it made Crowley worry for the child.

A couple of hours later, Aziraphale was putting out some sandwiches for his red-heads to tuck into when Crowley got back with Freddie. He paused when he heard the Bentley. All was quiet. He worried at his lip as he stood, turning towards the living room door.

Then Freddie burst in with his arms around Ceres, crooning as he shuffled along with her, “You remind me of the babe!”

“Whaabbe!” Ceres squealed. Corin had been picked up by his father from the hallway. They must have been waiting for their leader.

The angel met his son’s eye, and relaxed, “Oh my sweet child.” He scooped both of them up in a tight hug as the boy squealed delightedly.

“Going back tomorrow aren’t you?” Crowley chuckled as he added Corin and himself to the pile.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're changing it up this time ❤ I hope you're all still along with me for this ride!

When the twins eventually started playgroup a couple of years later, Crowley began to fret a little. Although having the quiet for a few hours was great, since his revelations on the passage of time he was starting to understand exactly what his angel had been going through the summer Alice and Ariel started school.

Aziraphale didn’t show the same distress, at least not outwardly. But Crowley had started thinking, and as January and Freddie’s birthday passed, and March and Jennet’s birthday loomed (She was going to be 19, and he hadn’t been able to believe it last year when she turned old enough in human years to do everything!), he had come to a decision.

The twins were 4 and Freddie was 8, when Aziraphale came down to breakfast on a Saturday morning in early February to find the kids watching tv in the living room, and Crowley in the kitchen, today wearing a form a little different to his default.

“Hello dear.” he smiled. It wasn't an unusual switch – Crowley had always been a what-I-feel-like-today demon and that had increased again lately so he wasn't surprised. The glass of wine though, his partner leaning against the kitchen counter in a tiny dress like a Bond girl... “It's that sort of morning today? What have the children done?”

“Actually, I was wondering...” Crowley managed, “I. I said about c-carrying the next one...”

Aziraphale blinked.

“Baby?”

“Oh!” Aziraphale blinked, “I'm in no rush, dear...”

“Yeah but... I might be.”

“Dear?” the angel was concerned, “What’s wrong?”

“Ngk, no Angel, nothing's wrong. Just. Just me.” She twitched involuntarily, “I want to get on with it.”

“Well I wouldn't say no...” Aziraphale blinked, “But Crowley, are you sure with them still so young?”

“Freddie’s good with them, Angel. He'll help, I know he will. He loves little kids.”

“I know he will, but I wouldn't want him to do too much.”

“4 was a good number once.”

“It was...” Aziraphale tailed off.

“I want to do this for you.” Crowley managed, “An' okay, I don't want to get cold feet or let you down. I want to do this while I'm -ngk- confident.”

“Oh, my dear.” The angel moved to hold her, “You don't have to do it at all if you're going to be that worried!”

“No. I don't. But I want to, Angel. And not just for you. Want this… before they go to proper school.”

“Dear…” Aziraphale squeezed him gently, “You’re always giving.”

“Isn't it you doing the giving this time, Angel?” Crowley purred, more confident now, “Come on. While Bandlands on they won't move.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale squeaked as he was dragged outside and towards the car.

*

“Ooooh…” Crowley chuckled, pressed to the back seat as she was, “It's been a while, Angel. Forgot how good this felt.”

Aziraphale chuckled, “Yes, well. Remember those words when you're in labour, dear.” The angel paused, gazing down at his partner with a beautific smile. Crowley raised an eyebrow, “You can’t have forgotten what to do up there.”

“No, no I just. Are you sure, dear?”

Crowley snorted, “I crafted all the parts from remembering how yours felt, believe me I'm happy enough, quit stalling, Bandland’s only an hour long.”

Aziraphale kissed him, “Would you be doing this if I hadn't mentioned the Greeks had 9 muses?”

“Probably not, but equally you wouldn't be lamenting how long it will take you to rebuild your insides. This is the easiest way Angel. Get to work, get knocking!”

Aziraphale chuckled, “Not exactly romantic is it?”

“Romance my ass, if I'm getting knocked up it’s from a tipsy fumble in the back of the car with my innocent bastard of an Angel. That's my aesthetic.” She winked. Aziraphale chuckled, “I suppose it is. Well. Here I come.”

Crowley began to laugh, “I certainly hope so-ohhh!”

*

Aziraphale had never really taken the aggressive lead outside of his heat. Although he knew what things to do, he was more the type to take things slowly, to try showering his beloved with the care and attention he had been denied for 6000 years.

Crowley had other ideas, “Angeeel…” She nipped the Angel’s neck, “We want a baby! Quit being bashful!”

Somehow (Aziraphale suspected a miracle) the angel found his own back against the leather seat, a blanket sliding between him and it a moment later as the Demon rode him.

“I was trying to make it good for you…”

“You’re my *Angel* - it’s always good for me.”

“Oh Crowley… My dear…”

*

When they were done, Aziraphale had rolled slightly to hold Crowley close. The demon mewled at him and nuzzled to his chest, and much as Aziraphale wanted to stay here and bask in the warmth and love they shared, he knew they had to go and make sure the children were alright.

Miracling themselves clean, and clothes on them both, he wrapped his arms around the demon and swept him from the car. Crowley let himself be pampered. The angel had miracled him into a silk nightdress and shorts, and he was distantly aware that his Blitz church burns were visible on his bare feet, his currently-present scales seared flat to his flesh there.

“Does it still hurt?” The angel had noticed. It wasn’t as though Crowley was barefoot often, only at the beach or in the bath, and this was the first time in some time he’d caught his husband’s feet with scales.

“Nuh. S’fine. Bit numb.” Crowley purred at him absently. Aziraphale carried him into the hall and the demon chuckled, “No thresholds here.”

“Except the pleasure.” The angel chuckled absently, “We’ve been far more active than I ever thought we would be, when we moved here.”

He pushed the living room door open. The children had vacated the room – he could hear them playing music upstairs and bouncing on the bed. The sofa, with a click, was tidied, and the cushions scattered in just the right way that Crowley exhaled in relaxation and comfort when he was placed there.

“Remote.” The angel pressed the device into the demon’s hand, “I’ll be right back.”

“Angeeeelllll…” Crowley whined.

“Shhh. Just rest.”

The demon settled back. They heard the angel pop upstairs, heard the music quieten a little. Then he returned and went to the kitchen.

The demon whined again. There was a dull ache in their pelvis.

Aziraphale returned a few minutes later with two mugs. Crowley sniffed, “You left me for hot chocolate?”

“Not just any hot chocolate.” The angel lifted them gently to sneak underneath, positioning the demon’s head on his own chest. He handed them a mug.

“Angel, liqueur, really? What happened to-?”

“It won’t be implanted yet. Enjoy it. I won’t let you have it again.”

The demon pulled a face, but sipped at the mug. It was hot and sweet, and they finished it quickly before melting back against their husband’s soft form.

Aziraphale finished his own before leaning to kiss Crowley’s forehead, “Lazy day dear. Or at least until lunchtime.”

*

Crowley continued to feel mildly uncomfortable all morning, despite the warmth and attention they were receiving. Aziraphale played with their hair and murmured soft things, at least until 1pm neared and they could hear the children playing on the stairs, obviously ready for lunch.

“I suppose I had better make some dinner, did you have any preference, dear?” The angel asked at length.

“Just a few more minutes.” The demon asked, “Please?”

Aziraphale smiled, “Just a couple.”

“You’re really warm.” Crowley said suddenly.

“Me? It’s you, dear.” The angel worried, “Are you alright?”

The demon twisted back against the angel with a whine, the heat refusing to subside. It felt like being hammered with ever increasing light, until in a blink it was gone. They sat up in shocked realisation, realising the change, clutching at their middle.

“Crowley!? Are you alright?” Aziraphale worried.

Crowley's jaw wobbled a little. They reached for Aziraphale’s hand and, returning to the horizontal position, placed it just so. The angel squeaked.

“Oh… Well done my darling!” He sniffed, tears in his eyes as he held his partner tight.

“Eh, team effort.” The demon snorted. Aziraphale kept his hand in place, interlocking their fingers, “My dear… It's so warm...”

“Takes after you already.” Crowley chuckled.

*

It took less than 6 hours for the questioning to start.

“Hang on.” Crowley managed, as he sat at the kitchen table, knees up against the table itself and hands on his slender middle, still a little in disbelief.

“What is it?” Aziraphale asked, looking up from his book.

“How were we lucky enough to get caught first time?!”

Aziraphale blinked, “You’re a good understudy?”

“I’ll ignore that innuendo, you cheeky bastard.” The demon replied, “It took you time to get accurate at this. This is my first time and boom, one bun in the oven. It’s almost-”

“Ineffable?”

Crowley stared at his husband, eyes wide, “Are you suggesting a celestial agency interfered in our pregnancy?!”

“The Lord does have form.” Aziraphale replied, placing his book down on the table, “And history of div-”

“Don’t you dare go wittering on about divine intervention Angel.” Crowley growled, “Else I’m going to tell you it was infernal!”

The angel made a palms-down motion for his husband to calm down. The demon pushed his chair away from the table and got up to pace crossly, at least until Aziraphale moved to hold him, “Dear… She loves you. Probably more than she loves me these days. And you, we… wanted this.”

“I wanted this under my own steam-”

“It might not have been her! And if it was, all she did was do us a favour, after it took me so long to work it out with Lex.” He kissed his husband’s cheek, holding him close, “And it doesn’t take away from the fact you, my beautiful, clever husband, built all the right parts to make our child, first time. You’re still a starmaker, still have that wonderful creative streak.”

Crowley swallowed back words, unable to speak. The angel had kept to his promise, never speaking the name since the night Jennet had asked. Then his Angel was proud – of him alone?

Aziraphale nuzzled his ear and stroked his abdomen, “My dear… That which holds the image of an angel, becomes itself an angel, a wise person once said.”

He released Crowley with a kiss.

The demon paused just a minute, cogs in his brain turning, before finding his words, “That wasn’t what the Doctor was talking about!”

“No, well it wouldn’t be.” The angel wiggled happily, “I married the angel long before he chose to indulge me by crafting our child.”

Crowley’s speech descended into embarrassed syllables at this specific brand of teasing, “Angel – too -much- stop iiittt!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't intended Aziraphale to come off as quite so much of a little bastard at the end there... but I'm struggling to see any other way I could have got out of that!


	32. Chapter 32

“Mmf.”

They had left it a few weeks before telling anybody just to be sure, as at first there were no signs but the warmth and the occasional discomfort. Crowley wondered if that was what was left of his demonhood complaining about being used in this manner. Aziraphale wondered if it was his Angelic tinted grace disagreeing with where he had left it.

Whatever it was, Crowley woke one morning in early April to find Aziraphale placing a tray beside him.

“Brought breakfast up with you?” He snorted.

“Its for you.”

“Angel? I don’t eat in the morning.”

“Crowley.” Aziraphale looked at him, the hint of a smile crinkling his eyes, “By 10am yesterday you had eaten toast, eggs, cereal and 2 apples.”

“Yeah but…” The demon sniffed, “Is that marmalade?”

“Mmhm.”

“Sold.”

Aziraphale beamed and handed the plate of marmalade on toast over. Crowley stuck his tongue out and waggled it, tasting the scent of the food in every way his body allowed.

“We should tell the children soon.” The Angel said as he hunkered down by his husband’s bony knees, massaging them gently.

“Mm.” Crowley replied through his toast.

“Maybe later though.” The angel chuckled, “I like watching you eat for a change.”

“While you’re down there…” The demon mumbled, “Mind taking a peek under the blanket?”

“Oh?” The angel had a little look, “Oh, that’s an interesting effort.”

“Try it after I’ve eaten.”

Aziraphale considered, then clicked his fingers, “Fantasia 2000 about to begin on ITV.”

“Good thinking, Angel.”

*

It was a good hour and a half later when the pair, showered and dressed, finally made an appearance. The film had ended, and as usual, Corin’s wings were out from joy at all the dancing.

“’Ve been good!” He squeaked when they walked in. Crowley snorted.

“Of course you have.” Aziraphale beamed indulgently, “But, uhm… All of you, your father and I have something to tell you.”

Freddie’s eyes widened. He flew from his seat, frowning, and put his palm on Aziraphale’s waist. The worry in his eyes as he looked up near broke the Angel’s heart.

“You are a clever lad, but that's not quite right.” Crowley told him gently.

“It's your father who’s pregnant this time.” Aziraphale added, holding Freddie’s shoulders gently. The boy beamed, hugging the angel tightly, surprising them all.

“S’good. I hated you being poorly.”

Aziraphale stroked his hair, “No Freddie, I won't be ill. But your father might be, a little.”

Crowley snorted.

“Were we bad?” Corin asked earnestly. Aziraphale flustered, taken completely off guard by the question, “No, my loves, no, whatever made you think that?”

Corin glanced at Ceres but she just blinked at him. He continued shyly, “We your babies. Now new babies.” He dropped his head.

“Oh no, no my son.” Aziraphale replied, “There’s enough love to go around!”

Crowley hefted the boy up, to Aziraphale’s dismay, “Nobody’s taking any love from you, Co-co. Bit of time. Bit of energy. But no love.” He nuzzled the boy’s temple, and he was rewarded by a giggle.

“Don’t worry.” He murmured.

*

Crowley woke up a few mornings later already hungry. He got up, threw on a T-shirt and stretched. He felt a little odd; his head was a little floaty.

“Gunna get kids up.” He yawned. Aziraphale stretched, still warm in bed. The demon slouched out. His legs wobbled. He got as far as the landing before he managed, “Ngk, that’s weird.” And passed out.

He wasn’t out long.

“Crowley! Crowley, are you alright?”

“Mmfms.”

“Is that a yes..?”

“Wha'hit me?”

“You hit the floor dearest.” Aziraphale was rubbing his limbs gently to be sure nothing was damaged.

“..Sssoidid.”

“Dear. Please. Are you okay?”

“'Feelssssweird.”

“Weird how?”

Crowley muttered something incomprehensible.

“Crowley, please tell me...” The angel worried.

“Let me ssssleeep.” The demon grumbled.

“On the landing floor?”

“Gravity works.” The demon muttered. He wriggled, as if attempting to right himself as a snake might, but gave up a moment later, “Mmmmph.”

“Just-just let me help you up…” The angel tried, and grunted, “You can… be less like a limp noodle if you like, dear.”

“Can’t.”

“Oh dear, oh my dear…” The angel managed. He hefted the demon into his arms and returned him to the bed, “Stay here love, I’ll get you some breakfast-”

“Nuh.”

The demon didn’t want food, despite his stomach’s loud complaints. He rested all day, dizzy, drained and nauseous. Aziraphale fretted, and tried to amuse the children as best he could.

Come bedtime, he brought up some dry toast which his husband wolfed down, only for it to make a reappearance unexpectedly shortly afterwards.

So unexpectedly infact, that the angel had to click them fresh bedsheets while the demon stumbled to the en-suite.

“There, there dear.” He murmured as he joined him, “Let’s shower, hm? You might feel more refreshed.”

*

Crowley didn’t, and they spent a miserable night together, Aziraphale stroking Crowley’s hair as he whined unhappily and his stomach growled unendingly. Today had been the first time Aziraphale had ever heard such a thing from his husband, and was alarmed by it.

Morning dawned after a long and broken night not sleeping.

“Ziraphale?” Crowley whined at 5am.

“Mm?” the angel rolled to face his partner.

“Feel rotten.” She muttered, nuzzling into his chest.

“I know. Just don't throw up on me dear.” Aziraphale teased as he wrapped his arms around her, “Or we'll have to share a shower again.”

“Oh, woe.” Crowley muttered, letting the angel stroke the dimples on her lower back, “Oh... Angel.”

The angel wiggled happily at the demon’s contentment despite feeling obviously poorly. A click opened the curtains. They usually got the sun through that window when it rose, and the angel was determined to help somehow.

It worked a little at least. Crowley actually managed a couple of hours sleep. Aziraphale made him some breakfast, but he only picked at it. Worried, the Angel rang Anathema.

“So suddenly? That’s… intriguing.”

“Good or bad intriguing?” the angel scrunched his phone cable in his fist. His study was the only place he felt safe talking without revealing to the children quite how worried he was, and it just happened to be the place his antique wired phone was.

“I would have to do some reading.” She replied, “But I’ll brew him something to try and help.”

“That would be appreciated, I don’t know what to do for the best. He was eating very well, but he’s gone off everything now…”

“Dad?” came a soft call. Aziraphale gripped the phone tightly, “One moment dear!”

Freddie’s golden eyes peered at him around the edge of a bookcase.

“How can we help?” He asked.

Anathema chuckled in the Angel’s other ear.

“You could start with baking. Something with ginger.” She chuckled, “I’ll call around later.”

*

Crowley groaned when Aziraphale came up to their bed later, “Angel...”

“It’s alright Crowley, I'm here.”

“Feelike headsssome'where else.”

“I know dear.” The angel replied, “Anathema is coming over later with something to help.”

Crowley whined. His stomach growled crossly.

“Oh, dear...” Aziraphale picked up a plastic box he had placed on the nightstand, “Frederick and I made ginger biscuits, if you want to try... But you have to suck it gently, don't try to wolf it down, no matter how hungry you are.” He took one and broke a piece off.

“Mmpf.” The demon snaked his tongue and stuck it out for a piece of biscuit. Aziraphale put a piece on and the tongue practically rolled up back into his mouth.

“Dontlikethissssss.”

“I don't either. I didn't know you'd get so poorly dear, I'm sorry.”

“Ngk.” Crowley rolled back over and buried his head in his pillow.

*

It never rains but it pours. Even as Aziraphale was reading Anathema’s instructions on how to brew up what she had given him last night (Crowley had been asleep and he hadn’t the heart to wake him again when he was peaceful) The phone rang.

“Messrs Crowley and Fell, What up?” He heard even as he moved to find where he’d left his phone. A minute later, Freddie came careering out of the living room with the phone extended in his hand as though it were hot, “Fr’you dad.” His eyes were wide.

“Frederick, what-” but the boy had ducked back into the room, blushing furiously. Aziraphale raised the phone to his ear. He raised an eyebrow.

“Gabriel, I’ll thank you not to use those words when my children answer the phone.”

There was a pause.

“That wasn’t the demon’s answer machine?”

“Answer… what?” Aziraphale blinked.

“Never mind – listen…” Gabriel snapped, then paused. A frightening thought arose in the angel’s mind, “Gabriel.. are you calling under duress? Just say.. uhm.. Dickens? If you are being coerced.”

There was another, shorter pause. Then his former supervisor snapped, “I am an ARCHangel! … Was. Was an Archangel. I do not get coerced.”

A laugh rang out in the background. Aziraphale frowned.

“… Just ordered.” Gabriel admitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we all might have to come to terms with the fact that my posting schedule no longer means anything 😭


	33. Chapter 33

“How are you feeling?” Aziraphale asked, when he finally got the herbal tea concoction to his husband.

“Not gunna lie… feeling pretty sorry for myself.” Crowley replied. Sleep had helped him a little but he was still lying propped up in bed like the slightest movement would cause him to vomit all over it. Aziraphale could quite believe it after the last few days.

“Been thinking.” The demon continued, licking his lips nervously before putting voice to his question, “What if its punishment?”

“Punishment? What?”

“This.” The demon waved weakly to indicate himself. Aziraphale narrowed his eyes, “What on earth for?”

“C’mon Angel, ssserpent of Eden?!”

“Oh. I doubt it dear.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well it seems too simple and straightforward. Usually punishments aren't quite that easy to pin down.”

There was a pause. Aziraphale held his breath, knowing this wasn’t all on his husband’s mind.

“Crowley..?” He prompted gently, sitting beside him on the bed, eyes imploring he carry on. The demon gazed at him briefly, looking so fragile all of a sudden.

“What if I'm… meant to lose it though?”

Aziraphale’s eyes went wide, “Crowley, Crowley I- I can't think about that option, not again.” Tears welled in his eyes at the mere thought, “And even if so, I know you-you would do your best for them. There would be no blame on you.” he paused, putting his head in his hands, “You w-would always do your best?”

Crowley swallowed, his mouth dry, “A child, Angel, and our child at that, you don't need to ask.”

“No, no I really don’t, I'm sorry.” The angel shook his head, “I'm so sorry, I don’t know what-” he reached for the tray he’d brought up, handing Crowley the mug which he sipped delicately, pulling faces as he did.

“I won't talk about that option again.” He murmured.

“No, we. If we must. I will cope. For you.” Aziraphale managed.

Crowley squeezed his hand.

“I-I.” Aziraphale squeezed back.

“Breathe, Angel.”

“G-Gabriel is coming over.”

“Gabriel?!” Crowley’s expression clouded, “Why I- Ngk – I need HIS opinion like a hole in the-” He began to sit up, but Aziraphale pushed him gently but firmly back down, “Dear. Please, settle down. He doesn’t even know your, issues… Do you remember I told you he was being attacked by hooligans in St James' park a few Christmases ago? It happened again. A phone was involved again. It’s got to be that telephone device.”

“Hrm..” the demon reached for his phone and flicked idly at the screen. Aziraphale wrung his hands, “Crowley, I know we don't exactly like Gabriel but-”

“Sshh Angel, please, can't think.' The demon managed, one hand rubbing his stomach as it complained about the lack of food.

His hand stopped dead and his eyes widened. Aziraphale grabbed the nearby basin he had insisted on keeping close. Crowley waved it away from his nose. He made some unintelligible noises before settling on, “Oh no...”

“What?”

“The... the app. Its... Shit, Angel it’s one of mine.”

Aziraphale’s eyes widened now, “Dear, oh my, what on earth have you done? When?!”

“Didn’t realise!” Crowley defended, “It – It was dropped! Junked! Over 35 years ago! How wassss I to know they’d pick it back up?!”

“Are you quite sure it’s yours?” Aziraphale asked, trying to keep calm now he’d seen quite how distressed his husband was, “Maybe they developed it themselves?”

“The odds against the original studio dropping two ideas the same would be...” The demon huffed, “Astronomical…”

“You did do an awful lot of space.” The angel replied.

Crowley stared at him incredulously, brow furrowed and lips drawn tight.

“How does it work?” The angel asked.

“You-you are asking me to explain technology?”

“I’m not a fool, dear.”

“You expect things to work so therefore they do!”

“Pot and kettle my dear. I see you’re feeling better, as you’re arguing?”

The demon rolled his head on his pillow.

“It’s – ngk – It’s a filter. Landscape filter.”

“I gathered that.” Aziraphale wasn’t really meaning to be hard on the sick demon, but he had often thought of their children when the app was brought up, of Ariel’s wings in their wedding photos, of their safety and continued ability to work their talents in relative freedom, and it was making him extremely edgy.

“Adds hellfire.”

“It what?!”

“Isssss a hellfire filter. ‘Cept might have got it too accurate. They weren’t convinced it was… hell-y enough.”

“So you gave it a little umph.”

“Never had n’Angel in front of it. Makes sense though. Hellfire revealing the form of the angels it was made to destroy.”

Aziraphale nodded, taking in the enormity of it.

“So how do we stop it?”

“S’on every phone with the app.” The demon managed, “So need to change the code and send out an update patch. Brick it.”

Aziraphale stared at him witheringly.

“Sorry?” The demon grinned weakly.

“Even I know you have to do more than throw a brick at these things to stop them.”

Crowley snorted, “Brick it, Angel! Euphemism for-for break the damn thing!”

“Won’t that upset people?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time an update makes something unusable.”

“Isn’t that unethical?”

“Ask Steve Jobs.”

“I can't dear, your lot have him.”

“Peter Molyneux?”

Aziraphale paused, “Er…”

“Oh, right, sorry. I forgot.”

*

A little while later, Aziraphale had made sure Crowley was asleep and had the children working on things in Freddie’s room. He answered the door when he felt the presences nearby, “Good afternoon.”

Gabriel looked rough. The angel wondered why he hadn’t used a miracle to tidy himself up. Beelzebub must have noticed, because they snorted, “He doezzn’t zzpeak to _her_ , she doezzn’t zzzpeak to him.”

“I see.” He frowned at the third figure, “And just why are you here?”

“You’ll need someone who can draw from below.” Hastur grumbled, “And we heard Crowley was being pathetic.”

“Hardly pathetic, did you not experience morning sickness?” Aziraphale replied crossly.

“Dealt with it. Then again I dealt with everything… alone.” Hastur sneered, “I’m not soft.”

The angel bit his lip at that, “I’m quite sure you can’t have been as sick as Crowley, then.”

“Aziraphale.” Gabriel sighed, “Drop it.”

“Of course.” He stared, irritated, at Hastur before ushering the visitors into the living room. He waited until the door was shut to begin to speak, “I was speaking to Crowley earlier-”

“What does HE know about this?” Gabriel snapped. Aziraphale coughed, “If you would let me finish.” He paused before continuing, “Crowley knows a little about the inter net and how their programs work.”

“Going for a smoke.” Growled Hastur, “You three can thrash this shit out.”

“You only just got here.” Aziraphale replied, shaking his head exasperatedly. Beelzebub threw themselves at the sofa, relaxing back into it with a look of amusement, “What izz your zuggezztion, little muse maker?”

*

Crowley’s dreams had drifted from the inaccurately prophetic to the downright surreal since he became pregnant. Right now in his mind’s eye, he was being hurried through lurid landscapes in a wheelbarrow pushed by something right out of Tolkein. Wow, Aziraphale had gotten into his head, hadn’t he?

His response had become one of resignation by now.

“Evening.” he waved at the fish with human legs.

“Art thou not afeared?” asked his dwarven wheelbarrow pusher.

“Of this lot? Naah, disappointed my subconscious couldn't do better, frankly. I mean... Where's Anathema in a bikini? Or even Hastur in a bikini, I dunno?”

“Not on your life, you useless creature.”

Even in the dream, some part of Crowley realised. He gripped the edges of the wheelbarrow and sat up, only to wake himself when he fell back against the pillows, “Ngk.”

“Pathetic.” Hastur snorted.

“What brought you here, you toad?” the redhead managed.

“Wanted to see you suffering. I find that good.”

“Bastard.”

“Snake.”

“That’s not an-”

“Neither is toad.” Hastur had closed in, leaning hard on the bedsheets. Even now, his clothes and hair clean and his scales bright, there was still an undeniable stink of mould and pondweed to him. Crowley gagged.

“What is it, can’t keep a meal in you?” Taunted the demon. Crowley pushed at him and tried not to make it seem as though he was as weak as he was.

“Thought it were ironic. Being the Serpent who made Eve suffer. Who made us all suffer. Including your Angel.”

Crowley continued to fight to keep down his herbal tea.

“The serpent of Eden, suffering as he made the rest of us.” Hastur chuckled, “Can’t take it?”

The bedroom door opened suddenly.

“Get away from my Dad.” Freddie said, hoping he was pulling the right face for intimidating.

“Freddie, no, it’s okay.” Crowley choked.

“Bad man!” Ceres approached the demon crossly, “Dada’s poorly! Needs rest!”

Hastur stared at the little girl, her blonde hair stuck up in all directions, her face covered in felt tipped pen and her clothes in grass stains. He sneered.

“Another one too big for its own boots…”

Corin peered around the doorframe as Hastur gave a yelp. He hadn’t expected the toddler to be so strong, certainly not strong enough to slowly drag him from the room once she had him on the ground.

Crowley made another half-hearted attempt to wave the children away from the demon before he saw Hastur scrabble up and practically flee from the room. This was followed by an undignified thump and another yelp.

“Silly Toad.” Corin told him, “I practise ballet on stair rail.”

“Downstairs. Now.” Freddie ordered the demon, “Or she’s going to push you down.”

“You would bounce lovely.” Ceres giggled.

Hastur left abruptly.

“Are you alright Dad?” Freddie asked as the three piled back into the room, waving his hand to lock the door.

“I should scold you.” Crowley replied, “You could have been hurt. He’s a bad demon.”

“We know, thas why he was being mean!” Ceres told him, “No mean to Dada.”

“No.” Corin agreed, “We protect Dada.”

“Yeah, you sure did.” Crowley grinned, “Hop up, I haven’t had any of those healing cuddles today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We gamers do not talk about Peter Molyneux 🤣🤣


	34. Chapter 34

Aziraphale stared hard at Hastur as he returned.

“Quick smoke?”

“Oh, you’ve smoked before, I take it?”

“I have been on earth 6000 plus years. How did your shirt get torn?”

Hastur glanced down a little sheepishly, “Some bloody plant.”

“No flies on him, see?!” Gabriel caught both their attention, in full flow at Beelzebub, obviously having ignored Hastur’s return.

“Izzz that a zzlight?” Beelzebub buzzed angrily, “May I remind you, Gabriel, I anzzwered YOUR begging call.”

“What did I miss?” Grumbled the demon.

“Apparently, we are ‘going in’." Aziraphale supplied.

“Good.” Hastur drew a crowbar from nowhere. Aziraphale eyed it, “I don’t think you’ll need that.” He said testily.

The demon shook his weapon and it burst into purple flames. The angel eyed it. It was still nothing compared to a flaming sword, but…

“I suppose you can bring it along. Just put it away before you damage the ceiling.”

*

They had to wait until dark, because as Aziraphale surmised, it would be easier to do this with fewer humans about. He also had to wait for his most faithful babysitter, given Crowley was in no fit state to look after the 3 children or even himself.

They landed unceremoniously in the garden with a flurry of feathers, “Sorry Daddy. Don’t tell Dad I misjudged.”

“I won’t breathe a word, Ari dear.” Aziraphale beamed as he reached a hand down to help them out. The others looked on in mixed disgust or irritation that this was taking so long, but Ariel’s arrival having flown here after work meant that at least darkness was falling.

“Freddie! Cori! Ceri!” Ariel called as they made their way upstairs.

“Can we go NOW?” Gabriel grumbled.

“It izz not dark yet.” Beelzebub told him.

“In which case, try not to break anything while I wish them all goodnight.” Aziraphale replied, “It should be dark soon.”

He could hear the children chattering happily in Freddie’s room (It was the largest of the 3 smaller bedrooms, and the little bay window afforded an excellent view over the garden for muses in need of inspiration, so was always the hub of activity when visits occurred) and made for Crowley first.

“Are you alright dear? Did Hastur come up here?”

“’E did yeah.” Crowley replied, “Wanted a good gloat. Was that Ariel?”

“Oh dear…” The Angel sighed, “Yes, It’s Ariel. Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Kids took out the trash.”

“They..?!”

“I’ll never tell Ceres off for kicking demons.” He snorted.

“Oh…” Aziraphale kissed his forehead, “I have to go in a minute…”

“Why do you have to go? Did you tell them what to do?”

“I did. They seem to think I’ll be able to help!”

“Nice to be needed.”

“My dear…”

“Getting in is easy. Just got to-” Crowley made some complicated hand movements, “-You’ll know when you get it right.” He patted his husband’s cheek, “Sorting out my mess again.”

“I think we’re both well practiced in that.” Aziraphale held his hands, “Take care dear.”

“I’m only pregnant.”

“You have hyperemesis and you haven’t the body weight to sustain yourself.” The angel insisted.

Crowley waved his fingers, “Go and be amazing. We’ll be fine.”

Aziraphale kissed his hand before he left. Crossing the landing he made sure to say goodnight to each child in turn. Only Freddie had an inkling that what he was doing might be dangerous; Even Ariel had adopted a very laid-back view (Not that they really knew what he was about to do), so he was sure to take the boy to one side and murmur, “Distract yourself, dear. I’ll be home soon.”

Freddie hugged him tight.

As he came back downstairs, only Beelzebub was left in the hallway. Aziraphale blinked, “Was there something...?”

“Zzz... your child. They have tranzzended.”

“Yes.”

“And their aura is not like yourzz or Crowleyzz.”

“No.”

“Interezzting.”

Aziraphale shuffled his feet before remembering something, “Beelzebub?”

“What?”

“What are the… I mean you’re up there so…”

“Zzzpit it out.”

“What’s the... the mortality like? The success rate? Of offspring produced by demons?”

The prince raised their head for the first time this conversation, “Crowley izz not thriving?”

“There’s been no warning signs yet… but he’s been so unwell.”

"Hizz corporation izz probably confused as to what it izz making.”

“But…”

“Not many Zznakes give birth to wrigglerzz.” The prince pushed themselves off the wall, satisfied with their explanation even if Aziraphale wasn’t, “It iz dark. Time to go.”

*

Aziraphale gazed at the logo on the door as they strode in.

“It would be a Snake.” He murmured, “How did we not realise sooner?”

“Plenty of snakes in the world, not just the one you fancy.” Gabriel snorted.

The angel sighed, before moving on ahead. The security guard was asleep now, the CCTV miraculously showing nothing, and they were on the way up to the server room, which of course was exactly where they had expected it to be. *

Hastur ditched his crowbar back into the ether, disgruntled that they weren’t going to smash anything.

Aziraphale gazed around him at the buzzing banks of equipment, never having seen anything quite like it, even in his time on Earth. The others didn’t share his childlike amazement.

“Get on with it then.” Gabriel grumbled, staring at him incredulously.

“With...?” Aziraphale glanced at the other 3 beings, “Ah, I see.”

Gabriel may have rolled his eyes.

“We’ll have to find a way in…” The angel murmured, looking around him for any clue where to start for easy access. He wasn’t sure about this, at all – and there were so many servers!

Hastur grunted, “That one.” He moved ahead to a particular bank.

“You’re sure?” Aziraphale asked tentatively, peering into the neatly ordered mass of lights and cables.

“Smells like home.” The demon smiled grimly, “Back when it was home.”

“Alright, so how do you want-Oh!” The angel squeaked when Hastur grabbed his arm, and the world dissolved around him. It became uncomfortably like being flung through space, and his wings broke free attempting to right himself in a panic.

Hastur kicked him, “Quit squirming.”

“You seem rather-ah-familiar with this.”

“You don’t.” The demon growled.

“No, I can’t say I am.”

“Just head for the centre.”

*

“I’ve brought your tea, Dad.” Ariel called gently as they placed the mug on the side table, “Smells disgusting.”

“Thanks, don’t think I could work that out.” The demon grumbled. Ariel pulled a face, “I won’t wake you next time then.” They replied lightly, and turned to leave.

“Ari…”

They turned slowly.

“Din’t mean it… sorry. It is disgusting.”

The muse seated themself on the edge of the bed, “I wonder if you can blend these with fruit?”

“Mmf?”

“Daddy said you could use a little something to eat.”

Crowley’s stomach growled. He held it and sighed, “You’re telling me.” He glanced down, “I’m starving. An’ full of air.” He pressed at his middle, “See? No give.”

Ariel paused for a minute, pursing their lips, “You know Dad... You are over 3 months now…” they paused, hoping their point would land. When it didn't they shifted, "Maybe it’s not air.” They reached out, “May I?”

“Go ahead.”

The redhead pressed gently. Their hand travelled from just below his belly button to above it, with the same pressure. They tilted their head, “It’s very low down to be wind..." Another pause. Another completely clueless moment for the demon.

Ariel took a breath and announced, "I think it’s baby.”

Crowley inhaled sharply. The muse glanced up, “Are you okay, Dad?”

“Yeah. Urg. Ngk. Lucifer's shit scented wings!"

"Dad?"

"Y’father." The demon managed, "He should have been here to hear that.”

“I’ll send him up if he gets home before I go to bed." Ariel promised, "It’ll be so nice for him to come home to.” they beamed.

"Eh..."

"You must be doing better than you thought, Dad."

*

Aziraphale landed surprisingly upright in a place that was so silent his eardrums were threatening him. He paused before opening his eyes. Hastur was a short distance away, brushing his coat down in the darkness. The sound, any sound, was comforting. As he stood, the whole place became lights and buzzing in a wave, and it took him a few moments to calm himself from the sudden onslaught.

He was surprised to find some of these lights were imparting knowledge. He was able to understand them. A low hissing was humming at the back of his head.

“Can smell it.” Hastur growled, “It’s somewhere here.”

“I suppose we should stay close, as I can’t smell it…” Aziraphale suddenly focussed on one flittering nugget of information that was heading right for him. It was hissing.

“Crowley?” He frowned. Of course, it wasn’t Crowley. But it carried that little demonic spark, from that initial program.

“Hello there.” He smiled. It glimmered at him.

“Of course, it fucking responds to you.” Hastur snarled, “C’mere you little fucker.”

“Wait.” Aziraphale said, “Maybe we can neutralise it?”

“Just get rid of it.” Hastur snapped, “Then we can get out of here.”

Aziraphale wrapped his hands around the spark of information, “Now see here, you’re causing us a lot of trouble, do you think you could be a little less Celestial?”

“Lucifer below…” Hastur turned his back on him.

“Maybe… just regular fire? But just looking like hellfire?” He touched the spark. It zizzed at him with a shock, a vision appearing in his mind of a flaming sword.

“No, that’s too far.” He gasped, “Somewhere in the middle.”

It took a few minutes, but the light eventually left his hands.

“Hastur?” Aziraphale called, “Try it now.”

“Urg.” The demon replied, “Least you got rid of the snake smell.”

“But?”

“S’fine. Very human.”

“Go on then.” He told it, “Do what – whatever you have to do.”

The other information bits continued to flutter about them, flecks of light swirling like a flock of birds. The one they were interested in rose, shedding sparks which moved in a strangely direct fashion away from itself. It was surprisingly few, but as some of the sparks hit other bits, they too began to spark. Soon the endless 'sky' was full of light, and Aziraphale felt quite overcome by it. In the midst of that numbing, gnawing silence, the noise of tiny zaps and the flashes of thousands upon millions of tiny lights was too much. He crouched down and covered his ears, wishing more than anything not to be here. Hastur shook his shoulder, but he curled up tighter at the assault.

“C’mon dimwit I ain’t carrying you out.” Hastur snapped.

*

“Zzyou look rough.” Beelzebub remarked, “You zzhould zztop getting roughed up.”

“I do not keep getting ‘roughed up’.” Gabriel snapped, “How’s life under servitude?”

Beelzebub paused for a moment before replying, “Confuzzing. Even now.”

“And how is… he?”

“He… is a zztorm. And he’s in charge.”

“Knew it wouldn’t be as simple as they made out.”

Beelzebub buzzed to themselves, “The child is az entertained by a rainbow az by the rain.”

“Do you regret accepting?”

“It wazzz duty. It wazz interesting. He izz ztill, interesting. You, without limits. He izz chaos and calm.”

Hastur appeared with a crackle of ozone before Gabriel could object. The archangel turned suddenly to face the duke, “Where’s Aziraphale?” He demanded.

“Gone. Sorted it and gone.” Hastur snapped.

“It izz dealt with?”

“Done.” The demon duke replied.

“Then it izz time to leave.” Beelzebub replied. As they left the room, the prince fell into step with the former Archangel.

“What will you do?”

Gabriel huffed, “Do human things. Survive. Not going back.”

“No… I don’t zzuppose you would.”

There was a crash, and a snarl. The two turned. Hastur had hit a water cooler, and was frustrated with the plastic not immediately shattering to his crowbar.

“Zzztop being ridiculouzz.” Beelzebub snapped.

Once they were out, the prince turned to the archangel, “You will be zzafe from here?”

“As ‘zzafe’ as a human.” Gabriel turned, “So long.”

“Idiot.”

“Oh.” Gabriel turned briefly, “Thanks for the help.”

Beelzebub was shocked into stillness until Hastur was distracted by the bins. They sighed, “Get over here! It izz time to go…”

*

“Angel, Angel…” Crowley was the only thing Aziraphale could hear. He didn’t know how he had got home; he was dizzy, faint and still felt like he was covered with sparks. There were hands shaking him, too much feedback to his already overstimulated senses – but the creeping emptiness and crowding of minuscule sounds was gone. He reached out for the familiar figure in front of him, and held on to his partner tightly.

“You’re safe, Daddy.” Ariel was telling him from the side, “You need to let go though, you’re pinching dad.”

“Ah!" Aziraphale exclaimed as the words filtered slowly through to somewhere he could make sense of them, "S-Sorry, I’m sorry, it-it was too much, we did it and it was all t-too much…”

“Ah…” Ariel left briefly, and returned with a soft towel, which she threw gently over the angel’s head to block some of the light out, “Step left, Daddy, this way, that’s it. Gently now, Dad’s got you but he’s poorly and I don’t want him to fall…”

“Crowley…” Aziraphale muttered, “Crowley the noise.”

The demon swallowed, “I know, I know, I’m sorry – Come on Angel. To bed. I can actually look after you there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Call it lazy writing if you like but you can't tell me it's not in character if at least one of these doofuses remembers they can just expect things to be where they want them XD


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its the authors turn to go batshit now 😁

“Do you remember the time we were locked in that wine cellar?” Crowley asked out of the blue, once they had been settled for some time, and Ariel had left them to it.

“Rome? Paris?” Aziraphale managed in barely a whisper.

“I was thinking of Boston.”

The angel turned his head, peering at his husband. His mouth was still drawn tight in anxiety as he replied, “I'm not sure that was me, dear. We were trapped in a Dean's office in Arkham once?”

“Arkham! Of course. The crate of moonshine!”

“Is… Is that what you were doing? I seem to recall mostly… reading while we waited to discover which of us should be smiting false gods…”

Crowley inwardly smirked, but outwardly sniffed, “I definitely remember the moonshine, and the portrait.”

“That gaunt man in the hideous pullover?”

“I liked that jumper.” The demon chuckled.

“... Are you delirious again?” Aziraphale worried.

“Are you feeling better?” was his reply.

“I… A little.” The angel lay his head on Crowley’s shoulder, gazing up at him, “I see, distracting me… What brought that to mind?”

“Proust, actually.”

“What has my anniversary present got to do with terrible jumpers?”

“You quoted something from him earlier. And it’s on my mind, ‘Remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they were at the time.’ - Used it to win whatever argument we were having.”

“‘At the time’ isn’t part of the quote, my dear. And - Something about togas I think.”

“Anyway, my point-” The demon smiled, “Is since we've become parents, I see it a lot more. We look back fondly on their growing up, while dealing with the shenanigans of the newest ones.”

“But that’s just time, not philosophy, my… daft old snake.” The angel was finally smiling, “I still don't see your point though.”

“Don’t really have one. Other than we need more moonshine… at some point some months from now.” Crowley shifted, making to sit up a little before groaning and giving up, “Does Harriet knit?”

“You are not having that awful jumper.”

“C’mon Angel I let you wear your abominations.”

“My-!! Crowley my dear I’ve told you many a time…” The angel sighed, “You’re taunting me.”

“Distracting.” Crowley chuckled, playing with his husband’s hair.

“How did I get back?” The angel asked.

“I think you called me from inside the system.” Crowley snorted, “Phone rang, I hit answer and, well, you practically fell out of the line.”

“I… fell out of the line?”

“It’s not an exact science.” Crowley chuckled, “Perhaps you came over with the update that damn app is doing.”

Aziraphale peered up at him, “Me, a freebie.”

“First time for everything, including you being a cheap date.” Crowley snorted.

“Really I-”

“-Have no comeback for that one.” Crowley snorted, “Oh, and now you’re back with me, I want you to feel something.”

The angel raised an eyebrow worriedly.

“Hand. Here.” The demon guided him.

“I…”

The hand pressed, gently but firmly. Aziraphale frowned at him, not sure what he was meant to be feeling.

“No give, Angel.” The demon prompted.

“Oh…” Aziraphale’s eyes had dropped, and Crowley knew he was sensing the life down there.

“S’real, Angel.” He murmured, “Really, really real.”

“Crowley…” Aziraphale glanced up at him, stretching to kiss his jaw, “You’re astounding.”

“Pfft.”

There was something worried to Aziraphale’s face now though, “Beelzebub was concerned, earlier. When I asked them about – what we talked about. And I don’t know how to take their concern. What plan do they have up there for our child?”

“Angel, they’ll have to pry thisss kid from my cold, dead handss.” Crowley hissed, fear prickling at his skin.

“I rather hope it doesn’t come to that.” The angel replied, “But they also suggested maybe you were so poorly because your body didn’t know quite what it was making?”

Crowley frowned, “The heaven does that mean?”

“Well… you have your… Snake self.”

“Wait what, they think I’m going to-? L-like, have a snake? Or-” The demon began to tremble, “Snakes - Plural?!”

“Dear I don’t think-”

“Ssssnakes have clutchesssss, Angel!” It was Crowley’s turn to panic.

“Oh, I’m sure – I mean you copied me? Why would we have--?”

“Angel…” Crowley whined.

Aziraphale moved slowly, turning over in bed to rest his ear on his husband’s lower stomach.

“What on earth are you doing?” The demon complained.

“Just – seeing if I could hear anything.” Aziraphale shrugged apologetically. He glanced over at a small device sitting in the corner, miraculously only awake when they wanted it. He stood and moved to the machine, leaning over it conspiratorially, “Excuse me Miss Alexa…”

“Not like that, just Alexa.” Crowley called in exasperation. The speaker beeped in reply.

“What is the average birth clutch of a python?” The angel asked.

“Please rephrase your question.”

“Dratted machine. I'm sure to have the answer in a book somewhere.” Aziraphale snorted, turning on his heel and clicking Alexa somewhere appropriate for her behaviour.

“Angel!” Crowley snapped.

“What?” The angel frowned. Then he brightened a moment, “Oh!” He scooped his husband up and carried him downstairs. Crowley grumbled, “Angel…”

“You’ll get bedsores if you don’t move.” Aziraphale told him, his anxiety swept away by curiosity now. He found the book quickly, Crowley thought as he lounged in the window seat, but then again Aziraphale seemed as bothered as he was by the prospect of what he was carrying.

“It’s not as though I’d think any less of snakelets.” The demon managed.

“Of course not, dear, and I would equally love our children no matter what form they took.”

Crowley felt the knot in his chest unravel a little in relief. Of course his Angel would extend that love to their children no matter what. It would take adjustment though…

“Er…” Aziraphale managed, his face going pale, “Dear..?”

“What?”

“Would you say you’re closer to a Ball python or a Burmese?”

“M’a Demon, Aziraphale, not a snake - snake.”

Crowley paused. No answer from the angel was forthcoming, “What difference does it make?”

“Er… about a hundred?”

“A…”

“I mean that’s the record for a Burmese, 107, Ball pythons are average 7 to 10, Burmese average 36, but I just…”

Crowley had buried his head in his hands, “Aziraphale, I can’t – I can’t – not that many – It’s not – It’s completely unreasonable!” His speech descended into syllables. Aziraphale left his desk immediately, wrapping his strong arms around his husband, “Dear, I’m sure – I’m sure you know better than to have that many.”

“I know better?! We had probably God herself interfere in our conception Angel, only she knows how many she gave us!” The demon yelped. Aziraphale shushed him urgently, not wanting Ariel or the others to wake up, then scooped him up and carried him to the living room, where he could lie him down carefully on the sofa, “Dear… I’m sure it’s not going to be that many.”

“You can’t promise that, Angel… You don’t know!”

Aziraphale gazed at his husband for a moment. Then he frowned, “I don’t… but maybe I can find out?”

“You can..?!” Crowley gazed at him quizzically.

“Let me try this.” The angel said, kneeling before his demon, “I used to be able to sense life and love, and now I’m – external – I might be able to discern things. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. I suppose because I struggled to sense the children when I was growing them, I forgot what I can do. It was just senses and feelings within my corporation before. But I might be able to make more sense of it now-”

“Just try already.” Crowley interrupted, “Can't stand thinking about this any longer!”

Aziraphale laid his head back on his husband’s middle, this time face down, breathing evenly. Crowley’s hands held his head, allowing him a little metaphysical push against his inner spaces and trying not to think of the last time Aziraphale had had his face down there in the demon’s nether regions.

Aziraphale smiled, “Oh. Oh, hello there.” He chuckled, “You're happy, aren't you?”

“Angel...” the demon whined. Bad enough to be kept waiting but not to be able to do this for himself?!

“Patience, dear...” the angel replied, “Having a little trouble working out where one ends and another begins, they’re still tiny, especially given you can’t feed them as well right now.”

“Them?! Shit!” Crowley hissed, “Sssshit ssshit ssshit Angel, how many?!”

“Hello...” Aziraphale was murmuring, “Oh, you're shy. Don't worry, just passing through-”

“ANGEL!”

Aziraphale withdrew, cocking his head at the demon crossly from between his knees, “Are you done shouting?”

“HOW. MANY?!”

A light switch seemed to go on in the angel’s head, “Oh! Er, two, Crowley! Nothing to worry about. Just two, no matter what they look like.”

Crowley was still breathing hard, “Plenty to worry about! I've seen what twins do to you!”

The angel gazed at him blankly, “What they…Why they make me happy, my dear.”

Crowley barely heard him, “No, no...” he moaned, “Not again, how, what, it’s her isn’t it? She intended this to happen.”

“Please don't fret dear.” Aziraphale soothed, “You'll be a wonderful-”

“Brood mare?!”

Aziraphale sighed, “Dear, remember how many I've had before throwing those words around.”

Crowley was quiet. Aziraphale breathed, “Crowley. If this - if this is too much for you-”

“No!” The demon snapped, “You did it twice, I can't let you do it again.” He glanced down at himself a moment and took a deep breath, “My gift. Make up the 9. 8 and 9 y’see. 9 muses. Then we’re done.”

“But you suspect her of..?”

“Suspect?! Angel, I built these organs based on the feel of yours when I was in there, I did not expect to conceive on our first attempt but I did, and you've just looked and seen two, which happens to make up the exact amount you've been hankering for. Is it or is it not a huge number of coincidences?”

“It is bordering on answered prayers a little…”

“You prayed?”

“For an end to it for a while. And it was less prayer so much as a casual conversation with myself. On the forest trail? I was quite alone…”

“Since when have we EVER been alone!! Grrr! Omnipresence Angel, it’s what she bloody does, probably even now!”

“Oh but, my dear.” Aziraphale was fast on the way to beaming regardless, “Twins, we’re going to have twins again!”

Crowley swallowed weakly, “Angel?”

“Yes dear?”

“Help me to the toilet? I have to puke.”

*

Beelzebub was wandering a long room, grey and purple and full of plants and windows.

“How is everybody?”

They didn’t jump. They had a keen sense of where their son was when they were close enough, enough that they knew they’d find him here.

Right, well. Time for the talk then.

“I do not like you zzometimes, zzon.”

“I know.” Lucien said, “I'm not made to be liked, I'm made from vinegar and ordered assault.”

“Itzz not that. Itzz when you fall into line with her plans.”

“It’s not only her plan, Bee. It’s both of them.” The young man wasn’t looking at them.

“Luzzien. You told me Crowleyzz izzue will live. That they are important. But he izz zick, and the angel cannot heal it. Izz zhe ztill punizhing him? Are you punizhing him?”

“Crowley’s poorly?” Lucien blinked, “I should go and see if I can help.”

Beelzebub gazed at the boy, unsure. Sometimes he was still the child they raised somehow with a heart and conscience (how they did that they’d never know) and sometimes he seemed completely alien, the power of a god washing over his self entirely.

“When the lock izzz over, when you are of age and have no need of my guidenzzze, I would like to return.”

Lucien frowned at him, “Bee?”

“Zomebody hazz to watch over your father. And remind you where you are from.”

“I know where I’m from!” The young man snapped.

The prince turned to him slowly, “You need to remember that.”

“I could say no.” Lucien said, after a moments’ pause.

“You could. But what would be the uzze in that?”

Lucien was quiet for a few moments. Beelzebub fought the need to reach out for him. Then the young man looked up with something like desperation in his purple eyes.

“Would you… visit? Or could I?”

“That izzz up to you. You’re the bozz, zon.”

“I guess.” Lucien swung his legs. Then he frowned, “You care about Crowley?”

“He helped with you. He did not have to.”

“You care about him though. Not just thankful.”

Beelzebub sighed.

“Did you know him before the fall?”

“We were all colleaguezz, Lu. Hanging Zztars izz hard work requiring many handzzz.”

The boy smiled, “Is that why you called me Starr?”

“You are puzzhing too hard now, zzon.”

“I’m your son. That’s what I do.” He beamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to get the 'unreasonable number of offspring' comment in there somewhere, many thanks to annabagnell for the fun that is 'pop the clutch' because that phrase has stayed with me a long time 🤣


	36. Chapter 36

For the next fortnight, Crowley monitored the FoziWaka situation. A lot of people had noticed the change, and taken to the internet. Some people were okay with it. Some people liked the blue colouration option. A lot of people were incredibly amused by the filter that made reptiles appear atop your head. A small amount of people were annoyed with it, and had tried to roll back the feature, only to find they couldn’t find the code for the previous option.

The company even investigated, and found that going back to Alpha versions, the code was the same. There was no hellfire like the community remembered, and nobody had a copy of the acquired files anymore.

Crowley breathed a sigh of relief.

Aziraphale had divided his time since the incident between the children and Crowley, but he was so very concerned for his husbands morning sickness he found himself relying on Freddie to watch his siblings far more than he probably should. He got Anathema in to mix things or suggest options to keep him comfortable, but the demon could barely keep anything down regardless. Small amounts of fruit, sometimes a few pieces of chicken, occasionally a biscuit. Aziraphale nursed him when he couldn't get out of bed, although nurse probably wasn’t the word the demon would use for it given how fretful the Angel was.

Freddie occasionally read him stories in the evening and sometimes all 3 children would put on a little musical display for him.

Crowley appreciated it all, but was often unable to do anything too strenuous.

One day he made to put his jeans on, on a day he felt alright to be sitting on top of the bed, and found himself struggling with the waist, lying back across the bed as if that would help his struggles, but ultimately unable to fasten it. Eventually he folded the waistband down to just below the little curve of his middle. Out of breath, he sat up gingerly once more, huffing down at himself. That was when he realised, he was already over a third of the way gone, and hadn't really had chance to enjoy any of it. He stood, moving to the dress mirror in the corner of the room and holding his waist gingerly. He felt a prickle of embarrassment run down his spine for how he looked, ridiculously thin limbed and bony for the lack of food except for the bump.

It took Aziraphale an awfully long time to form the very simple words “What are you doing?” into a coherent sentence when he entered the room a few minutes later. Crowley was wiggling his hips in front of the mirror, turning and twisting in a manner most unbecoming.

“I think these jeans have shrunk” the demon replied defensively, “Maybe one of the kids has cursed them.”

“Oh, that! No dear, your clothes are immaculate, as always. That's just the little ones.” Aziraphale would be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed, “These things don't just poof into existence you know, you saw me enough times. One moment you’re minding your own business and the next you have to unbutton your waistcoat to reach your shoes.”

“Even for twins, it hasn't been nearly long enough… It’s what, 4 months? And I can barely eat…” he patted higher up, where his ribs were far more visible than he liked.

“Oh, my dear.” The angel crossed the room to hold him, “I'm rather afraid it’s less noticeable on myself. A little more padded than you' he ran his palms over Crowley’s hips, resting them on the jutting wings of his pelvis. The demon whined, “Now what am I going to wear, these were my favourite jeans.”

“You could always…” Aziraphale began, only to be presented with a warning finger, “If the words track suit is involved you know exactly what you can do with that sentence, don't you, Angel?”

“I would not be seen out with you in a tracksuit.” the angel grinned cheekily, “Other than a miracle, I was going to use the word kilt.”

“Kilt, kilt? Me in a kilt? After Banockburn?!”

Aziraphale just beamed at him.

“Damnit angel, you made it look so easy.” He sighed eventually, an arm crossing his front as if that could hide anything.

“Sorry dear. Angelic grace and all that.” Aziraphale gazed at his husbands back as he turned back to the mirror, a little concerned at his hiding himself.

“Yeah, well.” The demon had already decided against pinching one of the angel’s shirts, instead picking a skinny t-shirt so he could at least be sure he knew why the nausea was there. It tried to roll up until he willed it longer in frustration.

“Can you manage breakfast?” Aziraphale worried at him, cuddling him from behind again.

“Could eat a horse...” he replied, holding his husband’s hands over the mini bump, “Though not sure I could keep it all down.”

“I'll make you some toast for starters then.” The Angel beamed, “And I'll get some more ginger biscuits when I pick up the children, so please don't worry about finishing the packet.”

Crowley sat back on the bed for a rest, watching him leave before eyeing the quarter packet of biscuits. He was sick of them (and often when he was on them) but today he had a need. Sugar and delicate warming flavours. He leapt on the packet with abandon.

Aziraphale didn’t take long to return. When he did Crowley had shuffled gender again.

“Should you be using so much energy, dear?” He questioned.

“S’not that much, I’m in practise.” The demon assured him, “What do you think of these?”

Aziraphale swapped the plate of toast for Crowley’s phone, “Oh. Well this is delightful. That panel at the front of the Jeans is so useful!”

“Don’t lay it on so thick, Angel.” She grinned, “Long t-shirts too. Shaped. Going to rock this.”

Aziraphale smiled. Then he paused, “Dear.”

“Mm?” Crowley managed through a nibble of toast.

“I know you're feeling terrible, but could I let the children in one of the afternoons, to see you properly?”

“They don't need to see me like this.”

“They need to see you though. Frederick is worried. Ceres was asking after you this morning. And Corin… I don’t seem to be able to remove the idea from him that he’s being replaced.”

“They’re fine. They’ll be fine. They’re good kids.”

“Dear, please listen to me. He hasn't been dancing or singing as much with the others lately. He’s not himself. He needs to see you.”

Crowley ran her eyes down her ribs, visible through her shirt at this angle, groaning, “Not like this, Angel.”

“You're quite right.” The angel sighed, “I’m going to prop you up and put some flannel underclothing on you. They can't see how sick you've been.”

“’Ziraphale...”

“I know dear.” Aziraphale kissed her forehead, “Balance is hard. Shower, then padding, then I’ll pick up the children.”

“I’m already dressed though!” The demon whined.

“Just the flannels then.” Her husband rolled his eyes, “You’ll need the padding when they throw themselves at you!”

*

“You seem to be doing better at any rate.” Anathema said during her weekly visit a little later.

“Mm.” Crowley replied, “Still an embarrassed, embarrasssssing messss though.”

“Crowley you’re pregnant, you’re allowed to have accidents and be horrified by your body and in your case get swayed by the power of your children…”

“Aziraphale told you?”

“Mmhm. Might be why you were so sick. And I had a supposition.”

The demon blinked at her, where she sat beside him on the bed, hand on the bump.

“Spit it out bookgirl.” He managed after a few moments quiet.

“You’re exuding joy.” She said.

“M’what?”

“I know. You’re a demon and yet you’re giving off joy. Usually you only manage to make palpable waves of joy when you’re being soppy over Aziraphale-”

“Ngk!” Crowley tried to twist away from the occultist, but she held him steady, “Hey I’m not done.”

“Don’t want to hear it.”

“Tough. At least if you hear it you can tell me if it’s true.” Anathema snorted, “I think they’re the reason. Either they’re producing it or you are because of them. And you’ve never really been the sort to recognise that you can safely have joy as an emotion. So it’s alien, suffocating, too much for you. Something you believe only Angels do. But you’re wrong, Crowley. You’re as capable of loving as Aziraphale is, and as capable of joy too, even if you don’t recognise how it feels.” 

“Erf…”

“Just accept it, you silly sod.” The occultist smiled, “You’re doing a good job. Else you’d feel nothing but distress.”

Crowley pulled a pillow over his face, colour rising to his cheeks.

“You’re doing really well, anyway.” Anathema smiled, “Can I make another suggestion?”

“Ngk, no, bugger off.” 

*

Aziraphale managed the balance as best he could. That meant letting the twins go to a friend’s house that afternoon so Freddie could have some time alone with his dads. The boy was growing up; He had the capability to ask questions neither wanted to answer in front of the younger ones.

So, it was Freddie who stood in front of the door for a couple of minutes before Aziraphale finally encouraged him enough to knock.

Crowley called him in. The boy peered around the door, worried by what he might see from his previous fleeting glimpses, before hurrying for the bed, “Dad, dad!”

Crowley was taken aback by the flying hug. Aziraphale saved him a moment later, “Not too tight, dear.”

The boy squeezed once more before he sat back, “Are you okay?”

“Will be.” Crowley managed, “Starting to stomach things easier now.”

“Good.” The boy smiled. He turned his attention to Crowley’s near non-existent waist, “You gotta behave for dad, he's doing his best.” Then he returned to Crowley’s shoulders, hugging gently. At his tears Aziraphale joined them.

*

Freddie kept quiet about seeing dad, at the promise that he'd try his best to get down and see them all at some point. It was a few days later though when, spurred on by glorious sunshine, Aziraphale swept up his husband and carried him downstairs to a new sun lounger, padded and with a large shade, from where they could both watch the three playing.

Aziraphale brought out a picnic and the children sat, Freddie with Crowley and the twins with Aziraphale. Ceres climbed across the picnic blanket at one point and ended up in his lap, much to Aziraphale’s distress. Corin sat tight, looking at the floor until Crowley tilted his head, “You coming over too?”

“S’naughty.”

“You’re my kid, you’re allowed.” The demon grinned. Corin looked unsure.

“Come on you.” Crowley offered his free arm. Aziraphale nudged his back gently, “Dear, you’ve missed your dad.”

“Mm.” The boy stood, pattering around the cloth until he could hop onto his dad’s other side. Crowley guided his little hand to the bump, “You’re going to be an amazing big brother.”

The boy patted his middle gently, but returned his attention to his dad’s shoulder, hugging him tight. Crowley stroked the boy’s curls, “These are getting long, aren’t they? You taking after me and your brother? Or just going for the full Rudolf Nureyev?”

“I like long hair.” Was the reply.

“Mm, well it suits you.” The demon nuzzled his son’s cheek, “You’re a great kid.”

He thought he felt the boy smile against his shirt.

It was all sickeningly nice, even if Crowley couldn't enjoy much of the food, just pick at it and drink his vile witches’ brew.

It was working though. Slowly, and surely. With every day he managed a little more, had a little more energy with the children, and though he still couldn’t eat much, he could vary it enough now that he was getting decent nutrients.

Soon it was July, and his fifth month. He had kept tabs as covertly as possible on the bump every morning, and was both fascinated and in some small measure, horrified by it. He was, after all, a demon. He was never meant to do these things. And as he waited for some confirmation that his passengers were going to be the same as their other children, his brain was running riot at night with the maybes and could be’s. Aziraphale of course made a fuss over his middle whenever it was brought up, and it embarrassed him a little, he supposed. He felt odd, almost shy, and was avoiding thinking about it.

“Dear…” Aziraphale tutted as he pulled Crowley’s trouser waistband up at the back one morning, “Tight as they are at the leg, you're not going to go around with them unbuttoned the whole time, are you? What about those lovely Jeans you showed me before?”

“Didn’t order yet. Thought I'd have more time to think about it.” The demon sulked.

“Well you haven't.” Aziraphale replied, “Dear, let me return the favour and take you clothes shopping.”

“Angel I don't want loose floaty tops and dresses.”

“How about black jeggings and shaped long tops?” Aziraphale suggested, “No? You could have a dress and leggings I suppose. And comfortable shoes, I can't state that highly enough.”

“Angel, you're fussing. I told you, no fussing.”

“I am not fussing; I am being conscientious. That's not the same thing. And-and I know how it must feel, so you have to at least listen to my suggestions before you dismiss them.”

“Pfft.” Crowley replied, “I’ll be outside, those bastard plants have had it easy enough this year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note to self : write a short story about them going clothes shopping.
> 
> There will be a chapter in Immortal Invisible about Anathemas' other idea in a few weeks.


	37. Chapter 37

An hour or so later it happened. Crowley had planted a row of Violas and was weeding, cursing his wrists and knees as he did, rather than the tummy that was almost entirely visible between his tiny t-shirt and booty shorts (You don’t weed in jeans, especially not your favourite ones)

Everything ached, between the extra weight and the ligament softening hormones.

“You'd best help your old dad with the gardening, you pair.” He grumbled, throwing his trowel aside to pull a weed by hand.

As he said this he focussed on a sensation. He'd had it before, and even then it was somehow familiar, but he'd never cottoned on what it was until he was on all fours with no doubt where the sensation originated.

“Shit!” He sat up, “That you pair in there?”

He paused only a moment before yanking off his gardening gloves and heading at speed for the house, “Angel! Angel!”

Aziraphale was in his study, lost in a book. He looked over his glasses at his husband when he burst into the room, filthy and holding his stomach in excitement, “I FELT THEM!”

“Oh, my dear!” The angel put his book down before standing, almost clapping excitedly, “I’m so pleased for you!” He hugged his husband happily.

“Yeah, mean at least we know for sure I'm not laying eggs!” The demon snorted.

“Dear, aside from the evidence when we visited that human hospital, if you copied me, what on earth made you think...?”

“Well I don't know, being a part time snake for the better part of 6000 years maybe, as a clue?”

“What a ludicrous thing to keep worrying about though!”

“Your kids have wings.”

“Our children, Crowley. You have wings too. Our children have all been amazing and not once required a vivarium. And – and it wouldn’t matter if they did!”

“Wouldn’t like to lay an egg if it was the size of our newborns though.” Crowley managed.

“Well, No, I can see why that would be a problem.”

“Least I know you'd love them even if they were snakes.”

“Silly serpent, I love you, don't I?” Aziraphale chuckled, “You’re being ridiculous anyhow, if you’re that much snake why aren’t you lying in a sunbeam?”

“S'Cloudy.” His husband sneered, not unkindly.

From then it was only a matter of days before Aziraphale, lying underneath his sprawled husband in bed one evening, found himself drawn to a sensation of tapping on him.

“Oh.” He managed immediately, glancing down to confirm where the bump was pressed against him.

“Oh, Crowley.” Tears formed in his eyes. The demon groggily awoke to find himself tightly embraced, the angel crying a torrent of tears as little flutters hammered on his skin.

“Angel?” He kissed the tear trails, “Angel, this isn’t…” He paused, a little giddy, “Oh I wish they wouldn’t bounce on my downstairs.”

“Bounce?” Aziraphale gazed up at his husband, frowning, “They’re still so small, Dear, is one of them strong?”

“If one is, they both are.” The demon told him, “Can’t tell which is which anyway. Just. Motion. Like a yo-yo.”

“Oh.” The angel gazed at him wide eyed, “Oh I hope they’re both not guardian strong!”

Crowley groaned at the prospect. It was true that in the space of a week he seemed to have gone from very occasional flutter to full on bouncy castle for a bladder. Maybe he was finally getting enough nutrients? He sank his face into his husband’s chest at the blush that bloomed at the idea he might actually be doing a good job.

*

By August, Crowley felt well enough that he had taken to taking the children out to show them the stars in the evening. They listened, and watched with him, although none of them seemed to have a real interest.

Aziraphale made sure to pay all the more attention to the lesson when the three slipped away to play.

One evening, Crowley was in full flow when they stopped, sat up in the grass, and their words stuttered as they scanned the sky.

“Dear?” Aziraphale glanced up at his partner, “Are you alright?”

“That.” Crowley managed, “Shouldn’t be there.”

Aziraphale huddled closer, following his partner’s long outstretched first finger, “It’s a star, dear.”

“A star in the wrong bloody place.”

“Lucien must be testing his limits.” The angel soothed, “Oh don't be mad at him dear, he's a boy spreading his wings…”

“Playing with reality like that could have wiped out lives, Angel. You don't play games with physics! It was terrible enough when Cassiopeia started giving off scented radiation!”

“But biology is fair game?” Aziraphale wasn’t perturbed by his partner’s sudden anger, nor the way the fight went out of them entirely at this and they began to chuckle. Given who these children probably were, the demon had every right to be confused and swayed emotionally. He stroked his partner's cheek gently as they began to laugh hysterically.

“Are you alright dear?”

“M’fine.” Crowley replied, “Just peachy! Just a flipping whole new star in the wrong place!” They huffed, and went back to their chuckling.

*

“Dear, I’m going to the shops after I drop the children off.” Aziraphale announced one morning, “I was going to get a little bottle of something as Harriet will be around later. Would you like anything?”

“M'hungry.” The demon replied.

“Oh, I'm so glad to hear that! What can I get you?”

“Pear.”

“Pears?”

“Mm.”

“Dear, you... hate pears.”

“Well I fancy them now.” Crowley growled. Aziraphale raised an eyebrow.

“Pears, Angel.” The demon whined.

“I'll get a few.” the angel left. The demon groaned, “Little bastards. Hate pears. What're ya doing wanting pears?! Ah!-” He held his breath, making sure that was definitely not Aziraphale he could hear on the stairs coming back up, and hissed crossly, “Don’t you dare kick me!”

He had a good idea by now that both these children were strong. And argumentative. And he could quite sympathise now exactly how much Aziraphale had suffered with Ceres and Alexas.

He flumped back onto the bed again, and flicked idly at his belly button.

At least he didn’t feel quite so embarrassed. That feeling had started to fade out the moment he realised he was doing a good job.

Another kick. He groaned, “Oh, you. Stop kicking them, they’re not going anywhere.”

*

“Considering you're such a bastard sometimes Angel, you know how to look after me.” Crowley said. He was lying down on the sofa, his head rested on Aziraphale’s tummy as the angel hummed gently at him and he watched tv.

“Well, I had a long time to learn what you like.” The Angel replied, taking a cut piece of pear from the plate resting on the arm of the sofa and feeding it indulgently to the demon, “And if I can't spoil you when you're doing your best growing our children, then when can I?”

He bent to kiss Crowley’s cheek, “Though I do admit Dear, fitting as much trouble into 1 pregnancy as I had with 5 is a very you thing to do.” He chuckled.

“Yeah well. Wasn't planning on doing it again, so gotta get my share in.”

“Wily serpent.” He rubbed gently at his shoulders. Crowley stretched happily, and edged up his husband’s lap, “Down a bit, kids are awake.”

“Oh, let them wait a moment.” Aziraphale looked him in the eye before kissing him tenderly.

“Bastard.” Crowley chuckled, “Such a cruel Daddy.”

“Well.” Aziraphale smiled, “I rather like to feel them too.” He slid the demon’s top up, prompting a happy hiss as his husband’s hands soothed him gently.

“Oh, they’re strong.” The demon moaned as he stretched.

“Maybe they’ll scare Harriet.” Aziraphale chuckled.

*

After a couple of drinks, Harriet was amazed by everything anew, “It’s so fascinating, you both being really completely... fluid in gender.”

Crowley raised his eyebrows with a chuckle, “We're individuals, Harriet. I have been flipping about since the dawn of time. Azira has been...”

“Tentative.” Aziraphale added helpfully, “I like this body, it's comfortable.”

“Do you think you have Autism or something?” She asked.

Aziraphale blinked, “I-I don't think that's possible. Why do you ask?”

“Kellie's ex was. She just noted how you er...” she mimed the fiddling with her hands, “And the way only that one edge of that waistcoat is worn, or how you can be so delightfully naive despite being so intelligent.”

Aziraphale paused, holding his drink tightly. Crowley patted his hand before he broke the stem, “It's not a bad thing Angel.”

“No, plenty of people are and are amazing.” Harriet added.

Aziraphale tilted his head, “I suppose Gabriel’s thoughts… that if we were all prototypes of a sort... it's possible the same neurodiversity may be true of us.”

“'I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wondered about where Ariel got it.” Crowley said, “It just always seemed so ridiculous that we didn’t all have it. Celestial beings are meant to be built to the same mindset.”

“But...?” Harriet asked.

“But we obviously weren't, or there wouldn't have been a war, a mass falling, a separation...” Crowley paused, caressing his middle, “And we wouldn't be here.” He chuckled, “There you go, they're fighting over here now.” He guided her hand and she chuckled, “Oh! They're feisty!”

“They're at war.” Crowley replied, amused by her grin as she explored the bump, “Maybe one makes really bad puns or something.”

Aziraphale smiled to himself, “Maybe…” he paused, “Why don't you bring Miss Kellie with you anymore?”

“She's working abroad – a year to ‘expand her horizons’ at work. We Zoom call most days. When we do get to see each other we... Well, we don't go out much.” The woman blushed and began to giggle.

“I quite understand, Tadfield’s not exactly the beating heart of arts and culture. Not until Freddie grows up anyway.” The angel smiled.

“Angel…” Crowley despaired, “No Angel, remember they're fully consenting adult lesbians.”

“Lesbians can do art, dear, don’t be so silly.”

Crowley began to laugh, “Partners, Angel…” He was interrupted a moment later by a kick, “Ow! Satan on earth you little bastards!”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale exclaimed.

“That’s quite inaccurate.” Harriet finished for him. Crowley pulled a face, twisting his mouth in irritation. He was quickly distracted by another kick, “Arg… nrfff.”

“That’s amazing.” Harriet said, “Have you told all the children?”

“Ours or the human ‘children’?” Aziraphale asked, reaching a hand to try and exert some calm over the warring clan.

“Oh ours, I'm sure all yours know.” She chuckled.

“Warlock did say he'd swing by sometime.” Crowley replied, “Dunno how I feel about him seeing this.”

“He thought you two ran away together anyway.” The woman snorted, “He expected Nanny Ash and Brother Francis to already have something small and wriggly to hide. Why else did they disappear without trace just before his birthday?”

“Nanny couldn’t have hidden anything for too long.” Crowley snorted, “Not in those dresses.” He paused, smiling softly, “Or with somebody’s hands all over her.”

Harriet blushed all over again.

*

Crowley paused later, when Harriet had gone home and the children were fetched, fed and put to bed. Aziraphale was cuddled up to her middle, humming to calm the little cage fighters down.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale worried, “Is it not working?”

“No, I-er-ngk – it’s fine – it’s not that – Its… well it's not a bad thing Angel.”

“The twins knocking you about?”

“No... if you were, y'know. On spectrum. Well. Whatever Angel Autism looks like or is.”

Aziraphale blinked, “I didn't say it was. Many highly intelligent people were likely Autistic.”

“Yes but, it was a shock to have to consider it, right?” The demon asked.

Aziraphale sighed, “Yes. I… hadn't thought about it before. Never really... needed to.”

“Angel. If the Lord was trying things out when she made us… She made us all exactly what she needed us to be. And in your case, when she made you work in a way that mirrors autistic humans, it was because it made you very good at your work. You were there to love and protect Adam and Eve, as I was there to tempt them to knowledge. You had the loyalty to remain unwavering at your post through time, protecting her children. You used your intelligence and dogged determination to learn about them, how they really were, that what heaven and hell wanted was wrong. You struggled to change, because you like things the same, stressless. But you worked hard and you did it with loyalty to our side. And then there's how good you are with a sword, how natural even after so long. And how they gave you really flimsy directions so you interpreted them wildly differently to how they thought you would. You’re Angel stock and they couldn’t predict you! You have a skill and you learned it perfectly. Though you sometimes lack foresight you are loyal to those you care about. To the point of nearly destroying yourself because of the intensity of your own love for Jennet. If you are what passes in humans for Autistic, Angel... It's only because it makes you good at who you are and what you were needed for in the ineffable plan.”

Aziraphale glanced up at her. His eyes were damp, “I think you should write speeches for Autism charities my dear. That was really most beautiful.” He sniffed, wiping at his eyes with his handkerchief.

“Nah.” Crowley chuckled, “Just a partner who's super glad of how good you are at calming the brood.”


	38. Chapter 38

September began, and with it the twins started school properly. Crowley, now nearly 6 months and feeling a whole lot more, wriggled behind the wheel of the Bentley as best he could with a grunt. Aziraphale bit his lip, “Oh dear, hadn’t I better-?”

“No.” Crowley replied crossly.

“Unless they start kicking.” Freddie piped up from the back. Crowley’s lip wobbled. Aziraphale thought for a moment the demon would burst into tears, but instead he put his seatbelt on and started the car, “Urg. These things aren’t designed for this.”

“They’re really not. And not designed for the female form in general either. Huge oversight. There was a rather large campaign about it some years ago." He paused, "But you have rather… outgrown the space.”

“Rubbish.” The demon pulled at his seatbelt again and turned the wheel experimentally, “It still moves, I’m good to drive.”

“If you say so.” chuckled the angel.

The twins both enjoyed school – Aziraphale surmised that on top of Freddie being a sensitive boy, that him being a singleton had lead to his being so concerned about starting. The twins, by comparison, already knew each other and gelled well together.

They already knew about the after school sessions and associated clubs. What they hadn’t expected was for their nearly 5 year olds to immediately make a beeline for them when the chance was offered.

Ceres had immediately made waves with her strength and eye for accuracy with several of the sports teams, and despite her penchant more for music and song, she came home with a list as long as her arm of sessions she wanted to attend.

With a great amount of argument, they whittled her down to 1. But she was good with her words, and managed to wrangle that she got the choice of which one.

“We’ve been utterly played by our baby.” Crowley told Aziraphale.

“Ice hockey.” The angel replied, totally dumbfounded, “My baby… but it’s so rough! And… she could get hurt, or hurt somebody!”

“We did promise.” Crowley replied, “Are we signing this permission slip or what?!”

Aziraphale visibly deflated, “I just… Ice hockey! For a 4 year old! How did the school ever get a pitch?!”

“Rink.” Crowley snorted, “I should blame Adam.”

Corin was far more predictable. His dance and motion skills were enough to call the upper school dance leader across the playground for. This was, for the Angel, far more palatable.

Crowley grinned, “Playing to his talents.” Before returning to rubbing at whoever’s foot was stuck against his side.

“Dear.” Aziraphale worried suddenly, “You know these classes are the same night, don’t you?”

“Ah shit.”

“So, we’ll have to split up to see them.”

“I’ll have to go incognito then.” The demon shrugged, “And hope nobody remembers you having that pair.”

“Mr. Trevelion might.”

“Don’t be daft Angel, he hates dance and sports, he’s mathematics through and through.”

“Let’s hope there’s no shows before you have the twins then.” Aziraphale huffed, “We certainly don’t need to be wasting miracles on damage control.”

*

They were in the garden in late September, enjoying up the last warm days before autumn really got cracking. The twin’s birthday had come and gone quietly enough; having it so soon after they started school meant at least they hadn’t had chance to get to know the other children well enough yet to have made a party worthwhile. Crowley had been pleased; he was more tired than he thought he’d ever been. Aziraphale had been disappointed, but happy he didn’t have to hide his husband away or deal with a crowd of children by himself while pretending to be the one expecting.

Crowley still had wobbly days, even now, so he was slumped comfortably in the lounger, Aziraphale at the garden table beside him. The children were laughing and singing around the tree Aziraphale once heard the lord under, so many years before.

Suddenly there was a cry from Freddie, and the boy pelted up the lawn towards something at the side of the house. Aziraphale tensed before going after him, Crowley wriggling back and forth until he could sit up.

Aziraphale had already re-appeared with Freddie, “Dear, Lucien is here!”

“Hellspawn!” Crowley called, “First things first, the hell are you doing playing with stars?!”

“Good afternoon Uncle.” The young man said, as though he hadn’t heard him, “Only a flying visit I’m afraid.” He ruffled Freddie’s hair, “I had to give you some information.”

“Are you finally going to tell us-?” Aziraphale began.

“Give me a minute Uncle Zira.” The lad grinned, “First off, Yeah, I decided what you'll be.”

“Oh, my goodness.” Aziraphale managed, “An answer, finally?”

“Now I'm just convinced we won't like it.” Crowley snorted.

“You will never be world destroyers.” Lucien told them, again ignoring Crowley’s comment, “Because you're world defenders. Humans need a few more years without our interference, we need time to sort ourselves out. And you two are both qualified to look after this world.”

Aziraphale squeezed Crowley’s hand protectively, “But... The children?”

“The changes you’ve been taking such careful notes on?” Lucien’s eyes flashed, “They’re a really cool way of harnessing Earth’s own energy to lock Earth away from us above. A seal, as it were.” He tilted his head, “The seals will be extra protective until those 2 have reached 25.” He indicated Crowley’s middle, “If she didn’t already tell you, you’re to rest up after these two, alright? No more, certainly not for a few years.”

“That’s the plan, thank fuck.” Crowley replied. Aziraphale tsked and covered Freddie’s ears briefly. The boy wriggled away, “Daddy stop!” He shrieked.

“That should be time enough then. Your muses can get to work, and your future task will begin then. I do not foresee an exodus of angels and demons coming here, but I… think some will come. You can still have your retirement for the most part.”

“And if we get discorporated?” Crowley asked, “We don’t exactly report to anybody.”

“You are your own side, but I cannot grant you your own powers.” Lucien said, “I’m not her, I’m more a… custodian.” He swayed on the balls of his feet and beamed at them, “But, I can guarantee your corporations, myself. Because I trust you both.”

“Thousands wouldn't.” Crowley snorted.

“That’s why there’s a hub, here. For you to commune with us.”

“And… The cradle of man?” Aziraphale questioned.

“That’s the sorting office.” Lucien replied with a chuckle, “For the souls. Because she’s nothing if not fond of her symbols.” One of his eyes twinkled of its own accord.

“Will there be another war, between New Eden and Earth?” Aziraphale managed. Crowley gazed at him with admiration for thinking of all these questions on the spot. He must have been playing and re-playing them for so long he was word perfect.

“I can’t foresee that.” The lad replied, “But if so… It won’t be a mere 25 years from now.” He chuckled brightly, “It’s so amazing. I wanted to tell you for so long but I had to wait. It was all dependant on the date you push out these 2.”

“What?” Crowley panicked.

“Oh, don’t worry, you have a few more weeks. They won’t be this early. This is just me giving it time to sink in. If you have any messages to send up, send them now. It’ll be a lot harder, though not impossible, by the time they arrive.” The lad beamed beatifically, “Now. You have my blessing, and I have to see Jennet before I go, so I’ll be off.”

“Lucien?” Aziraphale called after him. The boy paused in his jog around the building. For a moment he reminded the angel of his father, and he swallowed hard, “Thank you.”

Lucien winked, and disappeared around the corner in a flutter of grey-purple wings.

“Is that something we should thank him for?” Crowley bristled, holding his stomach protectively.

“Dear. We were made for a purpose… seemingly no matter what we do.” Aziraphale replied calmly, “I will be thankful we at least get to raise our children to the point where they can be who they choose to be. Our children will not be threatened until they can stand for themselves.”

Crowley flicked his tongue irritably.

“How come we don’t get a choice?!”

“We made a choice, Dear.” The angel gazed down at him on his lounger, “We stood with humans instead of Armageddon. So whatever Lucien has to sort out up there, it’s not our fight.”

“No, it’s purgatory!”

The angel chuckled, kneeling beside his husband and taking his hand again, “There are worse ways to spend eternity than with the ones you love, Dear.” He paused, “But if we are at the weakest point here, perhaps we had best insist the children spend their 25th here.”

“For them to receive what they choose.” Crowley nodded.

*

4 weeks into the school term, the twins were settled and happy. Freddie was also doing well having moved up to Junior school. Wednesday was the day all 3 had after school classes, and though Freddie’s was behind closed doors, because of the twin’s age their parents had been allowed to sit in with some of the other parents of the younger children.

Crowley proudly watched Corin move, and hoped she didn't look bored. At least the heads that turned when she turned up in pretty dresses and matching leggings that flattered her middle hadn't been around to realise her husband had been the one carrying their last pair. She made the change subtle, week by week, working through 80s short styles first as she worked towards having a full and glorious mane of hair.

At first she had wished she'd offered to take Ceres to sports instead; Aziraphale always loved the arts but he seemed to have taken to watching hockey with as much emotion as ballet now his daughter was involved. On at least one occasion he had been told to curb his enthusiasm when Ceres executed a particularly spectacular tackle for a small one.

Crowley swigged her water bottle, headed to the loo to sit in quiet for a few minutes, and checked her watch. 15 minutes to go before she had to round everybody up and – no, she reminded herself. The bump no longer fitted behind the wheel of the Bentley. She was mortified every time her Angel had to get behind the wheel of her beloved car.

At least the brats were quiet tonight. Aziraphale had done his share of healing bruises that bloomed on her skin, kidneys, anywhere, her muscle tone and organs just not quite as attuned as his to war, but the mere shock of the kicks was enough. If she had felt embarrassed, had almost wanted to turn back earlier in pregnancy, now she was fairly horrified by the changes to her body and the way the little monsters squirmed just so against all her essential organs. Her feet were getting puffy and painful, she was extremely clumsy, she couldn’t go 2 hours without needing to use the facilities. It was horrible. And yet…

She sighed. Aziraphale had been right to compare this to making stars. It was amazing. On a good day she could almost sense the molecules she managed to keep down surging through her corporation and into building the two little corporations inside her.

She exhaled slowly at what appeared to be a war of feet just under her diaphagm. Standing, she leaned on the wall of the cubicle and shook herself briskly from side to side, “Please Satan, let this distract you both.”

On her return, she saw Corin's little smile at her. He was worried for her. He had even said she could wait in the car if she felt ill and he wouldn't mind, but she couldn't bring herself to do that to her son, knowing his other dad and his brother would both be crowing about Ceres's match when they picked them up (As Freddie would already be finished, he’d have found them by now if he wanted to be here tonight).

She wanted the boy to have the same enthusiasm shown, so she grinned widely and gave him a thumbs up. Once the new babies arrived, she told herself, they’d do swaps, frequently. This was only for the rest of the time she was stretched out like this.

There was a wriggle somewhere low down. If they were head down that would probably be an Aziraphale shoulder wiggle, she told herself, pressing a hand there as hard as she dared, hopeful the child would feel the vibration at least, and know they were loved.

She nearly burst into laughter at that. A demon, making babies with an angel and loving them!

Oh dear, these hormones would have to go as soon as the babies had made their exit.

Now there was something she really wasn’t looking forward to.


	39. Chapter 39

Crowley was sure she had never been carried around so much as in the last 8 months. This evening, hips sore from those ridiculous plastic chairs, Aziraphale had lifted her gently and carried her upstairs. The demon nuzzled at his neck as he sat, cuddling him as he started to run the bath.

“Angel. Don’t go.”

“I wasn't planning on-”

“No. ‘Mean get in t'bath. With me.”

Aziraphale tilted his head, “I'm glad we chose a large bathtub.”

“And… Bubbles too.”

Aziraphale chuckled, “Bubbles too.” He grabbed for the lightly scented bottle, “There we go.” He pinned her hair up, “Ready?”

“Mm, as ever.”

“I’ll start with your feet then.” Aziraphale kissed her neck, “Come along.”

“Angel that’s the least romantic way to start a shared bubble bath.” Crowley complained.

“Dear, you got pregnant after as you put it ‘a tipsy fumble in the back of the car’. I don’t think you would be satisfied with romance.”

“Well, umph, yeah but-” A stream of noises were his reply.

*

Another week passed. Crowley stretched in front of the mirror. He felt slow. And sore. And thoroughly beaten up inside and out. At least he had gained back some of what he’d lost in body reserves in the early days, and looked less like a skeleton in a meat suit with a beachball up his shirt. He could almost feel pride in himself again now, and admired his work briefly, turning this way and that before his reflection, before clicking himself clean and dressed so he could concentrate on getting downstairs safely and into the comfy chair with the foot rest.

Aziraphale let his eyes rest on the demon’s middle as he slid a plate of toast and a coffee onto the side table, “Breakfast dear.”

“Mmmph. Thanks'ziraphale.” Crowley managed to shove a piece in his mouth without looking. Aziraphale dropped down to his knees to rest his head on the bump.

“What days it?”

“Tuesday.”

“Kids at school then.”

“Mmhm.”

Crowley put a hand in Aziraphale’s hair, gently massaging at his scalp as he lifted the hem of his top and planted little kisses on the skin there. A little, shy wave of embarrassment crossed the demon’s face, and he covered his eyes with a hand briefly before he managed to shrug it off, “Hey, less loving them, more loving me Angel, I'm doing all the hard work.” He snorted. Aziraphale giggled, “But it suits you... you’re beautiful. Look at you, not a single stretch mark.”

“Can you imagine Nanny with stretch marks?!” Crowley snorted incredulously, “That’s ridiculous, I wouldn’t be caught dead with…” He paused, “Not to say they’re bad or anything. Yours are such a thing of wonder.”

“Hm?”

“Your stretchmarks, you daft birdbrain.” Crowley chuckled, “Anyway, expecting suited you too, that's why we had so many.”

“I wonder if they'll be as good as the others.” Aziraphale remarked dreamily. Crowley stroked his face, “Hard to live up to Freddie, but I’m sure they’ll try.” The demon beamed proudly, “Our beautiful, kind and loving son. Better than the first attempt.” He grinned.

“Well Lex' s personality was all you, after all.” Aziraphale chuckled back, “Frederick has the patience of a saint.”

“He has to, putting up with the difference in our music tastes.”

“How strange that he was conceived after seeing his brother in a musical.” Aziraphale smiled, “He certainly knew he wanted to see life.”

“Probably to give Lex singing tips.” Crowley snorted.

“Lex doesn't sing terribly!” The Angel cried.

“No, but you can't say he got a main role like Judas for anything but his sarcasm and sass.”

“And talent.” Aziraphale added. Crowley snorted, “Yes, alright, talent. Our wonderful talented monster of a son.”

“He’s 25 next year…” Aziraphale murmured. Crowley stroked his cheek, “Let’s focus on these ones first, eh? Worry about Lex nearer the time.”

*

It was a little later, and Crowley had been out of Aziraphale's sight for all of 15 minutes. The children were home, and the Angel had washed, dried and put away all the lunchtime crockery, and explained to Corin the order of the cutlery drawer yet again. When he returned to the lounge his husband was gone.

The first clue was a strangely distorted voice from outside, the second was giggling.

The angel found Crowley, sat happily in the wheelbarrow, exposed belly up. Freddie and Ceres were pushing him around the garden while he bellowed at the plants through the tiny toy megaphone that the Angel still couldn't believe Newt once bought for Freddie.

“Dada?” Corin frowned at his siblings and their father as the wheelbarrow passed them, “Not better, plants.”

Aziraphale took a moment to unravel the logic. “Oh no Dear, your Daddy wants the plants to grow more uhm, pleasingly and without incident. He's not named all the plants ‘better’”

The child didn't seem convinced, even muttering 'silly' under his breath, “Should sing to them. An dance!”

“Well, why don’t you show them?” The angel suggested. Corin pondered this for a moment before nodding and running outside after them. Aziraphale paused in the doorway for a moment, watching the fun and filing it away in the happy place in his celestial brain.

Who knew how much longer they’d have?

There weren’t many warm days left, for starters…

*

Days wore on. Since the 8 month mark, Crowley had really begun to suffer with his swollen feet. The old scars on his soles were made far more tender by stretching them, and it hurt to walk a lot. He was frustrated, having been able to do so little for over 6 months now. He felt horrible, pained, a burden on his family, and it wasn’t helped when Aziraphale would have small episodes of being nervous to touch him too much. It was never a full on not-touching experience, but he would sometimes avoid the bump, especially now it was large enough it was causing his husband problems sleeping. The twins often responded to him too, and with Crowley already in pain it didn’t make the decision to touch or not to touch any easier.

Crowley wondered if part of the problem was because it reminded Aziraphale that he was outside of it this time. He couldn’t do this again. He had nearly destroyed himself and come perilously close to killing their precious children in the process. Any number of things that had hurt Aziraphale about his last birth.

They were still a mess, he knew. Still fumbling through things and trying to sort themselves out. They had never really had the time to sort it all out. Maybe there would be a silver lining to not being able to have more for a while, they had time to relax, and get to know one another again. To flush some behaviour. To sort themselves out properly. And this just made him pushier that his husband should make the most of this time. That he should touch his stomach, cuddle the twins, whatever it took to make it right this time.

He hadn’t been sure it was working until the night he woke needing to use the loo, at which point he became aware of the angel’s head on his chest, facing down his body as he murmured to them.

“You are in the safest place I know, and I can't wait to meet you...” He was saying, “None of us can wait. Your older siblings were so confused when I told them who was having you! I suppose I was just so used to this, I never thought how lovely it could be to be external to it. How it feels to touch you with my face... and get a kick for my trouble, thank you dear.” He chuckled, “How much longer, I wonder? Our dear children...”

He nosed gently at a limb that was pushing against the child's wall, “Calm down love. It shouldn't be too long. Just hang in there until it's time. Coming too early is bad for you.”

Crowley touched Aziraphale’s hair, massaging his scalp gently, “They're fine Angel. Settled in happily.”

At the angel’s blush as he turned to meet his eye, the demon smiled warmly, “You finally alright with this?”

“I didn't think I would be.” Aziraphale managed, “But having 7 children in a relatively short amount of time was so tiring. It is nice to be comfortable.”

Crowley cupped his cheek, “Yeah, yeah. Enjoy it while it lasts. Won't be too long till 3am feeds again. Best make the most of comfort while we can.”

Aziraphale smiled, and nodded. Crowley felt warm relief flood him. It would all be alright. All he had to do was get these 2 out in one piece each.

*

Another week. Crowley grumbled and drummed his fingers on his bump as he watched the kids. Aziraphale’s cooking wasn't as good as his, and he had to focus on recipes extremely hard. So it was that Crowley was babysitting 5 kids, well, more or less.

At least the 3 he had some semblance of control over were happily aggravating his headache with a bit of close harmony singing and playing a variety of biscuit tins and parts of the floor like a drum kit.

He grunted in shock at what may have been an attempt to somersault, “Don't you dare.” He pressed against his middle hard, “You flip over you'll never get head down again; I might be a snake but I don't stretch that far!”

He was kicked in the hand for his trouble.

“Yeah, fuck you too.” He muttered under his breath, “Urg this is a misery! How the hell did Angel do this with a smile on his damn face?!”

“Because he’s Daddy?” Freddie replied, a hand on the bump, “Hey, calm down Snakelets.”

Crowley snorted, “Freddie son, don’t even joke about that.”

“You’re a snake?”

“Sort of.”

“Then they’re Snakelets.” Freddie told him, “We’re all Snakelets!”

“Erf.” Crowley gave up, “How about you work on your Halloween costume with your siblings?”

“Okay!” The boy grinned. When the children had gone to fetch their things, he waddled unceremoniously into the kitchen.

“It’s not ready yet dear.” There was a pause. The angel turned to his husband at the lack of a reply, to find nobody there.

“Dear?” He worried, skittering around the table to check he hadn’t fainted. Instead he saw a leg disappearing under the table. He paused, and pulled out a chair to sit down.

“Dear?”

Crowley hissed, eyes flashing dangerously.

“Dear.” The angel repeated with a patient sigh, “Are you nesting or sulking?”

Crowley hissed again in reply and poked him in the ankle. Aziraphale pondered, “Am I going to have to feed you on the floor?”

More silence.

“Curling up under there really isn't good nesting. And eating down there isn't going to do any of you any good.”

There was a heavy sigh, and his husband’s head appeared in his lap.

“Whose idea was bloody gravity anyway?” The demon grumbled.

*

Aziraphale doubled down on the attention after that. His husband was not going to last too much longer, that much was fairly obvious. He was also fairly sure that the sudden change in his usual slinky gait had been caused by a downwards shift; the twins, or one of them anyway, was engaged and getting ready to go.

“What are you up to down there?” Crowley asked a couple of evenings later. Aziraphale lifted his eyebrows to peer up at him, from where he was slumped comfortably between the demon’s legs, head perched on the bump, “Just enjoying myself, dear. Making the most of it.”

“You've got them all worked up.” His husband complained, discomfort getting the better of him, “It's nice to feel them but they go full on rowdy when you spend too much time there.”

“Sorry dear.” Aziraphale replied, starting to move. Crowley swung a long leg across his back, “Don't you dare move. You can't give me that hurt look and then move as well, I'm having your kids, you don't get to upset me.”

Aziraphale’s mouth tilted in a smug smile, “Very well dear.” He resumed position.

“Just don't get used to it.” Crowley said at length, “I’m not soft, I'm all edges, angles. Not keeping your pillow when the brats leave. You’re the soft one, you’re my pillow.”

“I wouldn't have it any other way, dear.” Aziraphale chuckled, “Though as far as you being soft goes, there's currently enough of an 'angle' in my cheek.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow. Aziraphale shifted his head a little to reveal to little lump of a limb, “They have your angles at least.”

“Huh.” Crowley snorted, “Poor little buggers.”

An hour, a trip to the en-suite and an attempt at sleeping later, Crowley sighed at the brush of fingers over his midriff once again.

“Angel, this is nothing new. You've had bumps before. We even swapped places before while there's a bump. Much as I don’t mind 'm trying to rest.”

“Mmhmm.” Aziraphale replied, lost in tracing the babies’ movements with his fingers, “But they were still mine, even swapped. This is all you, my darling, all you with our children in waiting. Even the feeling of love is different. It’s spectacular.”

Crowley sighed, “Why are you such a beautiful bastard?”

“It’s a talent?” The angel giggled.

“Oh yes.” Crowley snorted, “Now I see where the children get it.”


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Aro awareness week to my fellow Aromantics 💕

The day before Halloween, Crowley rose from bed slowly, carefully. He nipped to the en-suite, then checked the angel was still asleep and pulled on a fluffy dressing gown. He hated stairs even usually - his hips never were masters of their stride, but right now he had to be extremely careful. He held onto his middle as he moved slowly, step by step. Unlocking the back door, he grabbed a chilled coffee from the fridge and moved outside, slumping heavily into the miraculously-dry-in-October grass beyond the planters that edged the patio.

“One of you has to be into this.” he murmured as he gazed skyward, “And I'll show you everything, when you're ready. Even if I have to wait a quarter century to do it.”

He was glad that at least the two were calm this morning.

“You'll be the last for a long time, so make the most of having each other.” He rubbed at a foot or an elbow or something that pressed sleepily into his ribs, “And get a shift on, will you? Can't be comfy in there.”

With that he undid the dressing gown a little, enough to expose his middle, “Up there is Alpha Centauri-” he pressed a thumb into his stomach, roughly where his star couple were in the hemisphere.

When he moved his hand there was a touch back. Delicate, but there. Like a child's hand on a window as they watched ducks. Over the last few weeks he had learned this trick, and he hoped some of this knowledge was at least understandable to one of them.

“Learning star positions has never been so easy.” he snorted, “Let's see. Now we're calibrated, let's look at Cassiopeia tonight. 5 stars in a W shape, at least when seen from Earth. I'll tell you about each one in turn, they're here.” he thumbed his middle again. This time he received a kick for his trouble.

“Oh, you would get in the way of their lesson, you little bastard.” he growled, “Don't tell me we've got another Lex!”

“Oh no, Dear.” Came the voice from the French doors, “One Lex is quite enough!”

“Did I wake you?” Crowley moaned as his husband peered around the edge of the planters.

“I missed you.” the angel admitted, “What are you doing out here?”

“Getting a lesson in before dawn.” Crowley replied, swigging his coffee. Aziraphale pulled a face, “You'll make them hyper and then complain to me they're squabbling for space.”

“I like coffee.”

“But not fighting.”

The demon chugged the last of his coffee

“-Spoil sport.”

“Oh no dear, our children are your spoilsports.” He chuckled, and sat in the grass beside him, “Tell me too.”

“You?”

“Mmhm. Teach me with them.”

“Heh.” Crowley opened Aziraphale’s dressing gown.

“Dear...” he blinked, “I meant it... literally?”

“I know.” Crowley grinned, “So where was I? Oh yes, Cassiopeia is here...” this time he pressed both of their middles in roughly the same place.

Aziraphale giggled, understanding, “You are such a clever demon. You make me feel so lucky to have your affection.”

“Angel, you want this lesson or not?”

“Yes please.”

“Then hush.” Crowley softened and chuckled, “Besides. You started it. Silly, soft Angel with your sword and your wing shelter.”

Aziraphale snuggled closer. Another kick to Crowley’s side signified that both twins were definitely awake now. The demon moaned, “Third time this week.”

“Poor love.” Aziraphale cooed, “Never mind.” He maneuvered his husband so he was on his back lying between his legs, “Just tell me. I’ll sooth them.”

*

Crowley was still grumbling as he shifted on the sofa that evening. Nothing felt comfy anymore. His tops only fit because magic. And here he was almost on the spookiest night of the year, unable to drink and get on villagers’ nerves with his gang of unruly children.

“Angel, hurry uuuup!” He yelled.

“Coming.” Aziraphale appeared from the kitchen with a tray. Popcorn, little sandwiches and elderberry cordial.

“Bout time, I'm bored.”

Aziraphale put the tray on the coffee table and curled up on the sofa, Crowley shuffling into his lap with a sigh.

The film wasn't anything particularly stimulating, but it was nice to spend time together without 3 pairs of hands trying to get their attention. However, the Angel’s hands were becoming just as bad. Crowley moaned as his husband stroked his middle gently, exposing it to the air and the Angels’ very presence waking the twins.

“Angel...” Crowley moaned.

“Sshhhh.” Aziraphale murmured, “You two are far too feisty. You’ll see us soon enough, go back to sleep.”

Crowley couldn’t stand it anymore, “HOW soon angel?”

“I don't know dearest, they'll make that choice.”

“Well so long as it's not before the end of the film. Guardians 2 is great. Musically ideal.”

Aziraphale went quiet a moment. Then he murmured, “Have you noticed they’ve dropped, Dear?”

“Wha?”

“The twins. They’ve dropped. Didn’t you notice?”

“Damned if I know Angel. There’s two of the bastards, they’re still intent on fighting my diaphragm for space.” The demon uttered a sudden snarl of rage. Aziraphale withdrew his hand in a panic, “Dear?”

“Fuck.”

“What is it?!”

“Little bastards! Sitting on t' plumbing. Need to piss.”

The Angel looked briefly as though he might shake him, then took a deep breath, “I'll pause the film dear.”

*

“What do you want to watch tomorrow night?” Aziraphale asked when his husband shuffled back with a groan and a slow sway of his burdened hips.

“Dunno.”

“Come now Dear…” The angel smiled, “You should enjoy it - It was so kind of Harriet & Kellie to have the children tonight, and to take them trick or treating tomorrow. Especially as they get so little time together.”

“Mmph.” Crowley sulked.

“Come on dear, it's only 1 year... and you still got to help with the costumes…”

Crowley growled, then hissed lowly. Aziraphale paused, turning to look at him as he draped himself back over the sofa.

“Are you alright Crowley?”

“F'in fine.” came the grumble, “Sick of whatever it is the bastards are doing now.”

“Like what?” Aziraphale puzzled.

“Like a bloody war zone. Don’think this pair get along.”

“Oh my dear...” Aziraphale soothed, “It won't be too much longer. And you've done so much better than I did...”

*

Crowley was still grumpy by bedtime, and to top it off he felt sick again. Aziraphale told him it was because he hadn't eaten more than snacks since breakfast, but Crowley just waved his hand and went slowly upstairs.

He was sat on the corner of the bed when Aziraphale followed him up.

“Angel, make ‘em settle, please…”

The angel joined him immediately, snuggling into bed alongside his husband and pulling his nightdress up, soothing and humming gently to the twins. He did this for a while, the babies obviously riled up over something. Then he paused, his eyes opening. A hiss from his husband as well as what he could feel clued him in.

“Crowley! You're in - t-that is, they're- did you not notice? Honestly?”

Crowley blinked at him incredulously, “Wha-?”

“I suppose they're still weak at the moment but - Crowley they're on their way - today of all days - dearest if I'd have known - I'll run you a bath, and get the towels and-”

Crowley grabbed his hand as he tried to jump out of bed, “Not yet, Angel.” He nudged his husband’s hand with his nose, and Aziraphale turned, realising with a start that the demons eyes had gone full on Snake in realisation and panic.

“S-ssstay, please.”

Aziraphale bit his lip, “But-”

“Need you here. Be ages yet. Promise.”

Aziraphale wrapped an arm around him, rubbing his thin shoulders gently. The demon had gone suddenly very cold in shock.

“Okay. A little longer, but I need to get you ready.” The Angel told him, kissing his forehead, “Oh my dear. No wonder you’ve felt so awful today.”

Crowley clung to him, shaking silently. The angel held him for some time before the demon let out another whine. His eyes were still blown, and Aziraphale was very concerned.

“Listen dear, let's go back downstairs, and I'll get you a little tot of something.”

“’Ziraphale...the babies.”

“One tot won't hurt them at this point, Crowley. If it relaxes you it's worth it. Unless you'd rather not?”

Crowley snuggled his husband even closer, “Alright.”

Aziraphale lifted him, cuddling him close and carrying him to the kitchen, where he uncorked a good, medium strength ginger gin while a pan of milk was boiling on the stove.

“Here you go.” he handed a shot over, followed by a hot chocolate as soon as he’d finished it.

The demon took his drinks down quickly and moaned lowly. The angel took him to the sofa next, made him comfortable, wrapped him in the knitted throw and held him close until he began to snore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come on Crowley, you can do this 😍


	41. Chapter 41

Aziraphale woke Crowley with coffee in the morning, “How is it, my dear?”

“Warm and wet and sweet, you know how I like it.” Crowley replied. Aziraphale chuckled, “No dear, the pain?”

“Oh. Well.” Crowley held the bump gently, “No good, still hurtsss.” Despite the hiss he was grinning wryly. Aziraphale passed him some toast, “Get some food into you dear. Those pair are probably, oh what is the word, hangry? Then we can go for a walk.”

Crowley groaned.

“Come on Dear. You know as well as I do you need to have a walk around to help. Then you can have a bath and I'll groom you.”

“You sound like me. Only annoying.”

“That's what you sounded like to me when I bore our children, Dear.” The angel chuckled, “Come on love. Our children await! - Oh! I need to ask Harriet if she'll have the children another night!” He pottered off as Crowley picked at his toast.

*

A slow, shuffled walk around the soft autumn grass seemed to loosen things up a little. Aziraphale was close by at all times when they got home, offering little suggestions, and one of the best he gave the demon was to have a bath in the early afternoon, when things started to become more noticeably painful instead of an irritating ache.

Crowley grumbled as he lay there. The bath water was soothing. He had been pulling muscles the whole pregnancy, every time he got up (mostly from his walk, Aziraphale had told him) and the hot water usually helped. This time though, not much joy.

He was listening to the Angel read to the 3 kids over the phone, a story before trick or treating and also before things really got het up, Harriet had suggested. The story was some high fantasy epic - the twins were happy to follow Freddie’s lead sometimes with story themes thankfully, so only one was needed.

The demon hissed at another spasm, “Urf, need a massage or a new set of muscles.”

He heard Aziraphale go down the corridor slowly, saying his goodnights and have funs to each of the children in turn. Minutes passed. A bit longer. Then he came back up the hall. He heard the words, "No problem at all my Dear. We'll call in the morning.”

As he hung up Crowley called gently, “Angel?”

Aziraphale peered round the door, “You alright dear?”

“Think I need a hand up.”

“You should put your legs in the bath instead of in the air.” Aziraphale chuckled, “You'll get better leverage.”

“Oh give us a hand will ya? Bloody spasms are-ahAH!!” The demon thrashed, bathwater splashing everywhere.

“Dear?!” Aziraphale shot to his side. Crowley was holding his middle, riding the contraction through, “Ah, shit. Angel, I, uh... I think my...”

Aziraphale stared wide eyed at him before he realised what his husband was saying and making to clear the bath bubbles a little between his legs, “Oh! I think so too!”

“Oh thank fuck.” Crowley managed, beginning to laugh, “Angel, they'll be here soon!”

Aziraphale smiled wryly, “Well, as soon as they want to be...”

*

Aziraphale lovingly groomed his husband’s wings for about an hour, before asking him to put them away. This done, he bent over his back and placed his hands gently on the demon’s shoulders. Crowley raised an eyebrow, “Angel?”

“Just hoping this might help.” His husband smiled as he began to carefully, a little tentatively massage at his neck, working his way down.

Crowley hissed, “Where did you learn thisss, angel?” Pleasure prickled at his neck and he shivered happily, “thatssss ssso good....”

“Internet course - Anathema needed a partner to help with the course when Marie was having growing pains, so I volunteered.”

“Ssssssssnissse.” Was the only reply he got until he groaned a few minutes later, “Angel, remind me not to do thisssss again.”

“You didn't have to do it this time dear. You kept insisting if I wanted 9 we would have 9 without too much gap. I told you I could most likely repair myself given enough time.” He paused, “Dear, would you like to swap?”

“No.” Crowley replied, “You gotta sssit through it thisss time.”

“Spite doesn't suit you, Dear.” Aziraphale murmured, “I am grateful to you for giving me the opportunity to experience it from here... It’s been lovely. But also very worrying from time to time. And I do wish you'd just let me help.”

Crowley snorted, “I tried to swap with you when Li and Ari arrived. You deliberately made it impossible. So no, Angel. I'll do this one.”

“Two.” Aziraphale reminded him.

“Twins for twins.” The demon snorted, “Ohhh...”

Aziraphale moved to his lower back, “Maybe I should work on your front.”

“Don't you dare move ‘till you've finished.” Crowley mumbled, “Best massage I've had since Rome.”

“Oh? I'll remember that.” The angel chuckled.

“Yeah, remember when we visited in 2023?” Crowley cackled. Aziraphale pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, “Serpent.” He kissed his neck again, “Dear, silly old Serpent.”

*

Hours wore on, and progress was slow.

“Why does it hurt so much?!” Crowley growled as he paced up and down the bedroom, unable to settle. Aziraphale sighed, “Because that's how it feels.”

“I wasn't expecting so much... Uuuurrrrgh.... so much. I am a fallen! In fact I fell TWICE over! Angel to Demon, Demon to Kulkulkan mimicking bastard Earth Defender! I've felt pain before, I didn't expect this much pain!”

“Perhaps therein lies the clue.” Aziraphale said guiltily, where he sat on the bed.

“What are you talking about, Angel?” The demon growled as he turned on his heel and continued to pace, slowly and painfully.

“This much pain.” Aziraphale repeated, “If you had expected no pain, likely you would have had little pain. But you've seen me struggle through this before. You knew it would hurt so you didn't have any thought of the fact you could numb it down if only you expected at the start it wouldn't hurt... and now it's too late, your corporation is running with this, my dear, and I'm so sorry.”

"Could have bloody told me."Crowley hissed, and sat in Aziraphale’s lap, facing him for comfort which was given by gentle, warming hands that knew exactly where the pain would be.

“It’s not your fault, Angel.” he managed finally.

“And it's not yours either, Dear. No matter what you think, about being the Serpent of Eden, about Eve’s punishment… This isn’t your fault. This is how – she - made it when she threw a tantrum. Just keep breathing through it. When it's all over, we can rest, and cuddle the babies, and not think about doing this again for a long time.”

“Time for usss…” Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale’s neck, leaning back a little, “I like that plan.” he wrapped his long legs around his husband’s waist and nuzzled at him.

“Do you think you can rest a little?” Aziraphale asked.

“Don't think so.”

“How about this then?” the Angel leaned back on the bed, taking Crowley with him. The demon flailed, throwing his legs out so his husband didn’t lie on them, and adjusted himself so both legs were one side of the angel, the bump against his hip and waist and the rest of him draped over his delightfully warm, soft husband.

“Rest, love. You need it.” Aziraphale murmured, stroking his long hair, “Once you told me it made sense for the being of love to be external. I hope I can help, finally.”

Crowley rested.

*

Aziraphale was starting to get more than a little concerned as they finally got to the active stage. When Crowley had woken, the pain too bad to ignore, his teeth were sharper, and small patches of scales peppered his skin randomly. He even gripped his middle so hard at one point that the angel was sure he would sprout true self claws and tear through his skin. He wondered if Crowley himself knew this was happening, “Dearest, are you still with me?”

A hiss was his reply, “Basssstard.”

“Oh. Oh my.” He took his hand and squeezed, “Crowley, are you still with me?”

“Told you what you were didn't I?” the demons face twisted, his eyes rolling as he let out another cry, “Don't like thisssss. Don't like thisss at all.”

“You'll forget.”

“Won't.” His jaw kept working, and leaning close Aziraphale realised he was counting. Still working through the list of things he had memorised and done so well for the angel himself. He felt impotent to help his husband when he already knew what he was doing.

“I'm- I'm worried you're going true form on me.” He managed, voice shaking.

“As - if I have the energy!” Crowley yelped.

“I did, once.” Aziraphale murmured. Then he moved to the end of the bed, kneeling between his husband’s legs. He touched his lips to the demon’s belly, “Come now. One of you argumentative little ones make a move. Your dad is trying his best but you have to help him.”

Crowley howled in agony. Aziraphale reached up, grabbing and squeezing both his hands, “You can do it, Love.”

Crowley looked at him, eye to eye, and swallowed between breaths. He nodded once, and allowed himself to be pulled forward so he was squatting at the end of the bed.

“Hips?” Aziraphale asked.

“Way ahead of you.”

“Good. You can do it, my beautiful, determined Starmaker.”

“Ngk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning to get the final chapter out on Sunday, so my timing has shifted to fit 3 chapters in.  
> And i wanted to post today, as it just happens to be the birthday of a little girl close to my heart, forever missed, who had unintended influence on this whole work, and extended it far beyond my initial thoughts. Here's to the real life Jennet, wherever she may be now.  
> Let's do this, Crowley.


	42. Chapter 42

Crowley didn't expect the near animalistic need to see the first child as they arrived. He gripped Aziraphale's arm tightly as the angel checked them over, “Let me see!”

The angel chuckled, and lifted him up, “One little boy, love.”

Crowley beamed at the baby, pale blonde hair still sodden and golden eyes screwing shut against the lighting as they cried at the cold. Aziraphale made sure he had tight hold of them before reaching to the pile for a fluffy towel so his husband could dry them and warm them gently in these few moments of calm. The Angel clicked the cord sorted and sat alongside, peering at the boy.

“Did you give birth to another Lex?” He teased at the sight of the blonde hair.

“Don’t even go there.” Crowley gasped, tears streaming down his face. Aziraphale kissed his cheek and moved to the sideboard to pick up the baby basket. Crowley kept crying even as he felt the pressure beginning to build again. He was exhausted, and the boy was intent on screaming his ears out. Eventually his temper snapped with the overwhelming feelings, “Shut up will you, you were fighting, you needed time out.”

The boy calmed almost immediately, but stared up at him defiantly. Then he managed a tiny sneeze, and followed with a little smile, as weirdly early as any of their brood.

Crowley snorted, “Comedian, eh.” He glanced to Aziraphale, “What's left?”

“...Thalia, muse of Comedy… and Urania, muse of astronomy.” The angel admitted.

The demon raised an eyebrow.

“The irony is not lost on me, Crowley.” Aziraphale replied. He noted a tenseness flicker across his husband’s eyes at that, and offered his arms, “May I tuck him in for a few minutes, dear?”

The demon became aware through the rolling pride and joy of another weight, another contraction building. He pushed the boy to Aziraphale before he could let out another cry.

Aziraphale bundled the baby up, shushing at him, “Dear darling child. Oh, you look like your father! Dear, sweetheart, just a little time, then we’ll be all over you again.”

The boy looked away, almost as if he were cripplingly shy. Aziraphale felt the love in his chest blooming, and breathed hard, “In a few minutes, I promise you. Just shush a little.” He put the basket on the carpet, close to him but out of the way of Crowley’s flailing limbs.

“If I ever meet Gabriel again, Angel…” Crowley was gritting his fanged teeth already, not really wanting to start the baby boy off crying again by screaming his lungs out, “I’m going to gut him for starting this.”

“You won’t.” Aziraphale chuckled, “You love our children. And you love looking after me. And I after you.”

Distantly Aziraphale heard the grandfather clock in his study strike Midnight. He brushed it aside, and kissed the bump again, “Come along, small one.”

“Don’t you go blessing them!” Crowley snarled, “I am in PAIN, and I’m not going to let you forget it!”

“Of course, Dear.” A little smirk at his threat made the serpent jam a toe in his husbands’ ear.

“I don't get to enjoy watching instead of doing all the work for once?” The angel protested.

“You're the one happy to make as many babies as possible.” Crowley snorted, “Your fault.”

“My fault.” Aziraphale chuckled, “But you made another pair of twins.”

“No, UURRR-God made it another pair of bloody twins.” Crowley protested, “aAaaaA! Angel how did you do this 6 and a bit times?!”

“Chunky Hips.” Aziraphale smiled. Before Crowley could kick him in the nose, he grabbed both the demon's arms, “Crowley my Dear, are you ready?”

“More than!” He cried, “Come on you! Last person out, switch the lights off and lock the sodding door!” His words degenerated into a snarl of pain. Aziraphale kept squeezing his hand right up until he got his first glimpse of the second twin.

“Another blonde, Crowley!” he managed a minute later.

A few minutes was all it took, and Crowley was staring down at Aziraphale expectantly. The angel had paused, looking the child in the face, “Oh. OH my dear, darling girl...”

“What's wrong?!” Crowley panicked.

“Nothing dear… nothing at all!” Aziraphale was crying now. He lifted them to the demon’s arms, “A girl, and she - Crowley you need to see her eyes!”

Crowley swallowed, “No, not my-”

He stared.

“Oh.”

Her eyes were blue, hazel-blue as Aziraphale’s - and he could see the delicate slit of serpentine pupils, even as she squinted at them in the harsh overhead light. He clicked, lowering the light level slightly. She responded, rolling her head to look at him specifically, and then he could see the soft brown markings that crossed one iris horizontally, smaller spikes between each long line. The effect was strikingly of a star in the child's left eye.

This one didn't cry. They stared up at Crowley, their face changing from confusion to utter reverence. They tried to reach for the glittering tears in his eyes.

“She's marked with a star.” Crowley managed finally.

“Meant for you.” Aziraphale was crying too, “A modern day Urania.”

Crowley was aware of himself as if in slow motion as he reached for the girl. Once she was against his chest, he flumped backwards on the bed, wordlessly gazing at her.

At length, and once the demon had finished with the remains, Aziraphale picked up the baby boy, and brought him over. Crowley gazed to the boy, smiling at him, but his focus was still on the girl, her spectacularly starred eye a complete contrast to the other, which gazed at them from a narrow, slit pupil.

Aziraphale cuddled close to Crowley, “Are you alright? You've barely said anything.”

“She's going to be looked at strange.” He said, his voice shaking, “I didn't want them to have my eyes.”

“Then we make it so people don't notice?” Aziraphale questioned.

“But then nobody would see them...” He paused, “And you always say...”

“That I love your eyes. Because I do. I don't think we should hide them. People around here know our children have strange eyes.”

“Angel. She’s so beautiful. They’re – They’re beautiful.”

“She is. They both are. All of them have been perfect.” Aziraphale smiled, “Loving, kind children with appreciation of their gifts and how best they can help others. Our wonderful children, Crowley.”

The demon sniffled. Then he paused, “What time is it?”

Aziraphale sniffed, “I’m not sure. But I do know he was born last night. And she was born this morning. Halloween night, and All saint’s day.”

“Oh.” The demon burst into tears once more. Aziraphale joined him a moment later.

*

Everybody reacted differently to the brief change in air pressure, the hum of a barrier activated, the click of a lock in the shell of the planet.

Alice looked up from her book, curled up in her favourite chair in the flat.

“You feel that?” Ariel asked, striding from the glass doored bedroom a moment later. They were covered in paint, had a brush behind one ear and another in their hand.

“Mm.” Alice nodded, “Weird. Strangely disquieted. I suppose that means...”

“We have new siblings!” Ariel finished.

Alexas fell off the stage during the Halloween production.

Jennet stepped outside at the party she was at for a breather, “Oh my...”

Gabriel woke from a dreamless sleep, aware of the change despite his position, but not quite understanding it.

Anathema sat up in bed, Marie already pushing the door open, “Mama?”

Not yet sensitive enough to it, Ceres and Corin slept through, though Freddie appeared a few moments later at Harriet's bedroom door, “Auntie? Auntie, I want my dad...”

Crowley of course was too distracted to notice, and Aziraphale joined him in that, too wrapped up in tiny heads of blonde hair, love freely given, preciously small fingers. It wouldn't be until morning that they'd pick up the texts, and start to realise that they were for the most part, entirely cut off now.

*

Crowley awoke at a strange sensation. He looked down, finding the little girl still clasped to his bare chest. She was chewing one of his nipples.

“Let go of that.” He told her, “I have no intention of doing that bit.”

“Do you think I might?” Aziraphale asked pleasantly. The demon considered a minute, “I guess. If you fancy it.”

“I do rather.” The Angel chuckled, “And it’s better for them, home grown.” He chuckled. The boy in his arms was smiling again.

“Shall we, dear?” He asked, reaching to unbutton his shirt.

When the boy was contentedly feeding, Aziraphale turned to his husband, “How do you feel?”

“Like my downstairs is permanently rearranged.” The demon replied. He turned to Aziraphale a moment, “How does it look?”

“Your downstairs?”

“Well, that and the rest.” The demon snorted, “If I look okay and you’re doing the feeding, Kellie won’t ask questions.”

“I thought you liked questions.”

“Not when I’m answering them.” Crowley gazed down at the girl, who wriggled and looked the other way, “Should we… talk about names already?”

“I don’t see why not.” The angel replied, “I did like Justice.”

“Justice?!” Crowley shrieked and twisted sharply, causing the baby girl to flail in his arms, “Justice, Angel? After the nearly 2 days of agonising labour, that's justice?!”

“How much agony did I go through over the years, darling?” Aziraphale smiled sweetly. Crowley snorted, “You utter bastard.”

“Guilty as charged dear.” The Angel snorted, "And that is justice."

"Well I'm naming the girl."

"Of course."

The demon glanced down at the child, her eyes scrunched up and her arms pushing against him as if to push him away. And she was strong – but not stronger than he was. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, the scowl, his tousled hair, blood flecked legs, scales everywhere, and still sporting what was left of his baby bump. He made the effort to drag the scales back inside, at any rate, and stood shakily to test his still swollen feet.

“They’ll take a bit of going down unless you miracle them.” Offered Aziraphale.

“Ngk.”

Crowley made it to the window that looked out over the flowerbeds he'd planted in the summer. In the dim light of sunrise he could see little evergreens, pansies and...

"Viola." He decided after a moment’s thought.

“An excellent choice.” The angel smiled, “And as for the middle name…

“Justice Emmanuel.” Crowley decided.

“Oh! I thought you didn’t like that one.”

“Can call him Jef for short.” The demon snorted, “So? Viola-?”

Aziraphale finished feeding Justice, rocking gently to burp him before he answered, “Viola Isabel.”

“Accepted.” The demon nodded, “Viola, and Justice. Welcome to the world.”

Viola headbutted her father’s nipple. The demon cursed, “Alright, alright, I’ll swap you for your brother.”

Aziraphale beamed, “Oh! I’m so pleased, you haven’t let go of her all night.”

“Can’t show the starchild too much favouritism.” The demon snorted, “C’mon, want my son.”


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody who's been following the story from the start. The last 18 months have been some of the hardest I've ever lived through, and it's kept me going knowing there are people out there enjoying the story.  
> To the world 💕

Once they had all eaten, relocated to the living room, and the twins were asleep, Crowley made to miracle himself back to normal. Aziraphale held his arm a minute, “Dear? May I – just once more?”

“You really like this cushion, don’t you Angel?” The demon snorted, “I’ll have to remember that kink.”

“It’s not a – it’s just nice.” The Angel blushed, “I’m sorry dear. I’ve enjoyed this so much, every time you thought I wasn’t looking while you were soothing them, or just – just this.” He swept the demon into his arms and lay him on the sofa, resting his head on his middle, soft as it was now it was empty.

“Angel…” Crowley purred gently, “I’ll file it away for later. After the visits.”

“Just a few more minutes.” The Angel hummed, as his husband played with his hair.

Not long after lunch, Harriet’s car pulled up onto the drive. Aziraphale was already at the door, watching the children unload from the back. He giggled as they did, “Oh dear, poor Corin has overindulged again.”

“He’s not covered in sick again is he?” Crowley groaned.

“Not yet. Looks more than a little sorry for himself though.” The angel pulled a sympathetic face. As the noise of the children got closer he opened the door a little more, with a smile and a cheery, “Trick or treat?”

Corin looked like he might throw up if given more chocolate. He hugged Harriet’s leg unhappily and looked everywhere but at his little bucket of sweets.

“I suppose it depends what these two count as.” Crowley said from behind him as the angel let the door fall open.

“Dad!” Freddie squealed, “Dad really? They’re really here? And I missed it!?”

“You would have been sad to miss Halloween, dear.” Aziraphale replied.

“Yeah but-” Freddie was already clinging to Crowley, “I wanna see! They're a treat! A treat, dad!” The boy wiggled enthusiastically. Corin threw up. Ceres laughed at him and pattered up to Aziraphale to be hefted up so she could see.

“More blondes, dear!” Aziraphale told her.

“Ah!” The girl giggled, “Not just me an’ Lex now!”

“No, exciting isn’t it?” He asked, glancing over to Corin, “Are you alright dear? Too many sweets?”

“I’m so sorry, he snuck them to bed.” Harriet admitted, “He’s so quiet.”

“He is that.” Crowley snorted, “Hey son. Put your bucket down on the stairs and go and wash your face. Take after your father don’t you-”

“Excuse me?” Aziraphale practically squeaked.

“Loving his sweets.”

Luckily the chaos didn’t last long. Now he was empty again Corin was fairly quiet, and Aziraphale made sure to get him up onto his lap, remembering the boy’s disappointment at not being the baby anymore. Meanwhile Ceres was excited to hold one of the babies, and she got Justice first.

Her reaction was an explosion of giggles. Justice just smiled.

Freddie managed to wrangle Viola out of his dad, “Hi…” He paused, “Oh dad! DAD!”

“Yeah, I know son.” Crowley beamed.

“Oh she’s the BEST sister!”

“Not best!” Ceres screamed.

“Apart from you. And Li. And Jess.”

Aziraphale glanced at Crowley. The demon blinked, mouthing, “Did you tell him..?”

“No.” Aziraphale mouthed back.

Luckily the two human women missed it entirely. Harriet was busy cooing at Justice when Kellie practically screamed at Viola’s eyes, “Good lord, they’re astounding!”

“Takes after her dad.” Aziraphale beamed with a proud glance to his husband.

“Both of them.” Crowley shot back.

*

They spent the rest of the day quietly. The children were worn out from Halloween, and the babies from their arrival, so everybody was in bed early.

Crowley woke early the next morning to find his feet properly (and miraculously) recovered, as well as a missing angel. He checked the twins – by the look of the discarded bibs on the floor (which he clicked clean and back into the drawer, thank you Angel) both had been recently fed, and burped, but they weren’t asleep. He took a few minutes to rock them in their cribs until they drifted off.

Aziraphale wasn’t in the en-suite. He wasn't in his study, or the kitchen, or the living room. The back door was unlocked though.

Crowley slunk across the fresh dew to where the Angel sat, staring at the sky. It was a clear November night, and the stars spread above them for all to see his husband’s glorious work.

“Are you waiting for dawn out here? Got a good couple of hours yet, if so.” The demon said.

“Oh, hello Crowley. No I was just... Watching.”

“The sky? You know we have TV, right? And day-old babies? Ah! Don't tell me you of all people are avoiding night cries!”

“I fed them! Why aren't you with them?”

“Because I just had to settle them and there was no one to settle me.” He knelt behind the angel and wrapped his long arms around his husband’s neck, “What is it? You can tell me, you know that.”

“We have a set now. All the classic muses.” The angel started.

“And you’re still broody for more? Fine we'll just create our own pantheon then!” Crowley flailed dramatically, “Stormzy next?”

“There’s honestly no need to be flippant. If our work is done – as it should be – as we’ve been told it is, and we’re protected until these two are grown... What next? We're protectors. But the plan remains…”

“Ineffable.” Crowley finished, “So let it eff. Let it eff right off and you can come to bed.” He nuzzled his husband’s neck.

“You really are too much sometimes, love.” Aziraphale murmured, a smile fighting onto his features.

“Equal partners in this relationship, Angel.” The demon chuckled, “Come on. Back to bed. I’ve kept a bump warm for you.”

Aziraphale began to chuckle at that, “My wily serpent. My starmaker.”

“And your brood mare.” Crowley snorted, “C’mon, I know you want to try it out.”

Laughter echoed in the trees as the angel lifted his husband bridal style, “Go on then, insufferable demon. I’ll bend to your role play. But not in bed…”

“My role play?! You’re the one who loves this! As a matter of fact, after that expert performance for Kellie, you could do it for me sometime!”

“Oh!” Aziraphale nearly dropped his partner, “I could, couldn’t I?”

The echoes got quieter; the no-longer Angel and Demon were moving away. A few moments later the door of the Bentley opened, then shut firmly.

And the opening lines of ‘Don’t stop me now’ began to blare into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its my birthday tomorrow so there will be frivolity (or as much frivolity as you can get in lockdown, anyway) so here you go, have this early.   
> I really like this ending, and I hope you lot do too 💕  
> Theres still a few one off fics to come in Immortal Invisible, and an... interesting AU thats caught my attention. Also look up Enelica on tumblr, who is drawing pics of the Ineffababies for me and doing the very bestest job! 😍


End file.
